Oh yeah, I remember that first day

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had only the 2nd first-time newcomer at the 6:30am meeting yesterday.  This is rare, I guess because someone contemplating their first AA meeting is usually not awake by that time.  Or else they're just going to bed.  Understandably, he was nervous and he said so.  He looked weak.  He shared that he sometimes can't stop crying.  He got a DUI just last week.  Sound familiar?

that I haven't had the jitters (aka DT's) in 8 years

that I gained an appetite shortly after stopping drinking

for miracles -- big & small, noticed and unnoticed

for one-liners

Two things are infinite:

the universe and human stupidity;

and I'm not sure about the universe.

- Albert Einstein

Taking inventory

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for first step meetings in A.A.  It's a tradition at the clubhouse of which I'm a member that whenever there's a first-time newcomer, we have a first step meeting.  I mostly love these.  But it sometimes amazes me how self-centered some folks can get when they share about their drinking experience(s) instead of saying something that a person with a big hangover might actually understand.  Well, I suppose I shouldn't be so judgemental.  I have a lot of work to do on me and it needs to be done before I can fix everybody else.  LOL

that my Higher Power allows me to screw up as much and as often as I wish.  Occasionally I even learn from my mistakes.

that I get to stick around, stay sober and see changes in so many people

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.

- Nelson Mandela

I'm just a grateful old ....

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I attended 2 meetings yesterday that centered on Step 1. "We were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." It took a few months of a clearing detoxing brain before I realized that alcohol had been my master, had managed my life for many years. I had conveniently overlooked that part of my drinking life. I thought I had been a functional alcoholic since I held a good job and was financially responsible.

that today, as I type this, I AM a functional alcoholic.

that a few friends of mine offer such hope and inspiration to so many of us. I have 2 friends who are both 33 years old, one with terminal colon cancer (he will die any day) and another who was just diagnosed with lymphoma and began chemotherapy this week. Another friend who's about 50 is going through a second round of colo-rectal cancer and just came out of major surgery. All these people are sober and recovering alcoholics and show me how to act when the times get really tough. Whew!

that my problems ain't shit!


The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin Mays

Dancing Queens

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm old enough to have experienced a lot, but young enough to try it again anyway

for A.A.'s first step and its importance -- "We were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable."

for those who've tried to get sober outside/without AA and come to share their experiences

that I feel much better than yesterday, thank you


Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow.”
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Peaceful Easy Feeling

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for good things that happen when I get out of the way

for Step One meetings because they are the basic reminders that I can never hear enough about

for clearer perceptions than I used to have

that I do my very best to follow through on committments -- I get pretty tired of so many people who agree to do something and then don't do it.


You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
- John Wooden

1 11 11

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful 1st step meeting when we had a newcomer (first AA meeting) at the 6:30am meeting yesterday. We rarely have a first-timer that early in the morning.

that I can remember to tell a newcomer to return for a second meeting; I think that's the most important meeting they may ever attend.

for a seemingly increasing clarity of thinking

that I have no desire to be popular, but I do like for people to like me


Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Principles

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to see my good friend, Jessie J. yesterday morning after about a month of absences from our morning meeting. He is to undergo major surgery today but the prognosis is good. He's a fine example of recovery and this experience will add to his 29 years of sobriety.

for Step 1 and all its implications; it's amazing how long it took me to recognize how unmanageable my life had become during my 33 years of alcoholic drinking.

for the principles of honesty, faith, integrity and compassion. Now, if I can just remember to practice them.

for others


Real excellence and humility are not incompatible one with the other, on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

Steps 1, 2 & 3

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to know that I'm powerless over just about everything that happens

that my faith and trust in a HP brings me comfort, which in turn offers me some serenity and sanity

that I don't have to control anything except my behavior

I think you'll enjoy THIS.

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
- Leo Buscaglia

Step One "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -

that our lives had become unmanageable.


I really never had a problem admitting that I'm an alcoholic. From my late 20's, that was rather clear. I drank more than anyone else I knew. I drank every night. I drank during the day when I could get away with it. This went on for more than 30 years. And by the time my drinking was finished, I was drinking when I didn't want to. But I had to drink. I didn't know how NOT to drink.
However, I have had a more difficult time realizing the unmanageability of my life. Now, I see it better than ever. But until I had been sober for a couple of years, this was hard to grasp. To put it simply, now I know how alcohol managed my life. All my thoughts and most of my behavior.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm sober today and for the last 2460 days.

that I attended our May birthday night at Lambda on Saturday. We had 24 people celebrating a total of 399 years of sobriety.

for the things that this holiday stands for. All service men in defense of their country are special people. I have the ultimate respect for the work they do.


If I had my life to live over...I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
- Nadine Stair

cross with caution

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a little more balance in my life each day

for my first official meeting with my Al Anon sponsor -- he made it through it OK

for a really touching first step meeting at noon yesterday because of a couple of newcomers in the meeting

that I always want more of whatever it is I like, so I might as well like being sober, eh?


