on this Friday morning ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I attended my 2nd yoga class last night; I'll keep going back

that I have so much less resistance to change as compared to previous years

for miracles, honesty, faith and hope


Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

The Domino Effect

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my health, which I have because I decided to take better care of myself once I got sober

for more clarity of thought, which I have because I got sober

that I got a sponsor early in sobriety; someone who already had a sponsor

that I worked the steps with my sponsor in the order in which they are listed


I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu

I'm just a grateful old ....

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I attended 2 meetings yesterday that centered on Step 1. "We were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." It took a few months of a clearing detoxing brain before I realized that alcohol had been my master, had managed my life for many years. I had conveniently overlooked that part of my drinking life. I thought I had been a functional alcoholic since I held a good job and was financially responsible.

that today, as I type this, I AM a functional alcoholic.

that a few friends of mine offer such hope and inspiration to so many of us. I have 2 friends who are both 33 years old, one with terminal colon cancer (he will die any day) and another who was just diagnosed with lymphoma and began chemotherapy this week. Another friend who's about 50 is going through a second round of colo-rectal cancer and just came out of major surgery. All these people are sober and recovering alcoholics and show me how to act when the times get really tough. Whew!

that my problems ain't shit!


The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin Mays

Dancing Queens

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm old enough to have experienced a lot, but young enough to try it again anyway

for A.A.'s first step and its importance -- "We were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable."

for those who've tried to get sober outside/without AA and come to share their experiences

that I feel much better than yesterday, thank you


Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow.”
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Not feelin' well

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to celebrate and participate in another Pride weekend here in Houston

that I stayed sober and content throughout the weekend

that I wrote this much this morning; I'm sorta sick


Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

The easier softer way

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I no longer have to waste so much energy finding reasons to do the next wrong thing

for rigorous honesty in all my affairs

for my health. I'm overweight by 30 pounds but so far I seem to remain fairly healthy. My Peripheral Artery Disease is 75% better since I stopped smoking and began working out 4 years ago. I hope to become willing to improve my diet so I can take some poundage off.

that I heard this in a meeting --- "I'd rather someone else beat me up when I screw up because at least they will know when to stop."

Every wall is a door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A look at sidecars (this week)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I rarely find a need to be somebody else

to possess some knowledge of the insidiousness of jealousy

that I'm physically well (again). I got sick on Saturday with the same 18-hour bug I had a few weeks ago. I missed both of my Saturday AA meetings. It marked only about the 12th day since I got sober that I didn't attend an AA meeting. I've missed 12 days out 2831 days of being sober. I'm proud of that. Thank you. (If I were still drinking and still alive, I would not have missed that many days of drinking)

that we seem to have lived through 105 degree temperatures here yesterday


Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

today's potpourri

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the 3rd tradition ... "The only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking." It doesn't say quit drinking or to do something about your drinking; it says stop drinking.

that my physical health didn't suffer too much from my drinking. I had progressively worse DT's ove rthe last 10 years I drank, but it disappeared within a week of stopping

for my spiritual life; it's mine and NO ONE can take it away. But alcohol can.

for someone who returned to the rooms of AA yesterday after a relapse after 8 years of being sober

that I watched the President last night so I could get the message from the horse's mouth instead of hearing some reporter's opinion of what he said


Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Nature, naturally

This week I'll be posting some pictures of nature at work. Enjoy!!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good attitude

that I never have to hit another alcoholic bottom; one was plenty!

for the honor of working closely, one-on-one, with 4 recovering alkies on a weekly basis

that a former sponsee is getting ready to celebrate 5 years of continuous sobriety; I am so happy for him!

that when I briefly became sick over the weekend, I took care of myself and limited my activities; it worked.


We may not always be aware of it, but we all create and repeat affirmations constantly. The problem is, we typically don't pay attention to exactly what those affirmations are saying. Often we go through the day giving ourselves all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages. We may project confidence to the world around us, while our inner dialogue says... I hope this works. I am so nervous about this. I hope I don't blow it. Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies. If we say, This is never going to work... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf

A happy Friday to you!

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have been so busy lately; it's been a huge help in keeping me from swimming around inside of my head and maybe drowning!

that I had an appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday and she confirmed a lot of things for me; she stopped a bit short of telling me I'm not crazy as a loon, but she did say my thinking was pretty damn right-on. Whew!

for faith that my life will unfold in front of me in ways I probably can't imagine; that has been true for these first 56 years

that I'm still passionate about service work


My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

World AIDS Day

World AIDS Day, observed December 1 each year, is dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection. It is common to hold memorials to honor persons who have died from HIV/AIDS on this day. Government and health officials also observe the event, often with speeches or forums on the AIDS topics. Since 1995, the President of the United States has made an official proclamation on World AIDS Day. Governments of other nations have followed suit and issued similar announcements.

