Monday, October 31, 2005

Old & Constipated

pumpkin - old and constipated

Grateful for Life in all its forms

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful Saturday filled with my own recovery and that of others

for the really helpful 10th Step meeting at 6:30am today

that my Mom did not die yesterday after a series of strokes

that, because I AM SOBER, I can be there for her and attend to her needs

for calls from friends in recovery from people concerned

that I am now off to the hospital,

I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.
-Booker T. Washington

Sunday, October 30, 2005

For Texans only

One of the blogs I read daily is downtownlad. He usually has a keen outlook on issues, both in his native NYC and also around the world. In THIS POST he provides a bit of an insult to us Texans. You may want to add your comment to his post about the Texas Gay Marriage Amendment. I tried to take the high road.

But sometimes I take the bait.

It Works When You Work It

I don't detail my individual days on here very often, but yesterday provided a nice range of activity for me and I thought I'd share it with you.

Went to my regular AA meeting at 8:30am. People who go to a Saturday morning meeting are serious about recovery. At the core of that group are about 25 regulars. We can count on each other to be there unless someone may be out of town or otherwise preoccupied for some reason. I have not missed that meeting since August 2003, the month before I quit drinking.

I came home and did my computer stuff and then ran a couple of errands around Montrose. I had volunteered my time for an afternoon workshop -- "Surviving the Holidays Sober." It was held at The Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston . I was to be there early to help set-up the room. They gave me a large box of homemade cookies and asked me to display them and other cakes and pies on the tables. The display queen in me came out and I had fun with it. About 1pm we all started eating the generous snacks and the workshop began at 1:30pm. There were about 30 recovering alcoholics in attendance and we came up with some creative ideas on staying sober with family, friends and work buddies for the next 2 months when everyone around us is drinking. This was a worthwhile activity and certainly helpful to those who've never faced sobriety during the holidays. When I departed, I dropped by Lambda Center to check out the decorating-in-progress for the Halloween Party slated for the evening. They were nearly finished and I just stayed out of the way. I did get to chat with a few friends before I went home.

One of our friends, Brian, was celebrating his First AA Birthday. His sponsor invited about 10 of us to join in his birthday dinner at a small Mexican restaurant. We all met there at 5:30pm and had great food and fellowship. Brian's parents were there and that was really special to have them present. I always think of this type of thing as a living amends. I know that I, during my drinking days, always took my parents for granted. Parents are people too.

Birthday Night @ Lambda Center is held on the last Saturday of the month. It's special. Really special. Last night, there were 35 people celebrating AA birthdays ranging from 1 year to 32 years of sobriety. They are each provided with their chip/medallion, a certificate and then give a short (hopefully) speech about their gratitude. I would guess there were about 120 in attendance last night for this event. Some were in full costume for ...

... The Halloween Party which began after Birthday Night was over. Great costumes. Creative costumes. People dancing to good music. I left early because this old boy was tired at 10pm. I took no pictures this time because I have another illness ... ISM. Incredibly Short Memory.

I forgot my camera!

But I did stay sober.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking ...

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I needed to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."

author unknown

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Halloween Smiles

pumpkin - cannibal pumpkin - burger
cannibal pumpkin ..................... pumpkin burger

Amateur Art

my latest attempts at spray painting

Friday, October 28, 2005

Ghosts of the Past

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I added another day to my sobriety calendar

that I can see, hear, smell, taste and feel

that my ghosts are only a memory and shall remain so

that I'm not a goblin

that, wow man, my mannerisms can be manly

that I love so much coffee just about any time of the day

for my kitty cats

for doing 2 more paintings

for a busy upcoming Saturday

that I keep trying to improve my conscious contact with my HP

If you don't run your own life, someone else will.
-John Atkinson

Chicago Love Machine

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is really happy to have won the World Series. They had great "chemistry" on that team this year.
White Sox in love

5 Beautiful Things

1. the Swiss Alps from 35,000 feet in January
2. Hayden's eyes
3. the life in my elderly mother
4. leading a sober life
5. gaining a modicum of spirituality

How about you? What's beautiful to you?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

all black & white todAAy. just clowning around.

