higher powered

chillin'

2012-02-01T04:55:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm doing OK. I've been ill with Viral Conjunctivitus (aka - pinkeye) since Sunday night and have hardly left the house. I can't go to meetings for another day or two becuase it's quite contagious. But I'm doing fine and thank God for my sobriety insurance. It consists of everything else I do besides just meetings.

for my regular life. I'm not usually at home during the day until 2 or 3pm. Television really sucks. LOL

for peace

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.

- Robert Foster Bennett

Cats & People

2012-01-31T05:09:00.000-06:00

My cats in 2004.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 12 -- "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these prinicples in all our affairs." Once I understood what this really means, it became clear that it summarized the design for living I had been given. The difficult part is living it. I do my best and I believe that most of my recovery friends do, as well.

for my cats. I haven't mentioned them in a while. They're still around; mother and her 2 daughters. As they get older, they have changed. They seem much more affectionate than when they were younger. hmmmmmmmm..........

for the huge collection of people I worked for and with in the offshore oil exploration industry. People from over 25 countries, including Mississippi. Some spoke english, some didn't. But they all (almost) taught me some life lessons. If I had been sober during all those years, I'd probably remember more of those life lessons. LOL

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You can get there from here ...

2012-01-30T05:03:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a meeting yesterday about forgiveness. I heard some very intersting takes on this. For this alkie, forgiveness is no longer an issue. It happens without conscious thought (almost always). I can't afford NOT to be forgiving because the result will be a resentment. I don't want a resentment. I am learning to deal with it and then just let go.
LET GO!! LET GO!!

that we celebrated January sobriety birthdays at Lambda Center on Saturday. Typically, the month of January has the most people with sobriety dates. This year, we had 41 people celebrating with a total of 628 years of being sober. There were over 150 family and friends on hand to support them.
It was a wonderful night (took about 2.5 hours to hear everyone share).

for gorgeous weather over the weekend.

I went to the annual Houston International Auto Show. I'll post a few photos during the week.

Since you are the one who has to live with your choices, be sure they are your own.

- Alan Cohen

I've been there before ...

2012-01-29T06:04:00.000-06:00

Places I have been .....

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane and have run in to a lot of my friends while there. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt far too many times to count. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

The 60's

2012-01-28T05:24:00.000-06:00

This is a good presentation of the 1960's. Sit back and enjoy.
If you weren't born until after then, sit back and be jealous.

click HERE

Happy Friday!

2012-01-27T04:55:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we're all in the same boat together

for the freedom to make better choices than I used to make

that my blogger friend, Mary Christine, has embarked on a new job

for David Blaine, the magician. I cannot figure him out.

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't
appreciate kindness and compassion.

- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

potpourri ...

2012-01-26T04:59:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for this, from my Al Anon meeting last night ...

"Finally, it's all about me!"

for sunshine (during the day)

for common sense. However, it seems to become less common as I get older.

for those little holes they put in the middle of donuts

You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

round and round

2012-01-25T04:47:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I love being sober

that it's good to be in recovery

that I really enjoy listening

that I really like being in the middle of things

Revenge... is like a rolling stone,
which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.

- Albert Schweitzer

Conscious Contact

2012-01-24T05:02:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 11. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

"Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine. And for the same reason. When we refuse air, light, or food, the body suffers."

Before I came into the rooms of recovery, I never prayed. I had no Higher Power to pray to. It took some conscious effort at first to get into a habit of daily, scheduled contact with my HP. Today, I can't imagine doing without it. At least, as long as I stay sober. If I begin drinking again, there will be no room for a HP other than alcohol. For me, it's one or the other.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

– Joseph Campbell

Going my way?

2012-01-23T04:59:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to hear one of my favorite recovery speakers on Saturday. He has a way of relating his story of alcoholism in a funny, entertaining and very, very real way. It was the 3rd or 4th time I've had this opportunity and it is still fresh.

that I can find ways to carry the message just by being present

that I own fewer resentments than ever

for the incredible, life-long efforts of Jane Goodall (seen on 60 Minutes last night)

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

- Winston Churchill

BFF

2012-01-22T06:19:00.000-06:00

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.
Please pass this on to your children and grandchildren so they can understand your texts.
ATD:	At The Doctor's
BFF:	Best Friend Fainted
BTW:	Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT:	Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM:	Covered By Medicare
CGU:	Can't get up
CUATSC:	See You At The Senior Center
DWI:	Driving While Incontinent
FWB:	Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW:	Forgot Where I Was
FYI:	Found Your Insulin
GGPBL:	Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA:	Got Heartburn Again
HGBM:	Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO:	Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO:	Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL:	Living On Lipitor
LWO:	Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR:	On My Massage Recliner
OMSG:	Oh My! Sorry Gas.
ROFL... CGU:	Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL:	Talk To You Louder
WAITT:	Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA:	Wet The Furniture Again
WTP:	Where's The Prunes?
WWNO:	Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI:	(Gotta Go Laxative Kicking In)

The Dog Who Came toDinner

2012-01-21T05:57:00.000-06:00

The Dog Who Came to Dinner

A very devout man had the practice of praying each day, and having long conversations with God. Longing to meet God in person, one day he invited God to join him for a meal. To the man's great surprise, God accepted, and an appointment time was set.

The man shopped for the very finest foods and prepared them with a skilled and patient hand. Then he washed himself, put on his finest clothes, and sat in his comfortable chair waiting for God.

At exactly the appointed time, there was a thump at the door. When the man opened the door, a black dog raced past him, leapt onto the table, and began devouring the food the man had so carefully prepared for God. Enraged that the dog was spoiling his dinner with God, the man grabbed a stick and began beating the dog. The dog howled at the blows, then ran out the door whimpering.

The man did his best to repair the table and the fine food. He waited for the rest of the day, but there was no knock on the door. Finally the man gave up waiting. He was certain that God had not come because the dinner had been spoiled by the dog.

The man prayed to God, "I am so sorry the dinner was ruined by that wretched dog. Please, please come to dine with me tomorrow. I will prepare all new and wonderful food." The image of God appeared before the man. Cuts and bruises were on God's head and side. "I came to your house today at the appointed time. I was very hungry, so I came in the form of a dog in order to best enjoy your fine food, but you beat me and chased me away."

Moral: God lives in the least of us.

Finite Friday

2012-01-20T04:55:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be sober (always)
to be serene (usually)
to be at peace (most of the time)
to have a partner (almost 10 years)
to belong to a recovery center (8 years)
to have many friends in recovery (too many to count)
to have a new home (3 years old)
to have 3 cats (1 mother + 2 kids)
to know that there's not enough space to complete this list ('nuff said)

A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.- Henry Ward Beecher

remember when ...

2012-01-19T04:57:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the freshness of another day

that I can understand and empathize the pain that friends are experiencing without letting it get me down

that we all get to live in this ever-changing world

Pammie - I'm still not able to post comments on your blog. The screen just goes blank.

Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

moving right along ...

2012-01-18T04:47:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am what I am. If I were any different, I wouldn't be me. (huh?)

for the help that comes my way when I'm able to lower my defenses

for the story from the Big Book, titled "Acceptance Was the Answer." I know some of you have met and listened to the author of this story. Maybe I will have that privilege someday too. His story is chocked full of wisdom.
Here's a favorite quote ...

"For years I was sure the worst thing that could happen to a nice guy like me would be that I would turn out to be an alcoholic. Today I find it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. This proves I don't know what's good for me. And if I don't know what's good for me, then I don't know what's good or bad for you or for anyone. So I'm better off if I don't give advice, don't figure I know what's best, and just accept life on life's terms, as it is today."

that I have jury duty today

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.

- Anonymous

Hey! You're back!

2012-01-17T05:05:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 10. Perseverance. Self examination. Humility.

that I understand the difference between an apology and an amends. I heard somone share yesterday (someone with 30+ years recovery) that they make amends daily. I tell my sponsees that if you're not ready to change your behavior, just apologize; don't claim to make an amends.

for Betty White. I watched her 90th birthday party last night on the telly. She's a national treasure.
Change your thoughts, change your life.
- James Allen

Moving on .......

2012-01-16T05:01:00.000-06:00

A picture from the 2012 Chevron Houston Marathon. It was run yesterday under clear skies and 45-50 degree temperatures.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be constantly reminded how powerless I am over just about everything. Especially when it comes to changing others.

for the hour and a half I got to spend with friends while we watched the Houston Marathon yesterday. We had a few friends to cheer as they passed by. Gorgeous weather for a little 26 mile run.

that my NFL team, The Texans, did their best but came up short in the 2nd round of the playoffs. They can hold their (now more experienced) heads high.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

Secret to a GREAT Relationship?

2012-01-15T05:16:00.000-06:00

by Jonathon Huie

Behind all the issues that separate an ordinary relationship from a great one, is one common factor. Behind all the truly helpful advice on improving your life together, there lies one key to a great relationship.

Many different kinds of problems can cause a relationship to fall apart. Physical or emotional abuse, addictions, cheating, jealousy, and neediness are just a few of the issues that can destroy a relationship. But once the many potentially disastrous problems have been avoided, what have you got? Perhaps a relationship that qualifies only as "pretty good." But what creates a really great relationship?

At the beginning, we are in relationship because we are attracted to the other person - we think they are sexy, smart, funny, whatever it is that we find appealing. But very quickly, the focus of the relationship turns to whether we feel appreciated. If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.

It is common for those entering into a relationship to hold an idealized image of how a perfect partner is supposed to act. Perhaps a man is supposed to open car doors. Perhaps a woman is supposed to wear a certain kind of underwear. The internal dialog goes something like this, "Jim (or Sally) is a wonderful person and loves me. After we're together, he will change because he loves me so much. He will stop wanting to hang out with his friends, watch football games, whatever." How can anyone feel appreciated when their loved one is wishing or hoping for them to change.

