Friday, February 29, 2008

Filling the bucket (slowly)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the newcomer at the 6:30am meeting yesterday (a straight woman attending a [predominantly] gay men's meeting)

for the 2 ½ months that Hayden has been here; he's back to his Caribbean home today until the summer

that I had the opportunity to get 2 Houston Astros season ticket packages (1/3 of their 81 home games). The filling of my Bucket List continues.

that it's been 9 months since I had a hamburger; for my first 52 years (at least during my adult life), I probably averaged 4 burgers every week

A man does not have to be an angel in order to be a saint.
-Albert Schweitzer

Thursday, February 28, 2008

having faith

This picture is just for Bill.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I volunteered to chair the Wednesday 6:30am AA meeting for March

that my little bouts of depression go quickly

for the concept of fake it til you make it (it's worked many times for me)

for the infinite examples set before me

that I have 2 tickets to see Lisa Lampanelli in concert in a couple of weeks (don't click on her name if you are offended by naughty words)

Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.
-C.S. Lewis

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

the short list

Some pictures need no explanation.
This might be one of those.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I no longer pray for my HP's will; I ask for acceptance of my HP's will

that Pam is OK

that I'm always sober and ocassionally sane

that I don't live in a communist country

that I'm running late and gotta go

Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.
~ anonymous

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

just tryin' to do the deal

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to Afghanistan ' An old MSgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?' When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,' said the Attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.'

'My God,' he said , I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.' 'That's another thing Sergeant,' said the crew member,

'We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit.'

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am sober and smoke-free one more day, a freedom that many don't realize is available to them

for boundaries

that I am making an extra effort to make myself known to newcomers

that I slept late this morning

Man has never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.
-Bern Williams

Monday, February 25, 2008

There are some angels in this city

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I attended a very powerful and enlightening fist step meeting Sunday morning

that Lambda Center rocks and that a fellow blogger lives near Boulder

that I am going through a period of depression without a thought about drinking

that I can read the posts from some of you guys and know I'm not alone

that my partner and I can have disagreements and even argue but it doesn't last very long because I use some spiritual steps to bring it to a conclusion

that my nasty bug from Thursday was gone so quickly; the human body has some amazing recuperative powers

To me every hour of the day and night is an unspeakable perfect miracle.
-Walt Whitman

My name is Dave and I approved this message.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Shadow Puppets

courtesy of Bill


Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
-- Malcolm Forbes

Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within.
-- Steven H. Coogler

"What you see is what you get, and who you feel like is who you really are."
-- Denis Waitley

Saturday, February 23, 2008


To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best "wishes", chain letters, "angel" letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something,
For 2008, could you please just send money, chocolate,
movie tickets or gasoline vouchers.
Thank you!

on a side note: my little illness is gone. It was a 24-hour bug and by midday Friday, it's like it never happened. Once again, adding credence to the phrase that This Too Shall Pass.

temperature range in Houston today 43° - 73°

Friday, February 22, 2008

Feelin' poorly

I am sick.
I've spent a lot of time in the bathroom over the past 24 hours with fluids coming from several orifices. I either have "the bug" that's going around or food poisoning. I know that I shall be feeling better soon.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I rarely get sick; I seem to have a very strong immune system

that Hayden decided to stay another week

that tomorrow is AA Birthday Night @ Lambda

"The content of your thoughts and personal beliefs can be proven by a single indicator – your current results."
-- James A. Ray

"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, whether you are a winner or a loser."
-- Lou Holtz

"The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools."
-- Herbert Spencer

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Still progressing

Click here for a cute little song.
[courtesy of Zanejabbers]

If you're at work, don't turn it up too loud.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a short but sweet visit to see my Mom; she was able to open her eyes and smile at Hayden and I AND she squeezed our hands as well

for all the people who call to check on her condition

for the many times that my patience was tested yesterday and I passed each time; only a few months ago, my nerves would have been shot before darktime

that I rarely lie to anyone just so I can get my way

that it's been years since I have wanted to take revenge against anyone

that I am a defensive driver, thus able to avoid vehicles directly in front of me that go into a spin on the wet freeway

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-Winston Churchill

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Not much to say today...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my sobriety continues to be my priority

that my friend Jeff E. at Lambda celebrates his first AA birthday today!
He is only 30 years old and undergoing chemotherapy and doing it with grace and dignity. I learn a lot from this young man.

that Mom had a better day yeserday; I didn't make it to visit her, but my sister said that Mom stayed awake for over an hour and kept her eyes open

that I completed all of her funeral arrangements in advance instead of waiting

that more is disclosed to me every day

for a Big Bright Full Moon!!

Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Peace & Quiet

WARNING: you may find some of the language on this video offensive familiar

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a very peaceful day yesterday; I needed one

that I can sit quietly in an AA meeting and find serenity even when the people talking may have none

for the role in my life that moments of prayer have become

for the days that I don't beat myself over the head every time I make a mistake; this has always been one of my favorite destructive hobbies

for lots of progress on the home front (relationship stuff, ya know)

that Castro finally resigned his office

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

Monday, February 18, 2008


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for all of you who have been praying for my Mom; she continues to hang in there although she is seemingly unaware of anything or anyone around her

that Mom's friend of the past 54 years was able to visit her yesterday on her birthday

that I got to hear the 55 minute version of Myke S's story of experience, strength and hope

for confirmation (once again) that the membership of Lambda Center made the correct decision 3 years ago to allow CMA (crystal meth anonymous) meetings in addition to AA and AlAnon

that I made a decision not to give up

for a successful Country & Western dance @ Lambda, complete with bales of hay and saddles, two-stepping and hats and boots

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-Abraham Lincoln

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Mom update

Yesterday, my sister and I committed our Mom to hospice care. The doctor said there is nothing more he can do and that he would discharge her from the hospital, to return to the nursing home for a final stay.