One, Two, Three Strikes ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

a full day of serenity yesterday

that Scott and I done got us some Hallyween stuff for Saturday night

that I ain't never sprained my ankle while wearing high heels shoes

for the 10 of us who ate lunch at Barnaby's/Fairview yesterday

that when I practice Step 10 of Alcoholics Anonymous, my side of the street stays clean as a whistle

that through Step 10, my resentments simply become life's lessons

that I am as honest as I know how to be (without hurting others)

that I can occasionally be of assistance to others

that I got to see, hear and experience The Astros finally making it to The Show. The World Series. They were beaten by a better team, playing better ball while on a hot streak.

for all the supportive words about The Astros sent here by you guys over the past week

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

2005 Houston Astros - R.I.P.

"I have to believe in a little bit of destiny and it was theirs this year."
CRAIG BIGGIO after his team lost the World Series in a 4 game sweep

My Houston Astros lost the 2005 World Series. In four straight games. If you're from Houston, you can't be too upset, not if you've been a fan of the team since their inception in 1962. Frankly it was just a thrill to see them involved for the first time.

Ricky!! , a fellow Houston blogger, said he thinks they overachieved this year. I respectfully disagree. My feeling is that they are achievers.

They began the season, the first 2 months, playing terribly. By the end of May, the Astros were 15-30. They'd lost twice as many games than they had won. Here's a team of proven players that can't get it together. If anything, they were underachieving.

From June (actually late May) they began winning. And win they did. They put together the 2nd best home record in the major leagues. They even started winning on the road. By the All-Star break in July, they had improved their record to .500 (same number of wins as losses). This trend continued until they found themselves in The World Series.

The roster includes at least 4 guys who will probably be in the Baseball Hall of Fame one day. Most of the remaining roster includes a lot of talent, both pitching and hitting. Most of all, they were part of something special in Houston teams, something called character and integrity. It's an intangible that can't be put on paper. Neither can it be paid for as part of a multi-million dollar salary. You either got it or you don't. Historically, The Astros have character and a never-give-up attitude.

So, Ricky!! , I can't agree. They didn't overachieve all year nor did they underachieve all year.
They just achieved. They're right where they are supposed to be.

P.S. - Congratulations to the Chicago White Sox. This years' team of destiny.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I seem to have lived another day

todAAy, i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I didn't drink, nor have any desire to drink alcohol yesterday

that my desire to just Live & Let Live gives me so much freedom

for those periods during my day when I can really practice Step 3

that doing the next right thing can become a habit

that we are having the finest weather possible --- 45F - 75F degrees every day and few clouds

for long chats with Hayden on the internet

that I can no longer blame my problems on others

that I was able to watch the entire 5 hours, 41 minutes of The Astros game last night; they lost it all on their own and have no one to blame but themselves


The Year in Hurricanes

CLICK HERE to see NASA's version of the year in hurricanes.

courtesy of JJ.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Primary Purpose

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to realize that my progress in recovery doesn't happen at my pace or my sponsor's pace; it seems to happen as my HP wants it to

"Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety" -- I have realized 2 changes to this statement ...
1) (from the old days) "My primary purpose was to stay drunk and help others to achieve inebriation"
2) "My primary purpose is to stay sober by helping others achieve sobriety"

fer gettin' stuff done yesterday

for some very nice time spent with a new friend

that we ate at The Black Eyed Pea - it's been years since I ate there

that my cats are generally very well-behaved

that I can keep reminding myself that things that aren't my business, aren't my business

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
-Lucille Ball

Multi-Tasking Men

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Chili Recipe

Now that the weather is geting cooler, it's time for a fine bowl of chili.

I don't cook.
But I do eat.

I happen to possess the instructions on how to make the best bowl of chili you will ever have. I posted this recipe last December12, so just click below and scroll down to get it.