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats. This classic human tendency is lampooned in the long-running off-Broadway musical comedy "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." It's funny to watch other people go through the cycle of searching for the perfect mate, believing they have found that person, and than gradually attempting to remold the supposedly perfect partner. Unfortunately, in real life, this pattern is a cause of immense suffering.

I Love You Just the Way You Are

The number one secret of a great relationship is accepting our partner EXACTLY as they are. We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe our loved ones to be imperfect and try to change them.

To create a great relationship, say and mean, "I love you just the way you are." No pretense. No hoping for change. No thought that it used to be better, or might get better. Follow through by living into that sentiment every day.

Falling into the trap of thinking, "I wish you were different" or "Please change." is no way to show your love. Happiness lies in this number one rule of great relationships: Love and accept your partner exactly the way they are.

Wrong!

2012-01-14T05:50:00.000-06:00

FALSE PREDICTIONS

These quotes show that it’s risky to say that something can’t or won’t be done, especially when technology is concerned and it’s the right thing to do. I hope it inspires others to do the right thing.

PHONOGRAPH – “The phonograph has no commercial value at all.” (Thomas Edison)

TELEGRAPH – “I watched his countenance closely, to see if he was not deranged … and I was assured by other senators after he left the room that they had no confidence in it.” (U.S. Senator Smith of Indiana, after witnessing a demonstration of Samuel Morse’s telegraph, 1842)

TELEPHONE – “Well-informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value.” (Boston Post, on the telephone, 1865)

TELEPHONE – “This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” (Western Union internal memo, 1876)

TELEPHONE – “The Americans think we need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.” (Sir William Preece, chief engineer of Britain’s Post Office, 1876)

ELECTRICITY – “Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.” (Thomas Edison, 1889)

CARS – “The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty–a fad.” (President of the Michigan Savings Bank, speaking to Henry Ford’s lawyer, Horace Rackham. Rackham ignored the advice, invested $5000 in Ford stock, and sold it later for $12.5 million.)

PLANES – “Heavier-than-air flying machines are fantasy. Simple laws of physics make them impossible.” (Lord Kelvin, president, British Royal Society, 1895)

INVENTION – “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” (Charles H. Duell, commissioner of the US Patent Office, recommending that his office should be abolished, 1899)

PLANES – “Man will not fly for 50 years.” (Wilbur Wright, to brother Orville after a disappointing flying experiment in 1901. Their first successful flight was in 1903.)

PLANES – “There will never be a bigger plane built.” (A Boeing engineer, after the first flight of the 247, a twin-engine plane that holds ten people)

RADIO – “The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” (David Sarnoff’s associates responding to his urgings for investment in radio, 1912)

TANKS – “Caterpillar land ships are idiotic and useless. Those officers and men are wasting their time and are not pulling their proper weight in the war” (Fourth Lord of the British Admiralty, regarding the introduction of tanks in war, 1915)

TANKS – “The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.” (ADC to Field Marshal Haig, at tank demonstration, 1916)

MOVIES – “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” (H. M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927)

NUCLEAR – “There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.” (Albert Einstein, 1932)

NUCLEAR – “That is the biggest fool thing we have ever done. The bomb will never go off, and I speak as an expert in explosives.” (Admiral William Leahy, when President Truman asked for his opinion on the project to build an atomic bomb)

SPACE – “A rocket will never be able to leave the earth’s atmosphere.” (New York Times, 1936)

COMPUTERS – “I think there is a world market for about five computers.” (Thomas J. Watson Jr., chairman of IBM, 1943)

TELEVISION – “Television won’t last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.” (Darryl Zanuck, Movie Producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946)

TELEVISION – “The problem with television is that the people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; The average American family hasn’t time for it.” (New York Times, 1949)

SPACE – “Space travel is bunk.” (Sir Harold Spencer Jones, Astronomer Royal of the UK, 1957, two weeks before Sputnik orbited the Earth)

COPIERS – “The world potential market for copying machines is 5000 at most.” (IBM to the founders of Xerox as it turned down their proposal, 1959)

SPACE – “There is practically no chance communications space satellites will be used to provide better telephone, telegraph, television, or radio service inside the United States.” (T. Craven, FCC Commissioner, 1961)

MUSIC – “Guitar music is on the way out.” (Decca Records, declining to record a new group called The Beatles, 1962)

COMPUTERS – “There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.” (Kenneth Olson, founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977)

COMPUTERS – “So we went to Atari and said, ‘Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we’ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we’ll come work for you.’ And they said, ‘No.’ So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, ‘Hey, we don’t need you. You haven’t gone through college yet.‘” (Steve Jobs, founder of Apple)

COMPUTERS – “640 K [of computer memory] ought to be enough for anybody.” (Bill Gates, founder and CEO of Microsoft, 1981)

COMPUTERS – “We see a corporate market of maybe 15,000 PCs a year by 1990.” (DataQuest, 1984)

COMPUTERS – “By 1990 75-80 percent of IBM compatible computers will be sold with OS/2.” (Bill Gates, founder and CEO of Microsoft, 1988)

COMPUTERS – “I predict that the last mainframe will be unplugged on March 15, 1996.” (Stewart Alsop, InfoWorld columnist, 1991)

INTERNET – “I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse.” (Robert Metcalfe, founder of 3Com and inventor of Ethernet, 1995)

FRI the 13th

2012-01-13T05:08:00.000-06:00

Citroen 2CV and a 1958 Renault

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for A.A.'s Tradition One. "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity."
I attend a Twelve and Twelve study each week. Yesterday we read and discussed Tradition One. I know this much ... if this tradition was not in place and observed, A.A. would never have lasted as long as it has. If you want to know more about it, read it for yourself.

that I seem to become more passive as I grow older and soberer. Things that used to bother me don't bother me nearly as much. Things that I used to jump into the middle of, I can now just sit back and watch.

for advanced sobriety. I define that as more than a day sober.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
- Anonymous

today's report .....

2012-01-12T04:39:00.000-06:00

1966 AMC Marlin

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to spend some time with one of my favorite new-in-recovery people yesterday. I am always amazed at the honesty and frankness of some people. I guess when we have hit bottom and there's nowhere else to go, honesty and frankness are a bit easier to come by. Regardless, it's fresh and I'm grateful to be a part of it.

for the camaraderie we experience in recovery; ie: some of the things we laugh at that "normal" people might frown upon. LOL

that no amount of money can buy "the desire to stop drinking"

that I don't have to be the "boss" any more. I like just being a follower.

We can always choose to perceive things differently.
You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right.- Marianne Williamson

Taking nothing for granted

2012-01-11T04:55:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for great weather
for rain
for gravity
for politeness
for friendship
for the shelter over my head
for a fat tummy

But most of all, I'm grateful for my sobriety, without which, I would have been sprinkled over the ground somewhere.

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot

8 & 9

2012-01-10T04:41:00.000-06:00

1956 Cadillac convertible

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the really good AA meeting yesterday about steps 8 & 9. It occurred to me that before I can make a list of people I've harmed, first I have to define "harmed". Then, before I can become willing to make amends, first I must define "amends". I shared these two thoughts and then, of course, stressed the importance of working these steps with a sponsor who can be objective. Left to my own thinking, I may think I've never harmed anyone or that I have harmed everyone with whom I've ever come into contact. I need my sponsors' guidance on this.

for the wisdom of folks who have been there and done that

that I watched the movie "Tora, Tora, Tora!" last night. It's been many years since I've seen it and I really enjoy the film. This Saturday, I plan on going to see the new movie "The Iron Lady" with some movie-buff recovery friends.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson

Back to writin'

2012-01-09T04:54:00.000-06:00

1954 Corvette

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to see some of the changes that occur in newly-sober people

for the return-on-investment I receive in recovery

that I am back on the Board of Directors of Lambda Center after a 3 year absence (it will be my fourth stint as Secretary)

for a lovely weekend of 70+ degree temperatures in H-town; came in real handy at the car show I was at on Saturday. I'm gonna post a few pictures this week.

The full measure of a man is

not to be found in the man himself,

but in the colors and textures that

come alive in others because of him.

- Albert Schweitzer

Me? A Versatile Blogger?

2012-01-08T06:14:00.000-06:00

A few days ago, Mary Christine at BEING SOBER (see the link on my sidebar) chose me as someone she'd like to give this in-house blogger award. I'm supposed to list 7 things about me that I have not yet revealed. There's a link on my sidebar called "100 things about me" that I wrote many years ago when I began this blog. I don't know what I can add to that. I'm also supposed to tag 3 others to do the same.
I'll try to find those 7 things and list them here, but I'm not gonna tag anyone. If you'd like to make such a list for yourself, go for it.
OK. Let's see what comes out ...........

1. I'm a car afficionado. Since I was a small child I've loved cars. Now, at 57, I have 4 cars, 2 of them so-called collector cars. I occasionally enter them in car shows.

2. I've always collected things. Nothing big. Nothing important. Just things.

3. I'm afraid of heights in some cases. But I've flown in many helicopters and even sky-dived with no fear at all. That seems kinda weird to me.

4. I'm a weather watcher. I actually understand how weather systems work.

5. I don't need an alarm clock. I've always been an early riser, even when I drank to oblivion the night before.

6. Sometimes I have a need to be in the middle of things. Other times, I'd prefer to just be in the background. This seems to work well for me as a recovering alcoholic.

7. I enjoy working in my yard. Raking leaves and pulling weeds. Keeping the grass trimmed and neat. Pulling weeds? You gotta be kidding!

Cheers.

note: I attended the Houston Texans playoff games yesterday and was one of over 71,000 fans on hand. It was a great experience. (we won)

Feeling Sad?