AIDS has killed more than 25 million people between 1981 and 2007, and an estimated 33.2 million people worldwide live with HIV as of 2007, making it one of the most destructive epidemics in recorded history. Despite recent, improved access to antiretroviral treatment and care in many regions of the world, the AIDS epidemic claimed an estimated 2 million lives in 2007, of which about 270,000 were children.





todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that I'm still HIV negative after all these years and intend to remain that way

that I'm not responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible for my second thought and the action after that thought

that my home life/relationship still sucks but I still think I'm just about the luckiest person I know

that my experience tells me that life goes on (so far, that's been the case)

for a really good noon meeting yesterday about self-care


Most of us love, to be sure. Yet far too often our love is passive.
We must be proactive in our love in order for it to change our lives.
- Marianne Williamson

Keep the Faith

CLICK ON THE PIC TO ENLARGE



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for perspective to see that things happen the way they do - for a reason. I rarely see those reasons until much later. Thus, I must always keep the faith that everything will work out just the way it should.

for the time I get to spend working with other alkies

that yesterday, I celebrated 4 consecutive years of NO SMOKING!

for the past 10 days of beautiful weather here in SE Texas

A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.
- Anonymous

one-oh-one-one-oh

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today is Friday

for a day spent listening to other alcoholics and practicing my compassion

that I get to go to my 3 recovery meetings today

that if I ever get burned out on being sober, happy, joyous and free, I can always go back to being absolutely miserable

that I didn't freak out when my gym went out of business last Friday. I found another one on Saturday and joined it.


It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.
- Benjamin Franklin

beginning this week...

Irony.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the things I so often take for granted ...

my health
my friends
my home
my cars
my income
my abilities

that I DON'T take these things for granted ...

my sobriety / recovery
my serenity



We come this way but once. We can either tiptoe through life and hope we get to death without being badly bruised or we can live a full, complete life achieving our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor

Steps 4 and 5

Cereal junkie...........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that by writing out Step 4 (of AA's twelve steps) I could visualize on paper some patterns to my faulty thinking; I learned a few things aobut myself I would never have imagined

that Step 5 gave me the opportunity to trust another human with my deepest and darkest secrets; by doing this, the negative power of some of that knowledge was removed

that my 8 years relationship with my other half is, at times, the most difficult thing I've ever tried.

I keep trying.

that my bronchitis is a little better, but the cough remains deep within me at times


In all things and in all ways, choice impacts virtually every element of our life. It bears repeating that even those things which seem out of reach of our choice are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

doormat, no more

my favorite doormat!!!


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my recovery seems to be a life of lesser addictions; some new, some are just now blossoming

that I hope to never finish working the steps

that I haven't missed any of my regular AA meetings since I've been on bronchitis medication -- however, it's really difficult to stay awake and I've gone home and slept after a few of those meetings

that it will be really nice to get back to the gym -- I think I'm gonna have to wait another day or two though


If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?
- Confucius

Friday the 13th

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get to be sober again all day

for the unity that's spelled out in Tradition One of the 12/12. Without it, I, along with countless others, would not still be here.

that my illness is a mild case of bronchitis. The headaches that accompany the heavy coughing are not caused by a brain tumor which I thought might end my life at any moment.

that I'm gonna have to rest all weekend -- doctor's orders! I am not going to like this.

Self-care is critical to having a strong inner foundation. Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.
- Lorraine Cohen

Sold! I hope.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some good exercise over the weekend, both in the gym and outside in the yard. Damn, it's hot though.

that I have been going out of my way to contact some friends who've relapsed. I hear their excuses and am learning some really f***ed up ways of thinking.

that we don't have toilet rings

that I sold one of my collector cars on eBay - now I just hope the buyer pays as promised.

Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman

flooded

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I know my motives are good in the things I do. I often question myself and make instant corrections to my behavior when I see myself doing something for the wrong reason(s). Is this Step 10? I think so.

that my colonoscopy went well/without a hitch yesterday. Everything came out just fine.

for the professionalism of the medical personnel who dealt with me; they could not have been more caring and kind; in turn, I flooded them with my stupid humor. They seem to have lived through it.


There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Overhead and Behind

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today is the 41st anniversary of men first landing on the moon. I well remember watching it on television with my parents. I was 15 years old and fascinated by the space program. It was also my last year of sobriety until I would be 49 years old.

that I'm pretty damn happy, joyous and free. There's not much new in my life today but there's no big drama happening either. Life is just flowing. That reminds me ...

that I'm having a colonoscopy this morning, my second. I had one about 3 years ago. This brings to mind the story about a friend who had gastrointestinal problems and they eventually removed part of his colon. He did just fine without it except we always called him semi-colon. At least he was punctual.

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius