Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
Your friends "marry" and "divorce" rather than "hook up" and "break up."
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the music.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid rather than condoms and pregnancy tests.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."