There's an important difference between giving up and letting go.
- Jessica Hatchigan

Requisites for becoming sober

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm accountable

that a little over 6 years ago, I became willing to try the program of AA

that I wish to be rigorously honest and tolerant

that I was ready to confess my faults and make restitution for harm done

that I developed an inkling of a concept of a Higher Power

that I was, and am, willing to sacrifice the time and energy in trying to carry the message of AA

that I still haven't had an affair with Tiger Woods, yet

If you are good, be better.
~~ anonymous

Powerless?

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

it only gets better (and better, and better ...)

that my friend Gary B. from Los Angeles visited us again this Thanksgiving and was able to tell his AA story of Experience, Strength and Hope yesterday before he returns home

for the not-so-comfortable memoreis that working Step 1 can bring up

that I don't regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it; memories of my past are what helps keep me willing to stay sober today

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
- Socrates

It's all about recovery

Cats can be soooooooo dramatic!



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that we're on Day 2 of the Houston Roundup.

that I'm a little pressed for time this morning; so many meetings to be at. Love it!

that I co-chair a Step 1 workshop this morning.

that I had the honor of co-chairing Lambda Center's largest AA meeting of the year yesterday at 12:15pm. It was, of course, all about gratitude. And there were about 200 people in attendance.


What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.
- Ellen Burstyn

a different perspective

This is not Houston in the winter.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have everything I need and much more than I can use

that I got to substitute as chair of the noon meeting yesterday -- it was all about Step 1

that there's more than one way to get sober;
I think I picked the best one

that I no longer begin my day with a cigarette and a joint; that I no longer begin drinking alcohol before noon

that there's more than one way to skin a cat;
if you know more than one way, stop it now!!



If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
- Doug Larson

they get younger every year

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the more often I practice these principles in all my affairs, the easier my life seems to flow

OK, now for yesterday -- 12:15pm AA meeting which is normally a step-oriented meeting. We were goin g to discuss Step 6. The chairperson had begun when in walked about 20 teenagers. They were from a local treatment/rehab center. He welcomed them as they took seats and we discovered that only 1 had never attended an AA meeting. From that point, the topic was centered around the first step - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." For the last 20-ish minutes of the meeting, the chairperson asked for sharing from the teens. Some of the stories they shared brought yours truly to tears.

When I left that meeting, I felt so grateful to be a sober and recovering member of society, not having to worry about jail or death, not having to deal with parents who are abusive or violent addicts, not having to deal with peer pressure from so-called friends or gang members, etc...

Today, I shall be the best human I can be, having learned from my own experiences and those of others.

Living well and beautifully and justly are all one thing.
- Socrates

nine eleven

I love this song when it's performed this way. I've never really cared to hear it sung/performed with artistic impression. But that's just me. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.




todAAyi AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have visited Ground Zero in Manhattan and could feel its significance

that Al-Queda terrorists have laregely been thwarted in this country for the past 9 years.

that most meetings where the first step is discussed, more is revealed to me

for THIS wonderful story of freedom from louisey over at Letting It Go

for the process of discussion versus argument

that I'm going to another Astros game tonight with a friend in recovery


Enthusiasm is a volcano on whose top never grows the grass of hesitation.
- Kahlil Gibran

off in the distance ...

During their walk on the lunar surface one of the astronauts (probably Buzz Aldrin) snapped this photo of the Lunar Module with Earth almost directly above.

todAay i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that sobriety brings me more perspective

for a fulfilling and exhilarating experience as guest speaker at an AA meeting in Austin, Texas. The last 2 times I "told my story", I was 15-20 minutes short of the alloted time period. Saturday night, however, the words seemed to just flow and I could have easily spoken for another hour I think. Instead of telling about my drunken days and nights, I focused on the unmanageable feelings of obsession and behavior behind my alcoholism.
It felt really good to get some of that stuff out in front of a group of recovering alkies.

that Steps 1, 2 and 3 got me sober

for lunch @ Luby's with the guys & girls


Nothing lowers the level on conversation more than raising the voice.
- Stanley Horowitz

a waste of good glass

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be objective, at least where others are concerned

that my personal definition of humility has changed from meaning to be modest to being teachable

for the joy of in-depth discussion of Step 1 with a new sponsee

that my life has taken so many turns, I don't think I'll ever be straight!


Yearn to understand first and to be understood second.
- Beca Lewis Allen

no title today

A rancher's widow needed help to run the ranch, so she advertised in the local paper for a hired hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk..He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.'The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock came and still no hired hand.
Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.She quietly called him over to her.
Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly..'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.'Now take off my skirt'. He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.'Now take off my bra'. Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.Then she looked at him and said, 'If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired'.


I know that's been around awhile, but I love it. LOL



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I was in first grade the last time I was sober for this length of time

for seemingly constant reminders lately that my recovery must come before anything else; it's because of my recovery that anything else is possible

for some really powerful first step meetings over the past few days


That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.
- William Feather

The Steps

This ladder seems like a pretty cool invention.









todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I heard some of the experience, strength and hope of a fellow member of Alcoholics Anonymous Saturday night. A man with 14 years of sobriety with whom I can really relate.

that I'm currently working on Steps 1, 6 and 7 with 3 different sponsee's

for a Saturday afternoon spent at home, by myself, being happy and productive

that I'm part of the Houston Roundup this year (again) - I really enjoy being involved

that Pam's computer is well

that I told you this guy was to good to be true


Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
~~ unknown