2012-01-07T05:17:00.000-06:00

It is surprisingly common for people to feel sad for long periods of time without knowing the reason for their sadness. If your aunt, or your pet goldfish, died recently, or your boyfriend dumped you, at least you know why you are sad. You may not like the feeling, but at least you know the cause and have a specific issue to deal with.

However, when your sadness is generalized, continuing, and has no obvious cause, you need to look deeper at what is going on. Ask yourself these five questions.

1. Have you ever considered suicide or harming yourself in any way? If you have, you must get professional help at once. This is more than a casual sadness and a skilled professional can help.

2. What activities bring you joy? If you can't write down at least several activities you enjoy, your sadness probably relates to an emptiness - a need to have an enjoyable focus to your life.

3. How often do you engage in activities that bring you joy? If you can identify activities that you enjoy, but seldom spend time in those activities, your sadness again is an emptiness, being unfulfilled.

4. What are you committed to? What do you fervently believe in? The absence of a strong commitment to a cause or a set of ideals can lead to continuing sadness. A fulfilling commitment could be a dedication to your Higher Power, but it could also be a commitment to world peace, ending hunger in your own town, or becoming a concert pianist.

5. Who are you committed to helping? The path to happiness is usually found in helping others. Compassion and generosity of your time and love lead out of sadness into happiness.

by Jonathan Huie

Continued to take personal inventory

2012-01-06T04:50:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thaAnkful

that I will go to 3 AA meetings today as I do every Friday

for these goodies from Step 10 of the book known as the 12 X 12 ......

... "a continuous look at our assets and liabilities, and a real desire to learn and grow by this means, are necessities for us."

... "it is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us."

... "we have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."

... "nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen."

Have a GREAT weekend!

It is not the man who has too little,
but the man who craves more, that is poor.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Some things go without saying (you won't find them here)

2012-01-05T04:46:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for people who stick to their values

that my recovery is all about me

to be reminded (often) that I can't change anyone but myself

that you have taken some valuable time out of your day to read this stuff

that there are only 353 shopping days until Christmas

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

- Sydney Harris

Important stuff

2012-01-04T05:02:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

it passed (see yesterday's post)

for sober experience

that I continue to listen to everyone who shares in an AA meeting. Sometimes (often) I don't understand or really even care what they have to say. But if I choose to not listen, I will undoubtedly miss something I need to hear.

When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers.

- Gerald Jampolsky

Feelings. Ugh!

2012-01-03T04:52:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a new year and the things that I absolutely know I'll learn; I just don't know what those things are (yet)

that I can stay sober through some (hopefully) minor depression that I'm going through. I am doing my best to stay positive, but my home life really sucks right now. When I'm away from home and able to be around others in recovery, things get much better. I know this will pass, but it would be great if it would just hurry up.

I'm not very comfortable putting this out on the internet, so it's about all I'll say about it in this forum.

Success comes from knowing that
you did your best to become the best
that you are capable of becoming.

- John Wooden

Here we go .........

2012-01-02T04:45:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I made it through another new year's eve without drinking; that makes 9 in-a-row

for solutions to my problems. Those problems this past week have involved wanting to isolate. The solution has been to stick to my program closely and to share with a few people what's going on inside this head. I know I have to remain accountable.

for an even-numbered year -- 2012. I like them better than odd-numbered ones.

At all times and under all circumstances, we have the power to transform the quality of our lives.
- Werner Erhard

My Wish For You in 2012 ...

2012-01-01T05:25:00.000-06:00

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.- Anonymous

Gone in 2011

2011-12-31T05:30:00.000-06:00

It's always difficult for me to remember famous people who have died over any given year. So I thought I'd share this link with you today.

note: When I lived overseas for many years, many people died and I never heard about their passing. I'm sure there are many who died and I still don't know about it.

Celebrity deaths in 2011 -- click here

Going, going ...

2011-12-30T04:41:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I still benefit from these short little gratitude lists. They used to be longer but they have evolved into what you see here, today. This is my last one for this year, but I'll continue on Monday. I hope you have a great weekend, but above all, stay sober and safe.

for my new, daily mantra ...

Let no one steal your peace, David.

I use it often, lately.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.

- Joseph Campbell

As a sober man ...

2011-12-29T05:10:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that, as a sober man in recovery, I get to meet so many varied individuals

for a very insightful Al Anon meeting last night. We discussed the concept of not accepting unacceptable behavior. As a sober man, I know that I have choices to form personal boudaries. I'm not very good at this. I really hope I will improve. I have a tendency to be quite passive which gives others the potential to take advantage of me. So much to learn but at least I have the rest of my life to learn these things and put them into practice.

that, as a sober man in recovery, I attend different types of 12-step meetings and learn how to act in public.

Success is to be measured not so much
by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.

- Booker T. Washington

OK, everybody wait your turn...

2011-12-28T04:57:00.000-06:00

hundreds protest global warming.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm sober - yesterday (all day) and today (so far)

that I was able to find a Higher Power and allow it to evolve. That evolution continues and I want it to keep on evolving. This seems to occur through working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and doing my best to live the best life I can.

that power = choices

that it's already the middle of the week. That didn't take any effort.

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.

If we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

- Anne Bradstreet

Got caption?

2011-12-27T04:52:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for first step meetings. It's a tradition where I attend meetings to concentrate on Step One when we have a first-time newcomer present in a meeting. The rawness of a newly-sober person is intriguing to me. It sometimes sends chills as I remember my first days as I began the process of detoxification.

that a good friend gave me a copy of "Drop the Rock", a Hazelden book about Steps 6 & 7. The first line I highlighted reads, "denial: we are totally unaware of our own contribution to our problems."

that I am considering what type of organized service work to involve myself with for 2012. I can tell you this; before I got sober, I never thought about doing any type of volunteer work. That would thave taken entirely too much time away from my necessary bar-hours.

for my friend Pammie, who is experiencing a living nightmare these past few weeks. She's doing it sober and giving us all a great example of recovery-in-action. Prayers to you, dear.

It is impossible to begin to learn that which one thinks one already knows.

- Epictetus

just another day ...

2011-12-26T04:42:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a peaceful weekend of holiday celebrations

for one of the coolest A.A. meetings I've been to. Spontaneously, a group of Veterans came into Lambda (recovery center where I attend meetings) because their VFW post across the street had not yet opened their doors. They were all in recovery (about 15 of them) and wanted a meeting. We were please as punch to host them and they were glad we were there (even though we were all gay - LOL). We made some new friends.

for too much damn food

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Merry F**ing Christmas

2011-12-25T05:39:00.000-06:00

Residents of the Austrian town of F***ing have given up trying to live down their name and are cashing in with a range of Christmas cards.

Locals have given up on trying to discourage visitors from making fun of the name and have instead decided to turn it into an asset.
As well as the sell-out 'F***ing Chrstmas cards', local businesses are also doing a roaring trade with 'F***ing beer' and a range of 'F***ing' souvenirs.
The village's name is understood to come from a sixth century noble called Lord Focko, with 'ing' being old-fashioned German for 'family of'.
Local mayor Franz Meindl had previously complained about tourists flocking to the village to be photographed in front of the 'F***ing' road signs.
He said: "They have been a nuisance for years, some even strip off naked, and the worst steal the 'F***ing' signs. They think its funny but a new 'F***ing' sign is expensive.
"Until the Americans were stationed nearby after the war we didn't even know it had an alternative meaning. It is just the usual spelling of the word for us. I'm sure I could find many town names in Britain or somewhere else which sound funny when pronounced in German.
"There is nothing funny in the name to us. If other people laugh about it, there is nothing we can do. But we pronounce it differently in our dialect and it was never funny in any way."
In the end the village concreted the poles in place and welded the signs in tight to stop them being pinched.
The villagers even had a debate about whether to change the name but decided in the end to keep their name after learning that the nearby German village of W**k had developed a flourishing tourism business.

Jump!

2011-12-24T05:11:00.000-06:00

The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be … because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

the jump is so frightening
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When I was a little girl I would save my money and go to our corner drug store which had, what I thought, was the world’s largest collection of greeting cards. And they were for sale!Bliss.I loved all the images and would take an hour to select one card.Even at eight years old I thought the inside greetings were just plain silly.I would purchase my card, march home and use my dad’s white-strike-out-correcting sheet to set those insides right (had “white out” not yet been invented?). Then it was ready for a personal note and was sent off to some interested family friend or a relative that required a thank you.I was not sure what “precocious” meant but folks always said it in a kind way when they told my mother that’s what I was.

In my early twenties I dreamt of starting my own greeting card company.I would write on the pages of my journal, ”I want to be an artist.”I longed to create a livelihood that had meaning and use my talents and skills in the service of a compelling and inspiring idea.I was certain that I would have to WAIT until I was (eh-hem) really old.Maybe some time in my forties.I thought perhaps by the time I reached the wise age of 45I would have gotten all the education needed and managed to save up enough money to fund my own company.

The rumblings wouldn’t leave.I felt unwilling to wait almost twenty years before I could manifest my dreamI wrote to a man who used to own the kite shop in the small community in which I lived.He knew a lot about how to make things fly…including one’s dreams.I poured my heart out to him in that letter.I told him I realized I didn’t know the first thing about operating a business and I didn’t have a dime to my name.But I KNEW what I wanted to do. And then I wrote, “The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be…because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap.”

I brought the letter to a close and posted it.Soon a photocopy of that letter came back to me.The jump phrase was circled in RED…with his note on the side.“THIS sentence, these words, are the reason you are ready to start your business now.You know everything you need to know…and these words should go on one of your first products.”

They did.

I have heard stories over the years how that particular sentence has been the motivation to move people along and give them the courage to put wings to their dreams.