This is the very best I've ever had.

Monday, October 24, 2005

No Victims

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a whole lot of peace and serenity in my life

to be able to shape, structure and build a new life as God would have it rather than the way I used to do it (this requires very slow progress)

that our little garden at Lambda is coming along nicely

for the kind of weather that's great; otherwise known as perfect

that I got to attend a 67th birthday party for a friend in recovery

that I am not meant to isolate - I once enjoyed the fellowship in bars, now I enjoy the fellowship in recovery

for wonderful fellowship at home with others in recovery while we watched The Astros first-ever World Series appearance

that, for me, even if The Astros don't win this series, that's OK because I would rather have been and lost than to never have gone at all (but I'd still much rather win it)

that Craig Biggio's wife was not seriously injured by a White Sox fan last night

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Back home

I've really enjoyed watching the first 2 games of the series. The Astros have lost them both, but they were close and the outcomes could have easily gone the other way.

They have nothing to be ashamed of.

One stupid Chicago fan has something to be ashamed of. He assaulted Astros second baseman Craig Biggio's wife as she left the stadium last night. He was arrested and will be charged with battery. For some people, winning is just not enough. I'm sure his Mom is proud. Oh well.

My boys are back home for 3 games and need to GIT 'ER DONE!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

This Old Whore House

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God willing

As electrical activity continues to occur inside my skull despite decades of behavior that should have discontinued it, I've had this thought ...

from everything that I've heard, and from what I believe (at this time in my life), my God or Higher Power was always there for me. I usually didn't realize it, but He was there, always looking out for me. He also gave me the freedom to do what I wanted to do; good or bad. But I wanted nothing to do with a God in my life.

Thus, when I hear people say, "God willing ... I can do this" or "God willing ... that won't happen to you", I don't quite understand. I believe that God (as I understand Him) has always been willing. He's always been there. It was I who was not willing to believe. It was I who was not there for Him.

Just a thought running through my head.
Have a GREAT day!
God willing.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Git 'er done, boys

Game Matchup Day Date Time ET TV
Gm 1 HOU 3 @ CWS 5 Sat Oct. 22 7:30 pm FOX
Gm 2 HOU 6 @ CWS 7 Sun Oct. 23 7:30 pm FOX
Gm 3 CWS @ HOU Tue Oct. 25 8 pm FOX
Gm 4 CWS @ HOU Wed Oct. 26 8 pm FOX
Gm 5* CWS @ HOU Thu Oct. 27 8 pm FOX
Gm 6* HOU @ CWS Sat Oct. 29 7:30 pm FOX
Gm 7* HOU @ CWS Sun Oct. 30 7:30 pm FOX
* - if necessary


Maybe it's just me.

Why are the cables that connect keyboards, mouses and printers to a CPU so damn short? I've had numerous computers since 1985. It seems like those 3 cables are never long enough, thus forcing me to put equipment where I don't really want it to be.

Maybe it's just me.

(this should be filed under HIGH-CLASS PROBLEMS)

Friday, October 21, 2005

Courage to Progress

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for an increasing ability to take things slowly instead of rushing into everything head first

for people and events my HP has inserted into my life at just the right time

to relate to the stories and feelings of so many others

that I'm willing to keep trying my sponsor's suggestions (most of the time); when I do, things get better -- when I don't, things stay the same

for cooler weather on the way

that people may come and go, but cockroaches are here to stay

that a few friends may join me for Saturday Night Baseball

that The Astros had better not take the Chicago White Sox for granted -- they are tough!

that this weekend has been offically declared NO SOX WEEKEND in Houston -- don't wear your sox

I do not understand the mystery of grace--only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.
-Anne LaMott


Does anyone else watch

Desperate Housewives?

