early morning thoughts

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I will have the honor of listening to a sponsee's 5th step today

for the similarities and the differences

that my control issues have really improved over the past year or two; it's such a process!

to know that the grass is always greener on the other side until I have to mow it



Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow

Time does matter

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for many birthday greetings yesterday -- somehow, I've now managed to live for over 57 years

for Step 5 - "Admitted to God, to ouselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." When I first did this with my sponsor at about 8 months sober, it taught me about being open and frank with someone. As rigorously honest as I could be. I learned about trust. And I attempt to continue that trust with the people with whom I work.

for the text on step 5 in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. It talks about the relationship between isolation and loneliness on page 57. I really identify with this writing.

for a long, slow recovery

A person acting from a motivation of contribution and service rises to such a level of moral authority that worldly success is a natural result.
- Marianne Williamson

workin' it

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for what is possibly the ultimate honor in recovery; listening to the fifth step of a recovering alcoholic

for AHA! moments, whenever they come. Funny how they are never expected. I guess that's why they're called AHA! moments. LOL

for some cool thoughts about my mother. Sometimes, I really miss her presence.

that I've never been a troublemaker although I have always enjoyed stirring up some ____.


Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

Say "Cheeeese!"

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Easy Does It, Live & Let Live, First things First and all the other slogans we use in recovery;
What's your favorite?

for the benefits of doing Step 5, including the practice of telling my sponsor everything I don't want to tell him

for the Game Show Network -- I love it!!

for a few days of gorgeous cold (30's & 40's) weather we're having, although the temperature is supposed to be in the 70's tomorrow LOL

We cannot choose our external circumstances,
but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus

Ready. Set. Action!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my brain cell has been treating me well these past few days

for the bonding that happened with my sponsor after I did my initial 5th step with him

that for today, I don't care about getting drunk nor high

for the chapter entitled "Into Action" in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. There's not a chapter called "Into Thinking".


Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

Steps 4 and 5

Cereal junkie...........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that by writing out Step 4 (of AA's twelve steps) I could visualize on paper some patterns to my faulty thinking; I learned a few things aobut myself I would never have imagined

that Step 5 gave me the opportunity to trust another human with my deepest and darkest secrets; by doing this, the negative power of some of that knowledge was removed

that my 8 years relationship with my other half is, at times, the most difficult thing I've ever tried.

I keep trying.

that my bronchitis is a little better, but the cough remains deep within me at times


In all things and in all ways, choice impacts virtually every element of our life. It bears repeating that even those things which seem out of reach of our choice are governed by how we choose to perceive them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Step Nine "Made direct amends ...

to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

My sponsor (bless his heart) crossed off most of the people on my Step 8 list. He left me with just 3 people to whom I needed to make a direct amends. These were both of my parents and my life-partner. Two would have to be in writing and the amends to my mom would be fact-to-face. As I said, yesterday, I was ready.

He (my sponsor) insisted that he see my written amends before I sent them in case they needed some editing. They did. He reminded me to keep it simple and to the point.

We talked about what I would say to mom. As it turned out, I had a lifetime of neglect and short-tempered outbursts to make amends for. The best I could offer her would be as a living amends to change those behaviors. But I still had to ask her how I could make things right. What would be her suggestions?

When all was said and done, the results were magnificent. My amends were well received by those I loved. Now, a few years down the road, this step changed my life. And made the lives better for those I loved. I was able to be the primary caretaker for my mother during her last 3 years on this planet as she slowly died from a major stroke. I was her attentive son, at her eside when I could be. I never missed seeing her because I was sitting an a bar - drunk.
I am still with my partner. His request to me to not treat him abusively any more is always on my mind. Sometimes, I relapse to my old ways, but those times are a little less each year. I have Step 10 at my disposal when necessary. Next week, we celebrate our 8th year together.

I love Step 9 (in case you couldn't tell).



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for commitment to my recovery design for living

that my friend Marcos shared his story of experience, strength and hope yesterday

that I had the honor to listen to another fifth step yesterday; I'll get to hear another one next week, I think


Then give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.
- Madeline Bridges

Step Five "Admitted to God,

to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."


This was pretty easy for me when I first did it with my sponsor. I had a couple of sordid tales to tell and I told them. Talking through my 4th step highlighted the patterns of resentment of my life. We talked about those and how they can be largely prevented in the future.

The fallout from this step is that I feel comfortable (usually) talking to my sponsor about most matters. He doesn't judge me (as far as I can tell). He offers advice if I need it but always offers support. Another unsuspected benefit from an honest and thorough 5th step is that I always, always feel accountable to him. Many of my actions/behaviors are guided by the fact that I know I might have to relate them to my sponsor later on. It's like he's always looking over my shoulder.
I love this stuff!!


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for those who suit up and show up

for honesty, open-mindedness and willingness (H.O.W.)

that I get to participate in 3 AA meetings today, one of which will be in my backyard

for the many years of laughs given by Rue McClanahan

that Betty White is still going strong and may enter the NYC and Boston marathons while running for president


I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over-arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody and do it the simplest way possible.
- Jackie Gleason

just because ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have something to offer. So do you. And you too.

for the Fifth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous. "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

that a spiritual life is not a theory. I have to live it.

that I no longer live a double life. I think of all the energy I spent trying to be the person my bosses wanted me to be; the person I thought my bar friends wanted me to be; the person I thought my parents wanted me to be; the person I thought my close friends wanted me to be.
Whew!!


There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.
- Andre Gide

I'm too old to grow up.

I entered my '65 Riviera in a little car show over the weekend. There were about 500-600 entries. These are a few of them.





todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful




that I was able to substitute-chair the noon meeting yesterday -- it was on Step 5

for some reminders about the importance of my sponsor to my recovery; without his direction (especially in my early sobriety) I could not have possibly formed the foundation I have now

for the absolutely gorgeous spring weather we're experiencing in Houston

Celebrate what you've accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.
- Mia Hamm

back to business

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I attended a very spiritual (IMHO) AA birthday night @ Lambda Center. Here we celebrate annual milestones once monthly as a Center. Lambda is host to about 40 AA meetings each week. This month, my friend Scott W (Attitude of Gratitude) celebrated his sixth year of continuous sobriety. I paid him handsomely to give yours truly a big shout-out during his short acceptance talk. NOT!!

that I had the honor and privilege to listen to a sponsee's 5th Step over the weekend. It never ceases to amaze me what a moving experience this can be.

that I am on the Houston Roundup Committee and had the privilege to preview the annual play that will be performed next weekend in front of about 300 recovery peeps.


When one teaches, two learn.
- Robert Half

He's tired

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had 3 visitors at our little 6:30am meeting yesterday; one celebrating 1 month sober and another celebrating 3 months

for the honor of hearing a fifth step from one of my sponsee's yesterday -- this is always a special time for me. Interestingly enough, I'm supposed to hear another one today.

that I do my best NOT to be an enabler; there's always more to experience and learn about this subject

that I have every intention of remaining sober this weekend. I'll let you know how that works out on Monday.


The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-G.K. Chesterton