Ha!Just today I could fold those words into a letter whispered just after these words, “I am on the cusp of a remarkable journey.All the longings of my life have led me to this amazing transition in my experience.”
Ah, yes.Jump.

experience

2011-12-23T05:19:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for ~~boredom~~ serenity

for people with more sober time and experience than this 8+ year alkie. I have so much to learn from their experience; it just boggles my mind sometime.

that I live in a region where we don't have to worry about snow. Or earthquakes. But we do get our share of floods, fires and tornadoes. And heat.

that my next gratitude list will be the day after Christmas. I hope that your experience over the next couple of days is better than you might imagine.

that I'm going to make a concentrated effort to NOT take myself too seriously this weekend

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

- Oscar Wilde

Something to say .......

2011-12-22T05:07:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I own some sober history

that nobody can take away my sobriety or my recovery

for dinner last night with a returner to the rooms of recovery; I hope he never has to be a returner again

that today, I am going to be as happy as I choose to be. I wish the same for you.

by the way -- I was wrong yesterday about being the shortest day of the year. That would be today!

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

- Winston Churchill

FYI

2011-12-21T05:08:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my sense of humor -- many don't care for it and that's OK

for the approaching end to another year on this little blue planet, all of it spent above the grass (again)

for wonderful memories of my childhood at Christmas; decorating the house inside and out and playing Santa Claus every year on Christmas morning (I traditionally handed out the packages to be opened)

for the willingness to put in hard work toward my recovery

that today is the shortest day of the year

With courage you will dare to take risks,
have the strength to be compassionate,
and the wisdom to be humble.
Courage is the foundation of integrity.
- Keshavan Nair

No Hate Zone

2011-12-20T05:17:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a really good meeting on Step 6. It's all about letting go of many past behaviors and thought-patterns so that I can be my best. Every day. I hope that I'll always remember to use this concept for the reminder of my life. If I don't, I stand a relatively good chance of a relapse.

for the design for living offered to me in 12-step recovery

for my spiritual tool box

that many years ago, I removed the word "hate" from my everyday vocabulary. It's so negative and ... and ... hateful. Occassionally I accidentally use it, but often correct myself.

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them:
that's the essence of inhumanity.

- George Bernard Shaw

Week 50

2011-12-19T04:46:00.000-06:00

With Director Alfonso Gomez-Rejon and Musical Director Paul Mirkovich at the helm, T-Mobile surprises shoppers at the Chicagoland area's Woodfield Mall with a surprise performance and updated spin on the holiday classic, "(There's No Place Like) Home For The Holidays."

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a cool weekend. No particular plans out of the ordinary. No stress. Just a nice, slow peaceful couple of days.

for the recovery fellowship that I enjoy being involved with

that I got to see a friend walk through a huge fear and come out without a scratch

Example is not the main thing in influencing others.
It is the only thing.- Albert Schweitzer

An Inspired Life

2011-12-18T06:03:00.000-06:00

The Eight Points of An Inspired Life work together to enable us to take charge of our life and make intentional choices for joyful living.

Consider making these Affirmations of an Inspired Life a part of your daily expression of intent:

• HONOR - I Honor My True Self
• FORGIVENESS - I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion
• GRATITUDE - I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving
• CHOICE - I CHOOSE with Open Mind and Open Heart
• VISION - I Dream with Powerful Intention
• ACTION - I Act with Bold Courage
• CELEBRATION - I Dance with a Light Heart
• UNITY - I Am One With Spirit and All Creation

Here are extended versions of these affirmations.

HONOR:
I Honor My True Self - I grant myself the Honor of being ME. I am unique in all time and space. I am beyond perceived scarcity, obligation, and the need for approval. I am Honored that Spirit has chosen to create ME.

FORGIVENESS:
I Forgive Myself and All Others with Compassion - I forgive everyone, especially myself, for all actions and all inactions throughout my entire life. I accept that no one else has ever been to blame for either my joy or my suffering. The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings is my own emotional response to the events of my life, and I am committed to consistently distinguishing between my feelings about events and the physical occurrence of those events. I declare that everyone who has ever played any role in any of the events of my life is entirely without fault.

GRATITUDE:
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving - I have gratitude for EVERYTHING that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment. I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings, the moments of peace and the flashes of anger, the compassion and the indifference, the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear. I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.

CHOICE:
I CHOOSE with Open Mind and Open Heart - I renounce all assumptions and expectations, and I declare that I will thoughtfully consider all possibilities. I will CHOOSE with courage, awareness, consciousness, and compassion toward all.

VISON:
I Dream with Powerful Intention - Opening my mind to Spirit, I trust my intuition to deliver powerful visions of my inspired future, and I empower my intent to transform those visions into reality.

ACTION:
I Act with Bold Courage - Taking inspiration from the powerful vision of my future, I boldly set sail with courage and intent. I hold my course with focused attention and relentless commitment, as I weather the storms of life.

CELEBRATION:
I Dance with a Light Heart - I play with life, laugh with life, dance lightly with life, and smile at the riddles of life, knowing that life’s only true lessons are writ small in the margin.

UNITY:
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation - I give thanks for the unity of all creation and for EVERYTHING that has brought me to this moment. I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.

by Jonathan Huie

Copper wire

2011-12-17T05:42:00.000-06:00

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: " California archaeologists, finding of 200-year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later, a local newspaper in Texas reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Fort Worth, Fred, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. He has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless."

Just makes a person proud to live in or have lived in Texas doesn't it?

cough, sniffle, cough

2011-12-16T04:52:00.000-06:00

I am NOT a musician and know nothing about music composition.
But this is amazing.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be alive. I am rather ill with this cold. It's got me drained. I even had to leave a meeting before it was over yesterday. It's a little better today.

for my remaining brain cell. And it ain't workin' yet today.
Anyway, that's all I'm gonna write this morning. I hope you enjoy that video above here. I did.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.- Will Rogers

Potpourri Thursday

2011-12-15T05:08:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the ways that I recognize that I'm improving my conscious contact with my HP

that I'm working Step 11 with a sponsee and we have spent at least 4 hours on it, so far, over several weeks. I don't recall ever spending so much time with someone on this step. It's been great! I think I'm getting more out of it than he is.

that I can handle this damn cold I picked up -- sneezing and stopped up head

for my bestest blogger friend, Mary Christine (Being Sober) on her 60th birthday.

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.

- Anonymous

Here, here ...

2011-12-14T04:50:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am an observant person, always have been. At least, I think so. In recovery, people show me who they are by their actions, not their intentions. People share in meetings about how to act and how to react to situations. They let me know what's right and what's wrong. And whenever I am in doubt, I can ......

pray about it.

that I can suit up and show up

for the freedom of choice

Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.

- George Bernard Shaw

No secrets, please

2011-12-13T04:49:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 5 of the A.A. program.

It became my first experience in being able to trust someone with my little secrets.

that I continue to go through the motions of my everyday routines even though I am still mentally and/or emotionally sick. I know it's temporary but it's mighty uncomfortable while it's happening. There must be a reason. I have shared at my home group, but haven't talked to my sponsor about it. Why not? My mind tells me that no one wants to hear about my petty emotional problems so I need to just ride it out. There's nothing I can tell him that I haven't told him before.

for in-my-face reminders about how appreciative I need to be about my more-than-adequate health

that just about everything works out the way it should

Strength does not come from physical capacity.
It comes from an indomitable will.

- Mohandas Gandhi (Mahatma Gandhi)

Monday morning

2011-12-12T05:06:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have friends who show me better ways to live than I could ever think of myself

for the people I get to meet and know in recovery; from all walks of life and they fit just about every description

that I stopped taking amphetamines by the time I was 20. I actually knew that if I were to continue, I'd be in big trouble. It never occurred to me that drinking alcohol (the way I drank it) might cause some problems too.

that I got to be in the Astros dugout and locker room for a few moments on Saturday (of course, it's the offseason and none of the players were around. But still....)

Do not pray for an easier life.
Pray to be a stronger person.

- John F. Kennedy (paraphrase)

Take charge!

2011-12-11T06:13:00.000-06:00

Take Charge of Your Life - 9 Secrets for Getting Un-Stuck
- Jonthan Lockwood Huie

From the way most people live, one would never guess that humans are beings of free will. Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't. The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal. The unending repetition is a conscious choice in the pursuit of a life dream. But what about the sameness of most lives? Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink, the Sunday football game or religious service - how many of those people are consciously following their dream, training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition? And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day out of habit and boredom?

You can take charge of your own life - today. Here are 9 secrets to get you started:

1. Believe in yourself. A daily affirmation may seem to be a silly idea, but give it a try anyway. Write your own affirmation about your abilities, and repeat it each day before you leave your home. Start with the following, and modify it until it fully expresses your commitments, beliefs, and intents.

I am unlimited.
I take responsibility for my life.
My every action is a conscious choice.
I can accomplish anything good that I truly set my mind on.
I keep focus, and persevere.

2. Make peace with your past. In the words of William Shakespeare, "What's done is done." You can't change the past. You can't undo any actions you took or failed to take. Your only choice today is either to waste energy and emotion on regrets and resentments, or to treat your own past like a history book - an interesting, but emotionally neutral, recitation of ancient times.

3. See each day as a new beginning. Don't project your past onto your future. Suppose you won the lottery yesterday, would that mean you will win the lottery again tomorrow? Usually, we are fairly realistic about not expecting a run of good fortune to continue, but when we hit a streak of bad luck, we tend to project that failure into our future and think times will never get better. So you stepped on a banana peel and slipped yesterday, does that mean it will happen again tomorrow? If you got fired or your lover left, it's unfortunate, but there's always tomorrow - a tomorrow that can shine so long as you don't project yesterday's shadow upon it.

4. Look for the best in people. Everyone has good points and bad. Everyone will please you at times and annoy you at others. While there is power in choosing to associate mostly with positive people, there is even more power in seeing the best in everyone. Everyone has a lesson to teach us. Let the impact of an unkind or thoughtless word last only a moment, but bask for a whole day in gentle words and insightful thoughts. The happiest among us have no enemies.

5. Make a gratitude list, and review it often. Not everything has gone well in your life, but much has. Too often we focus on the negative and forget our great blessings - health, friends, family, beauty, nature, our body, our mind, Spirit, life itself. Perhaps you have arthritis or your spouse just moved out. Yes, those are big negatives, but your list, anyone's list, of blessings is vastly larger than any list of problems.

6. Design your future. Visualize being in the future you desire. Make that vision so real you can taste and smell it - a three-dimensional full-color motion picture with surround-sound. That is your goal - your destination. Never forget it - never lose track of it. Let what you do every day be done with that vision in mind. Be the aspiring athlete or musician whose every day moves them one inch closer to that three-minute mile or perfect concerto.

7. Either learn how to enjoy your work, or get a new career. Make a list of what you like and what you dislike about your job. Perhaps you enjoy your customers and co-workers, but find your boss annoying. Limit your awareness of the annoying times to the moment in which they occur, but let thoughts of the service and camaraderie permeate your day. If you find that the frustrations of your job outweigh the enjoyment, get a new career. Whatever your interests, there is a way to do something you enjoy, make a difference in the world, and get well paid at the same time. Make a list of all your interests and abilities, and think big. Don't let anyone else's small and limited thinking deter you from your goal.

8. Enjoy everything you do, or don't do it. Yes, you have to file your taxes and stop at stop signs whether you like it or not. This secret refers to those things you do merely out of habit or to avoid embarrassment. Enjoy that party, or don't accept the invitation. Feel fulfilled by that volunteer committee, or don't join. Believe in that particular charitable cause, or don't contribute. Everything in life is a choice - make wise choices that maximize your happiness.

9. Feel Unity with Spirit and all creation. You are never alone. Your Higher Power, whatever that means to you, is a constant support - never hesitate to ask for guidance and blessing. Remember that Spirit knows better than you what is best for you, so ask for comfort and affluence rather than the affections of a particular person or a higher paying job. Whatever your circumstances, and however often you may have felt rejected, there are many people in this world who live in the tradition of the "Good Samaritan." When troubles weigh upon you, do not hesitate to find and rely upon these people - they are far more numerous than you think.

Advice from an old farmer ...

2011-12-10T05:49:00.000-06:00

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered…...not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don 't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Succinct

2011-12-09T04:55:00.000-06:00

US gay service members march in a gay pride parade for the first time ever.

(Getty Images / Sandy Huffaker)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.

- Amelia Earhart

Basics

2011-12-08T04:51:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAANkful

that I'm sober and doing the recovery thing

that I'll never have to detox (from alcohol) again unless I choose to drink

that I'll never have to deal with (alcoholic) blackouts again unless I choose to drink

that my soul will never have to feel totally empty again

that I won't ever have to deal with trying to hide my drunkeness again

The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds.

- John F. Kennedy

Facts, not Fantasy

2011-12-07T04:56:00.000-06:00

Two lights from the former site of the World Trade Centers shine for the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for reality (not talkin' about any TV show)

for friends in recovery who live in other places. In a relatively short period of time (8+ years) I've had the opportunity to meet so many people in these United States and in other countries. I've got to meet a number of bloggers. I also have a number of friends who have moved from Houston to go live elsewhere.
One of those is staying at our home for a couple of days while he's back in town visiting family.
I can't imagine what lies ahead for the next 8 years, but I'll bet it will be good.

for my sponsor and the example he has always given to me; I am reminded to do the same for my sponsees

that today marks the 7th anniversary of this blog and this is the 3,119th post

and finally, for the heroes and all others who experienced the horrors of Pearl Harbor, Hawaii some 70 years ago, today.

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

I am not an island

2011-12-06T04:41:00.000-06:00

This sightseeing boat, Hama Yuri, was pulled 1300 feet from the coast and somehow balanced itself on a two story house during the tsunami in Japan.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the power of words; but I must be careful to use that power in a positive way

for little reminders that I shouldn't take myself too seriously

for the synchronicity of timelines (the order in which life happens)

that the "blues" I wrote about yesterday are not unique to me. My Roundup Co-Chair is experiencing exactly the same feelings and I spoke to a few of the people who have Co-Chaired in years past and they all (without exception) had the same feelings. Whew!

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.

It's to enjoy each step along the way.

- Wayne Dyer

Weekend lessons

2011-12-05T05:12:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAANkful

for the concept of contempt prior to investigation.

Saturday night, I went to an AA Speaker meeting. The speaker was awoman in her early-to-mid forties with long black hair. I didn't know her, but at first glance she looked like somone trying to relive her early twenties. She talked kind of like a valley girl.

After about 10 minutes, I was almost ready to get up and leave. I have only done this once before in a meeting. Her story was all over the map and hard to follow. But I remained seated and just listened.

It got a little more interesting. By the time she was through an hour later, I was mesmerized. No need for details, but her message was one of despair followed by hope and action. She's now 17 years sober and must be a wonderful influence to many young women early in the recovery.

Thank God I'm still willing to learn.

I had an (emotionally) difficult weekend but didn't bother to tell anyone until last night I mentioned it on Facebook (of all places). I had this terrible feeling of wanting to isolate and to stay away from crowds. I did not attend 3 parties that I planned to attend. I felt like I wouldn't be missed and probably wasn't. I just didn't feel like standing around smiling and trying to be nice.

This too shall pass. I hope today is better.

Happiness isn't at the end of the rainbow.

Happiness is at the beginning of the rainbow.

Following the rainbow is happiness,

not getting to the end of it.

- Werner Erhard

Certain Truths

2011-12-04T06:29:00.000-06:00

Maybe you've gotten this in an email. I did. I think they're good to look at.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work or at home, when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket or finding their cell phone, - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet wasn't used until 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Bad Habits?

2011-12-03T05:12:00.000-06:00

Choose Your Habits, Choose Your Life - 5 Secrets For Breaking Your Bad Habits
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

By nature, we are all creatures of habit. We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities. We eat about the same number of meals each day - at more or less the same times. We have a regular pattern of sleeping - unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work. Most everything we do is habitual.

You probably eat three meals each day, but why? Why not two or five? There is nothing particularly "natural" about our pattern of eating three meals each day - it is just a habit that we share with most of those around us. Actually, a number of studies indicate that eating five smaller meals is more satisfying and healthier than eating three large ones.

You will always have habits - things you do regularly and without conscious thought - but you do have the ability to CHOOSE your habits. Here's how...

1. Begin to pay attention to WHAT you do, WHEN you do it, and WHY you do it. One of the bad habits I fell into was eating a large dish of ice cream in the late evening. Obviously, "ice cream" was the "what," but the "when" was more than just "in the evening." "When" was times I felt stressed, hadn't had a satisfying dinner, or was bored. "Why" was mouth sensation, having something to do with my hands, and sometimes hunger.

2. Keep a journal of the "what", "when," and "why." Make an entry whenever you find yourself doing something that isn't really your choice. You will find that you gain better insight into the "when's" and "why's" as you get more entries in your journal. Soon a pattern will emerge that can enable you to find healthy habits to replace the harmful ones.

3. Look for other activities that would satisfy the "when" and "why." A hot bath for stress, hard candy for mouth sensation, a good book for activity, a warm bowl of soup for real hunger.

4. Make the undesirable activity difficult. Don't keep the cigarettes or ice cream in the house. When ice cream was in my own freezer, it was hard to resist, but when eating a dish of super chocolate chunk required a trip to the convenience store, it was much easier to turn my attention to other activities and a low calorie snack - if any snack at all.

5. Begin new habits not only because you need them to replace unhealthy ones, but also because they are the things you always wanted to do, but couldn't find the time or money. That book club or yoga class makes a great substitute for the eating or smoking, and you can more than pay for your health club membership with what you save on cigarettes.

On a Friday morning ...

2011-12-02T05:04:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to see people get better physically and emotionally and then take care of their lives in ways they have never known

that my goals are so different from my first 2 or 3 years of sobriety. Today, I really want to just be of service in ways I never could have imagined.

that when I'm humble enough to bounce my crazy ideas off someone first, they generally don't bounce at all.

that I'm rarely, if ever, politically correct. I think political correctness is partially responsible for the reduction in morals and health of this country. OK. That's all I'm gonna say about it. Here.

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

- Lewis Carroll

Homebody

2011-12-01T04:58:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the blessed life I've had. I don't write too often about my travels, but I was so lucky for many, many years. My job in the oil & gas industry afforded me the opportunity to work and live in many countries and cultures. From 1988 until 2002 I worked in about 28 countries, many of them for 4 months or longer. This nomadic type of life gave me the chance to get to know the local populations and experience life as they know it. Granted, I was often considered as the rich white man (because I had the money to drink every day and eat at restaurants every day), but I did my best to blend in.

These countries included such wonderful places as Senegal, Nigeria and Mauritania in West Africa. I got to spend time in Egypt and Morocco for several long stretches of time. Namibia and South Africa were 2 of my favorite places to be. Of course, I got to work in many of the European countries. I was based from the UK for years. Mexico, Trinidad and Brasil were also places I lived.

Today, I live in Houston, Texas and am happy to stay home these days.

And Houston is a fantastic place to stay sober. Just like anywhere else.

The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.

- Marcel Proust

Do you identify?

2011-11-30T04:52:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the following excerpts from The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous...

"Cunning, baffling, powerful -- the gradual creeping up of the frequency and quantity of alcohol and what it does to a person is apparent to everyone but the person involved."

"Drink planning became more important than any other plans."