Thursday, October 20, 2005

World Series of Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for 2 years, 1 month, 15 days of sobriety (775 days)

for a fine story and presentation of what it was like, what happened and what it's like now, yesterday at noon

for a thoughtful present from a close friend before the ballgame last night

that I've never been pregnant nor had a desire to be

that I got to see "my team" win a pennant before I die

to see The Astros practice many of the spiritual principles in their lives and business; ie ... faith, hope, integrity, perseverance, love of others, discipline, humility

that Tradition 10 will keep me from choosing The Astros as my topic for the noon meeting

that today is meant to just feel good and hopefully I can give that to others

that The Astros appear very lucky (see below)

The more you prepare, the luckier you appear.
-Terry Josephson

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

I am reversed.

I am unfocused.

But I am happy, joyous & free.

And I'm clean and sober.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

YES !!!

The Astros are off to Chicago for the first
World Series appearance
in their 44 year history.

Hats off to the St Louis Cardinals.
A class act.
A class city.

PC's gone Wild

Ever wonder what happens when you leave you computer turned on overnight?

CLICK HERE if you really wanna know.

courtesy of Donovan

New Behavio(u)rs

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I can speak and write in both American English and British English

for a day of calm reflection on the Astros game of Monday night

that neither Louisiana or Texas is in the projected path of Hurricane Wilma; I hope the people in Florida are gettin' out of town now!

for making a little bit of progress in my morning prayer; this has been a very difficult transition for me

for reminders that old behavio(u)r is not old until I no longer practice it

for opportunities to practice new behavio(u)r

for my sponsor's sense of humo(u)r; ha ha ha

that even though my financial situation is always in flux, I've always been able to pay my bills on time

that reaching out to others can be wonderful exercise

When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
-Sufi epigram

Today's Menu Special

I have always enjoyed ...

green beans.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Not Just Another Game ...

Over the decades I have probably been to 500 or 600 Colt 45's / Astros games. Since 1962.

Barbara was so sweet to offer Don and I tickets to Game 5 of the League Championship Series (if that game would be necessary). It would be The Astros versus whoever. That offer was nearly 2 weeks ago.

As it turned out, the game was necessary. The Astros had the opportunity to win the National League pennant against The Cardinals. Never before in The Astros 44-year history had this situation presented itself, and I was there!

We got there at 5:30pm, a full two hours before game time. The teams were still taking batting practice. The game was, of course, a sellout. Two of the top pitchers of 2005 were pitted against each other - Chris Carpenter (StL) vs Andy Pettitte (Hou). It was a close game all the way and The Astros led 4-2 into the 8th inning. The crowd of 43,470 was loud beyond belief.

Six outs left to go, the Astros batting in the bottom of the 8th inning. The noise was comparable to standing next to a Boeing 747 on takeoff. Everyone screaming and waving their little white Astros towels in the air and banging noise sticks which had been handed out freely before the game. Management and Fox Sports wanted loud and they got it. They even kept the roof closed to increase the noise level.

Don and I stood up so we could see. Everyone was standing and jumping. Everyone but me.

Uncharacteristically (maybe) I began reflecting, thoughts running around inside my head. I thought of the early days in the 60's when the team was terrible. When my dad took me to games. The Astros were a joke for years amongst the league. I thought of the 70's when they actually had a few seasons that saw as many wins as losses. A few players that became stars - after they were traded elsewhere. I thought of 1980 and 1986 when The Astros almost made the playoffs. A couple of gut-wrenching losses. They nearly got there. I thought of the 90's and teams that had good won-loss records but never progressed. The years of Bagwell and Biggio. Of my hero Larry Dierker as manager. I thought of last season when they came within an out of beating these same Cardinals for the pennant. I thought of all these things while the Astros batted in the 8th inning and The Cardinals came to bat in the 9th. The crowd noise was nearly unbearable and a few tears rolled down my sentimental cheek.

The Cards threatened and I knew I could not yet celebrate. Pujols at bat. Maybe the best hitter in the game today. I've seen too much over the decades. One bad pitch, one experienced swing of the bat. That's all it would take. And that's exactly what happened.

The Astros lost the game on one swing of the bat. The noise was over. But I was calm. I was pleased. Disappointed of course. But pleased that I could keep everything in perspective. Pleased that I got to witness such excitement. Pleased that the season is not yet over. On to St Louis to try again tomorrow.

And I was very pleased that I was sober.

Acceptance is such an Asset

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I went to a very good Step 10 meeting yesterday

that I no longer "accidentally" add insult to injury to those with whom I come into contact

for compassion towards people, including myself

for another one of those "Aha!" moments in the 6:30am meeting this morning (more shall be revealed)

that when I'm feeling sorry for myself, somebody, somewhere in my life is missing my presence

for the most incredible experience last night of The Astros game; 43,470 screaming, sometimes obnoxious baseball fans

that I left that game disappointed in the outcome, but not the experience

that during that game and towards the end, I never lost sight of the fact that there's a reason they play all 9 innings; my length of time involved with baseball told me not to celebrate too early

that there's always tomorrow (when there's not, I don't need to worry about it anyway)

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
-Sam Ewing

Monday, October 17, 2005

Spotlight on Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful and thAAnkful

for a tremendously successful fundraiser Saturday night

to be witness to so much talent from a bunch of alcoholics and addicts

that when the going gets tough, the tough don't drink

that it is about time to make some changes

for some honesty from a young person having trouble staying clean and sober

that, by all indications, I am gay

that sometimes I actually Do the Next Right Thing

that when I Do the Next Wrong Thing, it can be painfully obvious

for a new friendship with someone in recovery

for reasons to stay up later than usual this weekend

that I've seen The Astros do so well - consistently

that I get to go to The Astros game tonight and have the opportunity to see them win their first pennant - ever!

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
-Sam Ewing

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Pics from our Fundraiser

As promised (or threatened as the case may be) here's a little bit of photographic evidence that some are sicker than others. These are from our RoundUp Drag Auction Fundraiser, held last night.

RU drag - dani and anthony The Emcees RU drag - the judges

RU drag - byron and scott The Judds 1 RU drag - The Judds 1

RU drag - edward on floor RU drag - dewayne r backstage

RU drag - chase 1 RU drag - joshua

RU drag - kenny c RU drag - brandon 1

RU drag - wally as jackie b 1 RU drag - wally as jackie b closeup

Thanks guys!!

incognito - NOT!

I attended a DRAG SHOW last night.

A Drag Show & Auction fundraiser for a non-profit organization.

It raised $10,000 in 2 hours from a crowd of 150.

These 3 upstanding members of the community also alighted on the scene with aplomb.

I promise to post some pix later today.

My best day sober ...

One of the sayings I hear a lot in AA meetings goes something like this:

My worst day sober is better than my best day when I drank.

Well, personally, I think that is bullshit.
I drank for 32 years and loved it for most of that time. I had a wonderful and fulfilling career. I had great times in the 70's and 80's living in gay Montrose, Houston. Throughout the 90's, I had great times travelling and experiencing the world for my job.

So, I must amend that saying in this way:

My best day sober is better than my best day when I was drinking.
My worst day sober is better than my worst day when I was drinking.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Baseball Playoffs

Here's the playoff status as of right now.

My boys, The Astros play at 3:30 this afternoon. I have a Board meeting to attend at 4pm. Since I must be true to my comittments, I will attend the meeting, but only for an hour. If it goes longer, bye-bye guys. Gotta go home.

I've been waiting for 44 years to watch The Astros do this.


Four engineers - a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer - were traveling in a car when, suddenly, the engine died.

"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We`ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again," said the mechanical engineer.

"Well," said the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clean out the fuel system."

"I think it might be a grounding problem," said the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug wire."

All three turned to the computer engineer who had said nothing. "What do you think?" they asked. He replied, "Well, perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again...."

Friday, October 14, 2005


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to chair the noon meeting yesterday and lead the 6:30am meeting today

that I love going to AA meetings; doing 3 today, maybe 4

to be reminded that when I can justify something (in my mind) it's usually best to talk it over with someone first

for solutions to resentments: sobriety, prayer, let it go, being open-minded, verbalizing, making amends

that I no longer have to be right (all the time); I'd rather be happy

for solutions to just about everything: Steps 1-12

that The Astros won last night; series tied at 1-1


The All-Nighter

I have never understood the point - or the reason - of going out late at night and staying up as long as possible.

When I drank, I got started early and usually finished relatively early. I finished early because I was either passed out or almost passed out. I'm talking about by 11pm or so. Sometimes I could make it til around midnight.

One reason I loved living in England was because the pubs closed at 11pm. Perfect. For me. Go home at 11 and get a decent night's sleep before starting work at 6am. But even when I was not working (for 5 years) I kept that same schedule. It worked for me as I'm a morning person anyway.

I bring this up because of this post by Joe.My.God. He tells of being invited to perform at a club but then everything shutting down shortly after midnight because everyone was too tired or too loaded to watch a performance.

It's not just my age because I have always been this way. But today, age has a lot to do with it. Even at our AA Center, I go home by 11pm. Ready for bed. Of course, I'm always by myself and don't have to compromise with anyone else on this.


Thursday, October 13, 2005

Learning as I go

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I've never broken an arm or a leg

that I haven't been stalked in 18 years

that I haven't had a car accident in 8 years

that the only time I've ever been admitted to a hospital was in 1959

that life would not be much fun if I knew the future

that I feel prepared for just about anything that may happen as long as I remain spiritually connected

for those with multiple continuous years in sobriety who lead by example

today is sirreene's birthday; click here to join the party

that the Astros never give up; that's a good thing, a very good thing

for a free gift -- an Astros ticket to Game 5 of the playoffs from a recovering friend

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
-James D. Miles

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

"... it's how you play the game."

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Landscape of Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm doing something right lately because I'm very serene - and happy!

for the little things

for the opportunity of choices I never had when I drank

for quiet coffee time at Starbuck's; sometimes alone, sometimes with friends

that I live in the middle of it all yet don't have to participate in all of it

for growth within

for hope that maybe someday I'll have some balance in my life

for hope that maybe someday I'll be able to do the things I like to do -- with moderation

that the 'Stros have a chance to start gettin' 'er done tonight

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes.
-Marcel Proust

Some of the worst puns ...

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, get married. The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was great.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home.’” ”That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” “It’s not unusual.”

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive...”

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy.”

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, ‘no, the steaks are too high.’

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Coffee Bitch

I like coffee. No, more like, I love coffee.


Stop by and have a cuppa with him.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a chance to share at a Step 9 meeting; my feelings are very strong about this step as it was a major stepping stone in my serenity

that I'm at least trying to make some small changes suggested by my sponsor

that old dogs can learn new tricks, but the treats may need to be tastier

for the concept of a difference between religion and spirituality which enabled me to "get" the program of AA and thus, sobriety

for the return of a familiar face and the addition of a new face at the 6:30a meeting today

that yesterday I finally ran out of the cash and some food staples I had stocked up with for Hurricane Rita - 17 days after the storm passed

for time with my Mom

that I still keep trying to do the right thing even when it's uncomfortable

that when I have nothing else to do, it's mighty difficult to waste my time

for a nice soaking rain which we badly needed

that this city seems to be going bonkers over The Astros

Kindness makes a fellow feel good, whether it’s being done to him or by him.
-Frank A. Clark


Monday, October 10, 2005

Name & Address Change

Sublime Recovery (particle) has changed his name.

He is now AA Waking Life.
Please make note of the new address by clicking here.

Striving to Understand

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for an extremely successful event at Lambda on Saturday

for all the people who gave their time, effort and money for that event

for the human body I've been given that is able to recover from fatigue just by resting

for a plethora of meeting topics surrounding sponsorship (I wonder what this means?)

that it's OK to be different even though I'm not unique

that growth comes through adversity, not vice versa

that I can give away my sobriety and get more back; pretty neat, huh?

that the Astros won the first round of playoffs, culminating with the longest game in postseason history

Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality.
-Les Brown

Happy Columbus Day

It is also

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Astros move forward ...