"To wake up at home, not knowing how I got there, and to realize I had driven my car, became torture."

"It was at this stage of my life that resentments came in. Resenting anyone and everyone who might interfere with my personal plans and ways of doing things -- especially for any interference with my drinking -- I was full of self-pity."

There are from pages 350, 351 of the fourth edition. I really identify with these statements.

I'm so glad I don't have to live that way anymore.

The problem with making assumptions

is that we believe they are the truth.

- don Miguel Ruiz

Step 3

2011-11-29T04:40:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the power behind Step 3. We talk about surrendering to win. Well, Step 3 is where this happens (for this alkie). The obsession to drink to get drunk was lifted when and only when I surrendered my drinking life to my newly-conceived Higher Power. I gave up. I was done (Mary Christine wrote about this yesterday). Make no mistake, without that HP which began to develp in Step 2, the lifting of that obsession would never have happened.

And to me, surrender means I don't take it back. It's genuine, it's real, it's sincere. And it's forever (I hope).

for peace of mind in a chaotic world

for my willingness and faith to stay in integrity

that we're finally getting some proper autumn weather and temperatures in these parts, good buddy

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

- Maya Angelou

Exhausted, but very satisfied

2011-11-28T04:47:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for 3 of the best days I've had since I got sober in 2003. I was Co-Chairperson of the 2011 Houston Roundup, a 3 day conference of AA-related workshops, speakers from around the country (and Canada) and other recovery-related events. It was a year-long love affair as we began the planning back in January. By March, we had 21 committee chairs and we were off and running.

I was too busy helping to extinguish little fires (unexpected problems) to attend the workshops. I tried but each time was pulled out to go help with something. I did get to attend all of our speaker meetings and they were, of course, fabulous.

We had 310 registered participants and 54 of those got to attend on financial scholarhips. We raised money all year long by holding fundraisers and unless I'm mistaken, we have finished with a small surplus. This will be donated after ensuring a small prudent reserve.

I am again reminded of the importance of the "WE" of the program. I can't stay sober by myself and I can't chair a large event by myself. It takes a village to raise this 57 year-old man and I'm just fine with that.

Just smiling goes a long way toward making you feel better about life.

And when you feel better about life, your life is better.

- Art Linkletter

Short & Sweet

2011-11-24T04:36:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for all of the blessings bestowed on this world

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

- Zig Ziglar

People

2011-11-23T04:46:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the people in my life ...

who teach me how to act and react

who teach me how not to act and react

who show me how to be friendly, even when I don't want to

who remind me when I'm a little bit off balance

who lead by example

who do more for others than for themselves

who are genuine

who come back

with passion and compassion

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Day # 3000 (and counting)

2011-11-22T05:11:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 2. Me? Insane?

that I didn't give up before I grasped the concept behind this step. I could not (for the life of me) understand why it was necessary to accept a higher power. But then I didn't have any intention of stopping drinking either.

that my insanity takes on slightly different looks today. My thinking can still go "there". If you don't believe me, just ask my partner. He'll be more than happy to expound on this issue.

for the excitement this week at my recovery center (Lambda Center). You can just feel it in the air. It's tangible. The fellowship is ready to celebrate our gratitude.

that I've gone 3000 continuous days without a beer, rum/coke or any other alcohol.
Incredible. Amazing. Higher Power.

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.

- old Persian Proverb

making progress

2011-11-21T04:58:00.000-06:00

The harbour at Agadir, Morocco. I was there in 2002.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for patience

for the ways that life unfolds -- both good and bad. I learn from the bad and just enjoy the good.

that I get a little better at not taking on the problems of others. For me, this takes a lot of conscious effort.

for the Roundup committee that I'm co-chairing. We had our final monthly meeting yesterday. It lasted a full 3.5 hours. Crunch time begins on Thursday afternoon and the conference ends on Sunday. I think we are just about as ready as we can be at this point. There will be things overlooked and there will be mistakes but I am sure it will all work out. What a treat this has been to oversee such a wonderful group of guys and gals.

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

- Mark Twain

Go With the Flow

2011-11-20T05:33:00.000-06:00

Most unhappiness comes from resisting life. Occasionally, we have such a strong commitment to changing the world order that it is worth struggling against the flow of life. Perhaps you have a cause such as universal veganism - your life is committed to preventing even one more animal from being eaten by anyone. But most people don't have that kind of dedication to a cause, and even for those who do, there is much of daily life that is not related to any particular issue of principle. Nonetheless, we live our lives as if each minor happening were a matter of life and death.

Our favorite restaurant has run out of today's blackboard special. The bananas in the grocery store are all green. The drawbridge is stuck in the "up" position. We have demands of the world, these demands aren't met, and we become disappointed and angry. Is that just human nature? Yes and no. It is human nature to prefer the predictable, but this preference becomes highly exaggerated in some societies. Twenty First Century America, especially in dense urban areas, has become the epitome of expectations and demands, which inevitably result in disappointment and anger as the world fails to meet these expectations. Demanding that the world meet our expectations has become a bad habit that causes great unhappiness. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can break the bad habit of being unhappy.

Think of life being like a mighty river, such as the Mississippi or the Amazon. Sometimes the river floods, sometimes it quiets. Sometimes it cuts a new course, drowning some farmland and leaving some old river bottom high and dry. One could fight the river and curse its vicissitudes, or one could sail on the river, fish in the river, drink from the river, irrigate crops from the river, and live happily on the river. Fighting against life, like fighting against a mighty river is a pointless waste of energy and upset. Within the constraints life sets and within its vagaries, we still have immense freedom of action. We can fully express our commitments and live life to the fullest without fighting against it.

To go with the flow of life, without compromising your values:

1. Visualize life as a river, and the challenge of living as being a river pilot. Keep your eye far enough downstream that you can gently maneuver toward your goal using the force of the river to power your journey. Think of setting your course as the game that it is. Outthink life, but don't try to overpower it.

2. Remember that life is not serious. You already know the final score: Life-1, You-0. So just have fun on your run down the river.

3. Take time for yourself. Breathe deeply. Take a quiet walk. Spend time alone in a natural setting and soak up the stillness.

4. Clear your mind of everything you thought you knew. Be like a child in having no preconceptions of how life should turn out. Visualize pouring water into a cup. That's like life flowing into a young child. Now visualize trying to pour clear water into a cup filled with mud. That is like the flow of creation being resisted by expectations and demands one attempts to place upon life.

5. Be grateful for all of life. Be thankful you are alive. Not to be thankful for life is to be like a starving person who is gifted a steak and complains that it is tough.

6. Dance lightly with life. Dancing with life is like dancing with an elephant. She makes a jolly partner so long as you watch her moves, react quickly, and don't get stepped on.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dream!

2011-11-19T05:28:00.000-06:00

Dare to dream of your great success
- Mary Anne Radmacher

dare to dream of your great success.
become intimate with those things which
deeply motivate you and regularly work
toward the realization of that mission.

At 28 years I traveled out of the country. Alone. In London. My bed and breakfast was filled with accents from all over the world and my ear was not yet trained to the unique inflection spoken in the Queen’s English. My second day there I intended to purchase one ticket for LES MISERABLES (it had opened the October before). Between jet lag and my language challenge I accidentally purchased two.

It took some amount of negotiating to persuade the young intellectual from Germany to be my guest at that night’s performance. While he insisted that musicals were frivolous and a waste of time, he thriftily concurred that not using my second ticket would be a waste of money.

That night both our world views shifted. As Fantine wept over her lost love and life in I DREAMED A DREAM, the heart in my guest was breaking. I resolved: never to be so achingly in the grasp of regret. The music became my soundtrack for many years. I cannot speak of the standing of his life but I know that night he was the first to stand to his feet as the curtain began its close. Hands above his head he was weeping for the wonder. He saw that what he had thought was one thing (frivolous musicals) was something else entirely.

And so it was for Susan Boyle, an almost 48 year old English woman who’s never been kissed, and lives alone with her cat. As she competed on BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT the somewhat cynical judges balked as she answered Simon Cowell’s, “What’s the dream?” with, “I want to become a professional singer.” Who in the audience didn’t laugh?

Somewhat nervous, rather awkward and no apparent stitch of make up on her face she waited for the music to begin. She began to sing. The audience registered audible and visual surprise. Like my reluctant guest their assessment of one thing turned out to be something else entirely. As when any person is completely engaged with their passion, Susan transformed as I watched. Her dream enlivened her and took away any sense of nervousness.

As the audience stilled and returned from their leaping feet to their seats…I was reminded of the wisdom of George Eliot (aka Mary Ann Evans) who courageously embraced her dream and passion saying, “It is never too late to become who you might have been.” Said another way, “Continue to live toward your dream – the ultimate embrace of it will be worth your journey.”

3 P's

2011-11-18T05:08:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for progress
for patience

for persistence

Those 3 traits have made up my life since I was a kid. They come and go at various times and different degrees, but they're always present.

You?

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.

Play as often as you can.

Work as smart as you are able.

Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.

- Mary Anne Radmacher

my mind is blank

2011-11-17T05:01:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm sober and happy

that I don't have to manage anybody's life except mine and a lot of that I try to leave to my HP

for the wisdom of old timers and the lessons from newcomers

that's about all I can do this morning. Later.

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Changing me

2011-11-16T04:56:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for awareness of the way I've changed over the years. I can look back on my 33 years of drinking and see the progression of my disease. I see how it quickly became the most important part of every day regardless of whether I was actively drinking yet that day.

I no longer drink alcohol. Amazing.

Since I stopped drinking, the evolution of my understanding of a Higher Power still amazes me. If you knew how negative I was about spirituality and God before I came into AA, you would understand what I mean.