The Houston Astros outlasted the Atlanta Braves in the Division Championship series today in a history-making game.

The Astros won 7-6 in 18, yes EIGHTEEN, innings. The equivalent of 2 normal games.
CLICK HERE FOR BOX SCORE That's the longest game in the history of post-season play in major league baseball. It lasted almost 6 hours.

The 'Stros move on to play the St Louis Cardinals for the National League pennant, beginning Tuesday.

A busy Fundraiser

We had our Lambda Center fundraiser yesterday. It was a small carnival. See post of October 3. It kept many of us quite busy for a number of days in preparation.

I'm grateful to Scott W. for professionally painting and producing this set for the Pie Throwing Contest.

At the end of the day, my tired body posed for these pictures. I had my face painted by fellow blogger luscious lajuana.

We raised about $1700 for the Center. Our costs were entirely underwritten by donations from members.

I'm always amazed at the generosity of my friends in recovery.

Are you Insane?

The Twelve Steps to Insanity

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing. We could manage our lives perfectly, and we could manage those of anyone else who would allow it.

2. Came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves, and the rest of the world was insane.

3. Made a decision to have our loved ones and friends turn their wills and lives over to our care.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.

5. Admitted to the whole world at large the exact nature of their wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to make others straighten up and do right.

7. Demanded that others either "shape up or ship out."

8. Made a list of anyone who had ever harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.

9. Got direct revenge on such people whenever possible except when to do so would cost us our own lives or, at the very least, a jail sentence.

10. Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through nagging to improve our relations with others as we couldn't understand them at all, asking only that they knuckle under and do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional, and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame it on others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

STAYING SOBER, Meredith Gould, page 109

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Nature calls

It's lovely weather to go camping

Friday, October 07, 2005

Today's list ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some frank talk between my sponsor and I

that I am constantly reminded (rightfully so) how screwed up my thinking can be

that I don't have to be perfect but I can be excellent

for the evolution of the concepts of Honesty, Open-Mindedness and Willingness as my brain continues to become clearer

that my commitment to learning to live sober may keep me from being committed

that I can occasionally turn down desert at lunch

that I live in a place that doesn't get too cold; I'll take the heat and the hurricanes but the temp here today is sure a nice change from the past 5 months (it's about 62 deg F)

that The Astros left Atlanta with a win and a day off

I'm getting old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

The only way on earth to multiply happiness is to divide it.
-Paul Scherer

in the Sahara

I worked in Agadir, Morocco for about 5 months.
This was my office -- the windows over the blue doors.

Note the extensive desert landscaping.

My company hired that Toyota RAV4 for me. when I got back home and bought a new car, I got myself one. Great little car.

Sex & Shopping

A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"
"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Meet Charlie

I've rediscovered a blog I read when I first entered the blogosphere. I enjoy his posts and just want to introduce him to you.

These are the experiences of a 20 year old as he searches for love, happiness and the courage to reveal a secret to his family.

Meet Charlie. He Plays for the Wrong Team.

Another 24 hours

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to have a friend like Scott, who lost his dog & companion Chester yesterday after a 16 year friendship; you're encouraged to click on his name and offer your condolensces

that I'm finished with my part of sprucing up the back yard @ Lambda

that I heard an AA story yesterday with some very familiar feelings

for much needed time with my sponsor this morning

that we no longer have gasoline shortage in Houston

for the promise of cooler weather - finally!

that The Astros won Game 1 of their playoff series versus The Braves

for the following that a friend sent me:
"We of AA are apt to brag of the virtues of our fellowship. Let us remember that none of these are earned virtues. We have been forced into them, to begin with, by the cruel lash of John Barleycorn. We have adopted these attitudes, these practices, this structure, not at first because we wished to but because we had to. And then, as time confirmed the seeming rightness of our basic principles, we began to conform because it was right to do so."