I've changed in that I am usually no longer afraid of people. I have trained myself to greet strangers at the AA clubhouse I attend. It's still a little scary sometime, but I tell myself that it's part of my recovery from isolation. Just do it, David.

I enjoy doing things for others. No longer am I only concerned with what I can take away from a situation, but it's important for me to leave some recovery on the table.

My temper seems to be in check. From day number one of sobriety, I almost never raise my voice any more. This is a new me!

We cannot change anything until we accept it.

- Carl Jung

Recovery things

2011-11-15T04:42:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the 12 steps

that A.A. offers me a wonderful design for living

to know that sobriety does not give me instant manageability; there's alot of work required

for questions from non-alkies who are curious about recovery. I was asked why I still go to meetings. The simple answer is so I can stay sober. But it's really much more than that.

I go to meetings ...
... to learn more about recovery
... to be reminded of everything I have already forgotten about recovery
... to help others with my experience, strength and hope
... because all of my friends are in recovery
... what else would I do? Stay home?

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

potpourri

2011-11-14T04:57:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a peaceful, easy weekend. It included breakfasts and dinners with friends in recovery. It included running around with a friend in recovery looking at outdoor markets and plants. It included a speaker meeting whre a friend in recovery related her story of what it was like and what happened. Her very personality transmits what it's like now.

that I rarely over-analyze things. I like things simple.

that I haven't (yet) caught a flu-type bug that seems to be going around town.

that NatGeo Channel played March of the Penguins last night. One of my favorite films to just sit back and enjoy. Morgan Freeman has such a great narrator voice.

It is not the man who has too little,
but the man who craves more, that is poor.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Gratitude

2011-11-13T05:51:00.000-06:00

Zero-Based Gratitude

Perhaps you have heard of zero-based budgeting as a technique for governments, businesses, and occasionally individuals. Zero-based budgeting is in contrast to traditional incremental budgeting. In incremental budgeting, one starts with the budget for the last year, or other period, and prepares a budget for the next period based on the budget for the last period - incorporating whatever increases, or very occasionally decreases, are deemed appropriate.

Zero-based budgeting begins with a base-line of no expenditures, rather than the base-line of last year's expenditures. Each and every proposed expense must be justified on its own merits rather that falling back on the argument that it was in the last year's budget, and that everybody expects and demands it.

Most people's gratitude is incremental gratitude. If they receive a raise, a bigger house, a third car, a new love interest, or a healthy new baby, they are grateful. If they lose their job, are forced to downsize, have a tiff with their spouse, or have an illness in the family, they are disappointed and angry. Why disappointed and angry? Because they have not been blessed with as much today as they were yesterday.

Suppose our gratitude could be zero-based gratitude. With zero-based gratitude, we would be grateful for everything we had each day - regardless of whether it was more or less than yesterday. With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful for a warm comfortable one-bedroom apartment, even if I had a four bedroom house yesterday. I can be grateful for being able to walk, even if I could run yesterday. I can be grateful for all the people, the love, the food, the shelter, the services, the health, that I am blessed with today, regardless of what I had yesterday. With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful each day for the gift of life itself.

Whoa!

2011-11-12T05:34:00.000-06:00

World's Fastest rollercoaster

150 mph

click here or here

eleven eleven eleven

2011-11-11T05:11:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for One's

today's date

the first step

my first year of sobriety

my first sponsee

my first girlfriend

my first sexual experience

my first drinking experience

What can you add to this list?

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Also, I can't forget that it's Veterans Day.

My fellow Americans,
ask not what your country can do for you;
ask what you can do for your country.
- John F. Kennedy

meow!

2011-11-10T04:44:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I keep hearing about the insanity of alcoholic behavior.

that I keep seeing the insanity of alcoholic behavior.

that I don't gamble with my sobriety. I no longer have any business in a bar, no matter how spiritually fit I may think I am.

to be able to (sometimes) live one day at a time. I was watching a show on National Geographic channel and they talked about the Earth ending in 5 billion years. How are we supposed to plan for this? What should I be doing to prevent this?

for Al Anon meetings. LOL (see above)

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.- Dolly Parton

Just me

2011-11-09T04:42:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that while it may take a few times for me to really hear something I need to hear, it finally happens when it needs to. A number of times this has been true since I got sober.

I've read the 4th edition of the big book several times, front to back. Including the stories. Yesterday, my 6:30am group read "Student Of Life" starting on page 319. The writer describes her drinking in this fashion:

"When I was drinking, I was okay. I understood. Everything made sense. I could dance, talk, and enjoy being in my own skin. It was as if I had been an unfinished jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing: as soon as I took a drink, the last piece instantly and effortlessly snapped into place."

Damn, that was me! I have never been able to accurately put into words what getting drunk did for me. But that's just what it did for me. I became a different person. Someone I liked.

Since getting sober, I've had to use the steps to learn how to live sober and happy. To be comfortable in my own skin.

AA works for me as long as I work for it. Have a lovely day, y'all.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.

- The Buddha

I'll begin with a bit of humor ...

2011-11-08T04:48:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it's the month of gratitude

that it's really, really difficult to be angry and grateful at the same time

that a day doesn't go by when I don't think and/or write about being grateful for who I am today;
this blog is part of that gratitude

that I'm never going to run for public office. Never.

The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.

- Neale Donald Walsch

It's Monday Again!

2011-11-07T04:38:00.000-06:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that some of the feelings I had in early sobriety are no longer part of my life. Mainly I'm talking about the things that made me want to isolate. I rarely feel "less than" any more. I don't feel "left out" much any more.
But even if I do, I don't feel the need to isolate.
If you've never experienced these feelings I doubt you can understand how pervasive they can be.

They absolutely dominated my thinking at times. Progress.

that my position as co-chairperson of the 2011 Houston Roundup has become pretty intense. I began this role back in January and we've had very smooth sailing all year. But the event nears (Thanksgiving weekend) and as everything is coming together, the details seem never-ending and are important to pay attention to.
This Roundup is a conference of about 300 people in recovery for 3 days.

I can't wait for it to begin.

And end.

that I was treated to an afternoon at the Texans-Browns football game (we won 30-12)

Gardening is all about optimism.

~~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Living in the Moment

2011-11-06T06:07:00.000-06:00

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment - How To Be Happy Today And Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Are you feeling stressed and upset? If so, you are worrying about tomorrow. Events that have already occurred may cause you regret, but they only appear to cause worry. If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job - that already happened. You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job. Those are worries about tomorrow.

Worrying is just a natural human emotion, and everyone worries, right? Actually not. Worry is a bad habit that most people acquire, and like all habits, can be broken.

When you worry about what may or may not occur in the future, you miss the joy that is available today - each and every day. So is the answer to focus only on today, and let tomorrow take care of itself? That sounds good - until tomorrow arrives and you are not prepared.

It's a paradox. How does one balance living in the now with preparing responsibly for the future? The key to this dilemma lies in the distinction between "worrying about the future," and "preparing for the future." The two concepts are not at all the same.

There are two aspects to preparing for the future. The one that is more familiar to most people is planning. You know the mortgage is due next week so you save the money - You know you want to fit into your clothes tomorrow, so you forgo that second helping. Planning for the future is fully compatible with living joyfully today.

The other aspect of preparing for the future is accepting that things will probably not turn out the way you plan. Creating this acceptance of life's uncertainties is much more challenging than formulating and following through on plans.

The source of most worry is a lack of acceptance of the uncertainties of the future. When one fully lives a life of acceptance, life's vagaries are not merely tolerated, but are enjoyed because they are life's gifts. If one is religiously inclined, whatever life delivers is a gift from the Creator. If one holds other beliefs, then whatever happens is just what there is to work with - so why not enjoy it.

The recipe for a joyful life is planning and preparing for the future, while simultaneously accepting that you hold virtually no control over future events. By placing no demands on the future, you can enjoy whatever it brings.

Pay It Forward

2011-11-05T05:31:00.000-05:00

Pay It Forward - as an Expression of Universal Gratitude

While many of us recognize the expression "Pay It Forward" from the 2000 movie of that name, the concept is an ancient one. Benjamin Franklin described the process:

I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro' many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.

The actual words "pay it forward" are used to describe this sequence by Robert Heinlein in a 1951 novel - perhaps the first use of this phrase.
We have reason to have infinite gratitude to the Universe for everything we have and everything we are, yet we cannot repay the Universe. We have gratitude for our distant ancestors, yet cannot repay them. We have gratitude to our parents for our very life, and to our parents or other caregivers for our nurture, yet we cannot repay them in kind. We may have many other gratitudes that, for one reason or another, cannot be repaid to those who were so generous to us.
Pay It Forward. Gift future generations in proportion to our gratitude. The nature of life is that we pay forward our biological creation and nurture. Our parents gift us with life and nurture, and we gift our children with life and nurture. While this much is essential to continued human existence, choose to take "pay it forward" farther - much farther.
Consider making "pay it forward" a way of life. As we have observed many times, expectation (demand) is always a cause of suffering. Rather than "expecting" to be repaid when we "loan" something to someone, consider the "loans" we make to be forward payments for the "loans" we received from our ancestors, nurturers and others. Request that any "loan" that we make be repaid FORWARD, when the recipient is able, and then completely forget about the "loan."
It is no longer our business if, when, or how the "loan" is repaid - or is not repaid.

IT

2011-11-04T04:54:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that IT was possible for me to find a Higher Power

that IT was possible for me to stop drinking alcohol

that IT is possible for me to stay stopped

that IT is possible for me to pass along the message

that IT is possible for me to do the next right thing

that IT is possible not to make this list go on and on and on ...

It always seems impossible until its done.