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

Not really half nakked, but I'm not going to try to compete with R.J.

This picture is in 1971 when I was a junior in high school. I was running a 220 yard dash. That's before they went to using the metric system

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Wild Card Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some really decent weather this week

that The Astros can start gittin' 'er done today

that I'm sober and partially sane

that I got to hang-out with a recoveirng friend last night - very rare for this fellow

that I haven't been isolating lately

for the 8 months I spent in Newfoundland in 2000 & 2001

that I have only been a victim of violent crime once (mugged)

for a good crowd of 15 at the 6:30am meeting today

that in sobriety I can clean up my own mess without finding an excuse not to do so


Astros Playoff Game 1

I've been following The Astros since 1963. I was 9 years old then. Beginning in '68 I really got into the game in detail, learning the strategies and statistics of the game and how it all meshed together.

Baseball is truly an art form. I've been fortunate enough to have instruction in the game at the highest level. I understand the dedication that those who play at that level must possess.

Today, my boys begin the playoffs against the Atlanta Braves in a best-of-5 series. The Astros have never won a league championship.

They shall continue in that quest beginning today.

Kick ass boys. Kick ass.

UPDATE: Astros 10, Braves 5

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I propose the following ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that for a couple of days I am walking around with a smile on my face

that the only permanent thing is death

that I got out of my comfort zone and went to a 3rd meeting last night

for a possible visit from a fellow recovering blogger

for the stories of the Big Book

that I heard some things I needed to hear about sponsorship

that, even though it took me 3 months to get the message, I finally learned that the program of AA did not require me to stop drinking by myself

that for months, I tried to stop by myself, but quickly learned that I couldn't do it without some assistance

that 8,000 baseball fans showed up to watch The Astros take batting practice yesterday afternoon, before the team left for Atlanta

for the entertainment of Nipsey Russell, who just died at 80 yrs

for The Golden Girls every morning while I type this


Monday, October 03, 2005

Our next Fundraiser

We do all sorts of fundraisers at the AA clubhouse that I attend. Almost on a monthly basis.


Lambda Center (click here to see) has been in operation since 1978. This location opened in 1992 and costs a lot of money each month to keep the doors open.

I'm on the fundraising committee and do what I can to help promote the center within our little community. This flyer is all about this coming weekend. It should be a lot of fun. If you're in the Houston area (or any other coast) and find yourself with time on your hands and a few dollars in your pocket, stop by and visit.

Sources of Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that amazing things started when I stopped

to be asked and then voted, back on the Lambda Board

for all the volunteers and preparation for the upcoming fundraiser

to hear Lynda K's story Saturday night

that I often see recovery all around me

for the wisdom to think things through before it's too late

for the things I haven't done since I stopped drinking


The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Me, Me, Me update

I can't give an update on what's going on with you, but here's my current state of affairs ...

... 2 years, 27 days sober
... I'm still tryng to conceive of my God
... I don't see my wonderful mother often enough, but we're very close
... I'm a GSR for my 6:30am Eyes Wide Shut AA group
... as of yesterday, I'm back on the Board of Directors of Lambda Center
... still one of the most sarcastic smart-asses I know
... still part-owner of Griff's Bar
... I have one AA sponsee
... I continue to have a very special love for Hayden
... I continue to sporadically isolate when I'm not spiritually connected
... still completely single; that's best for everyone
... my 2005 Toyota will be due for state inspection in 13 months

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

Dog's Best Friend

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Enter: Justin

Cute guy.
Nice blog.


give justin a visit and say HI!!


Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never soar.

I asked for Strength.........
.... and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom.........
.... and God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity.........
.... and God gave me brain and brawn to work.

I asked for Courage.........
.... and God gave me danger to overcome.

I asked for Love.........
.... and God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for Favours.........
.... and God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.
Good stuff. I should pay more attention to it.