- Nelson Mandela

Things I like

2011-11-03T05:01:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have the honor (once again) of chairing a Wednesday noon-time AA speaker meeting. This means I get to choose the person who will be qualifiying/telling part of their story. I really enjoy getting to do this. I have some really fine lads and lassies lined up for the month.

for some excellent test results. I was diagnosed with Peripheral Artery Disease in 2005. My symptoms are in my legs (calves) and is mostly noticeable when I walk long distances (15 minutes or more). Since 2006 I have spent a lot of time on treadmills and eliptical machines with very beneficial results.

In the last 2 weeks, I had my annual ultrasound testings and got the good results yesterday. My doctor tells me to just keep doing what I'm doing, especially not smoking
(which was the cause in the first place).

that I enjoy being busy, but dislike feeling overwhelmed. Finding that just right medium is elusive for me.

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.

- Henry David Thoreau

Repeating myself

2011-11-02T04:59:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my imagination still runs wild but I don't remember much.
that my imagination still runs wild but I don't remember much.

for clarity of thought. for clarity of thought.

that I love being a sober man. that I love being a sober man.

for sage advice from sagists. for sage advice from sagists.

that I will record my 300,000th visitor on this blog this morning.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.

Rabindranath Tagore

11-1-11

2011-11-01T04:56:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for people who are real; those with integrity

for people with a sober history; I like to hear them talk

for people who walk the talk; they teach me how to act

for people who don't take themselves too seriously; they make me comfortable

You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.

- Carl Jung

Change.

2011-10-31T04:56:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we made a large amount of money in our last fundraiser for the Houston Roundup. This will be a tremendous help in covering costs.

for those who live through their alcoholic bottom. Some aren't so lucky. The rest of us have a chance.

for the way my recovery is evolving. One day at a time. I don't think I could handle two days at a time.

that I know so little. Otherwise, I might be dangerous.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.

- Mark Twain

Giving Advice

2011-10-30T06:06:00.000-05:00

Meddling - 5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Offering Helpful Advice
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Again, I found myself meddling in the affairs of others. All too often my intention to be supportive and generous runs amok. In the aftermath, I tell myself that I will never do that again, but I do. Actually, I wouldn't want it any other way. The line between "helpful" and meddling is so easy to cross. The only way that I could ensure that I never meddled would be to completely disavow being helpful.

Byron Katie speaks of "my business, your business, and God's business." Everything that happens in the world, or doesn't happen, is NOT my responsibility. There are more than enough things that are my responsibility. I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions - and that is enough. It does not serve me to mind anyone else's business. I can only make myself unhappy by trying to second guess what anyone else thinks or does.

That's all easy enough to say in the abstract, but when the other person is our friend, spouse, parent, adult son or daughter, or co-worker, it doesn't come at all naturally to remain detached. For many of us, staying in our own business requires a lifetime of self-reminders.

Often we meddle out of a sincere desire to help another, so how can we know when we have gone too far? We have overstepped our bounds whenever we cross the line from assisting others in getting what they want to believing that we know better than they what they SHOULD want.

Through painful experience, I have found five questions to ask myself to help determine whether I am providing assistance or meddling.

1. Did the other person ask for help, advice, or opinion? If the answer is No, then I am meddling. The first and greatest rule is,
Unsolicited Advice Is Always Meddling

2. Even if the person has broadcast a request for help or advice, did they ask for MY advice? When someone is drowning, they will accept a life-ring thrown by a stranger, but advice is only appreciated if the asker fully trusts and respects the advisor.

3. Do I fully respect the other person? While I can responsibly make decisions for a child or a senile person, it is pure meddling for me to believe that I know better than another competent adult how they should live their life. As an example, trying to find friends for someone who has clearly expressed a preference for solitude is meddling.

4. Is the issue a question of belief? Proselytizing is always meddling. My beliefs about religion, politics, the best natural supplements, or whatever, are just my personal beliefs, nothing more. If someone ASKS, I am happy to share about what gives my own life joy and meaning, but whenever I attempt to convert someone else's beliefs, I must be very clear that I am doing it for my own gains, and not as a service to the other.

5. Have I previously attempted to assist this person with this same issue in the past? If I have been asked again, and if I find a different way to be helpful, it's not meddling, but if I continually offer the same advice for the same problem, it crosses the line into meddling.

Compassion and generosity may well be the greatest human virtues, but it is also important to avoid letting these noble instincts cause inadvertent harm to those we want to help.

Laurel & Hardy

2011-10-29T05:35:00.000-05:00

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

2011-10-28T04:52:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday Liz.

We had some great times together and I'll never forget them.

Unless I lose my memory, of course.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the people who I will look back on and say, "I'm sure glad I got to meet ____."

that I stay so damn busy. It's much better than the alternative. For the past month or so, my cellphone battery is run down by mid-day and needs recharging. I find this to be amazing for someone who is retired.

for the change in weather. We can sure use a break from 85-90 degree temperatures.

that I get to act silly tomorrow night on stage in a drag show performance. I'm NOT a performer, but allow myself to do these things in order to help raise money.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.

- Carl Jung

It's Just You and Us

2011-10-27T04:42:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have so much gratitude for my life these days. If you would have told me before I got sober, that my life would look anything like this in a few years, I would have gone ahead and just drink myself to death. I could not have imagined living sober. I had no idea what it might even be like.

Why? Why would anyone want to not drink?

for the "we" of the program. I couldn't do this thing alone.

that I had a nice visit with my sponsor. When we get together, it's always a nice visit. We connect.

for the common sense knowledge that action is necessary for me to make improvements in my life

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.

- Henry Ford

I'm not giving up

2011-10-26T04:40:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I didn't give up 5 minutes before the miracle. This has a lifelong lesson for me.

for relationships. There are so many, but to name just a few ...

... my family (small as it is)

... my life partner

... my friends and acquaintances in recovery

... Houston drivers and other drivers everywhere

Bill W. and the first 100 wrote that most alkies don't have a clue about how to have a successful relationship. I tend to agree with this. When I began drinking alcoholically at age 16, my emotional maturity slowed to a crawl. I missed out on opportunities to learn how to successfully enjoy the company of others. Most of my relationships involved drinking or drug use or sex. I rarely had time for other people.

Fast forward to sobriety at the age of 49. All of a sudden, I don't drink or take drugs or have crazy, anonymous sex. I have a partner. My emotional maturity that slowed down at the age of 16 has barely developed over the decades.

Now, I'm 57 and feel like an infant as to how to have good relations with the world. Sobriety/recovery is offering me the chance to develop as a functioning, mature man. Maybe by the time I'm 80 or so, I'll be better at this thing.

Until then, I will just keep trying. I won't give up 5 minutes before the miracle.

When you get into a tight place

and everything goes against you,

till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer,

never give up then, for that is just

the place and time the tide will turn.

- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Oh yeah, I remember that first day

2011-10-25T04:53:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had only the 2nd first-time newcomer at the 6:30am meeting yesterday. This is rare, I guess because someone contemplating their first AA meeting is usually not awake by that time. Or else they're just going to bed. Understandably, he was nervous and he said so. He looked weak. He shared that he sometimes can't stop crying. He got a DUI just last week. Sound familiar?

that I haven't had the jitters (aka DT's) in 8 years

that I gained an appetite shortly after stopping drinking

for miracles -- big & small, noticed and unnoticed

for one-liners

Two things are infinite:

the universe and human stupidity;

and I'm not sure about the universe.

- Albert Einstein

Taking inventory

2011-10-24T05:03:00.000-05:00

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for first step meetings in A.A. It's a tradition at the clubhouse of which I'm a member that whenever there's a first-time newcomer, we have a first step meeting. I mostly love these. But it sometimes amazes me how self-centered some folks can get when they share about their drinking experience(s) instead of saying something that a person with a big hangover might actually understand. Well, I suppose I shouldn't be so judgemental. I have a lot of work to do on me and it needs to be done before I can fix everybody else. LOL

that my Higher Power allows me to screw up as much and as often as I wish. Occasionally I even learn from my mistakes.

that I get to stick around, stay sober and see changes in so many people

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.

- Nelson Mandela

In ...

2011-10-23T05:33:00.000-05:00

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have however been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends and family.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I've also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to Visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

Once I was in Dispensible but I'm not allowed to even visit there anymore.

Choosing Habits

2011-10-22T05:13:00.000-05:00

higher powered

chillin'

Cats & People

You can get there from here ...

I've been there before ...

The 60's

Happy Friday!

potpourri ...

round and round

Conscious Contact

Going my way?

BFF

The Dog Who Came toDinner

Finite Friday

remember when ...

moving right along ...

Hey! You're back!

Moving on .......

Secret to a GREAT Relationship?

Wrong!

FALSE PREDICTIONS

FRI the 13th

today's report .....

Taking nothing for granted

8 & 9

Back to writin'

Me? A Versatile Blogger?

Feeling Sad?

Continued to take personal inventory

Some things go without saying (you won't find them here)

Important stuff

Feelings. Ugh!

Here we go .........

My Wish For You in 2012 ...

Gone in 2011

Going, going ...

As a sober man ...

OK, everybody wait your turn...

Got caption?

just another day ...

Merry F**ing Christmas

Jump!

the jump is so frightening- Mary Anne Radmacher

experience

Something to say .......

FYI

No Hate Zone

Week 50

An Inspired Life

Copper wire

cough, sniffle, cough

Potpourri Thursday

Here, here ...

No secrets, please

Monday morning

Take charge!

Advice from an old farmer ...

Succinct

Basics

Facts, not Fantasy

I am not an island

Weekend lessons

Certain Truths

Bad Habits?

On a Friday morning ...

Homebody

Do you identify?

Step 3

Exhausted, but very satisfied

Short & Sweet

People

Day # 3000 (and counting)

making progress

Go With the Flow

Dream!

3 P's

my mind is blank

Changing me

Recovery things

potpourri

the jump is so frightening
- Mary Anne Radmacher