We spent time with her and her pastor paid a visit as well. It was a special 2 hours we had together. She found the strength to smile and was able to squeeze my hand several times. She even opened her eyes. She had not been able to do these simple tasks for a week. I mentioned that I may get onstage at Lambda this summer and perform a drag number; this brought the biggest smile of the day. LOL

Tomorrow is her 85th birthday.
The picture was taken in her den in 1993.

I'll keep you informed and I hope you can find a moment today to include her when you talk to your Higher Power.


Friday, February 15, 2008

Life happening

I hate it when I feel this way.
I'm back to feeling sorry for myself for no damn reason.
It's like I'm alone in this world, eveybody hates me and is staying as far away as possible.
Maybe I need to schedule some additional therapy sessions.
Yep. That's what I'll do.

but anyway ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today is a new day

that yesterday is finished and history; it was NOT a good day for me or my Valentine

that I can't think of a damn thing that would cause me to want to drink alcohol again

that I did some cardio work in the late afternoon, something I have not done before; I always workout in the morning; I will do it again and possibly make it a habit

that I will attend 3 AA meetings today, unless my HP has different plans for me

When the solution is simple, God is answering.
-Albert Einstein

Thursday, February 14, 2008


click on the pic for better detail

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I no longer drink or smoke -- what happened?

that my wishes are not my commands

for insurance -- home, auto, medical and spiritual

that I no longer have monetary debt

for consistency, routine and order in my life

that a good AA friend celebrates his 32nd anniversary of being sober

that pitchers & catchers report in Kissimmee, Florida, the spring-training home of the Houston Astros


Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

balloon dresses

"At the end of each day, you should play back the tapes of your performance. The results should either applaud you or prod you."
-- Jim Rohn

"Evaluation of the past is the first step toward vision for the future."
-- Chris Widener

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for all my experiences that will guide me today

that we visited my Mom yesterday and I was actually able to get her to crack a smile under her oxygen mask and to hold my hand; this is a slight improvement from 2 days earlier; her blood sugar levels are edging closer to normal and her fever is abating slowly

that we then visited my sister's home in rural Montgomery County and ate her scrumptous cooking

that Hayden has postponed returning to his home country for another week

"I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable; to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all."
-- Leo C. Rosten

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I woke up sober this morning, just like the past 1621 mornings

that these days when I get agitated, I know enough to just shut up

for the 10th step and the principle associated with it - perseverance

that my best thinking wanted me to stop trying AA; I am so glad I didn't give up 5 minutes before the miracle

that recovery helps to level out my playing field

that every sober day is unique; when I was drinking, especially in the last year, most days seemed the same as the day preceeding

God helps those who persevere.
-The Qur'an

Monday, February 11, 2008

Enjoying the day

Best Prayer I Have Heard In A Long Time...

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, showing patience, empathy and love.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my Mom continues to hang in there. She has lost the strength to even squeeze my hand to acknowledge my presence or questions, but she can nod her head a little bit. It's sad to see this in a woman who was alive and vibrant for her first 82 years. Next Sunday is her 85th birthday.

to hear a friend tell her AA story Saturday night with humor, conviction and honesty

for a good board meeting at Lambda where we, among other things, approved a new CMA (Crystal Meth Anonymous) meeting at the Center; there are now 3 CMA groups that meet each week at Lambda in addition to 40 AA and 2 Al Anon groups that meet there

that Houston has recently experienced the most beautiful weather nature has to offer

for Roy Scheider (75), a very talented actor who died yesterday

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; When health is lost, something is lost; When character is lost, all is lost!
-German Proverb

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Dogs & Cats (diaries)


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Boys will be boys...

This needs no explanation.

Have a GREAT Saturday!

Friday, February 08, 2008


It's L.U.E.Y. weekend here in Montrose (Houston) Texas. I don't participate, but my significant other does.

Leather anyone?

CLICK HERE to find out what's happening.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to realize that my less-than-good attitude can be as harmful to others as any other of my bad behaviors and actions

for the role models in my life

for my AA friend Ron, who broke his leg for the 2nd time in the past 6 months. Maybe he should not have bought that new Harley.

that my motives are almost always good

that my sponsor usually answers his phone or at least calls me back. I've heard of many sponsors who don't do either of those. They have nothing I want.

for integrity

that I've never been denied a visa to enter a country; see Amy Winehouse

for some immense assistance from a program friend

When I kick God out of the rooms of AA, alcohol will bring me back in.
~~ heard in a meeting

Thursday, February 07, 2008

at peace

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I can make subtle changes in my life and have new experiences

that we got to hear the AA story of a 19 year-old girl who has been sober 3 1/2 years -- I find this stuff absolutely amazing on so many levels.

for the new topic on SOBRIETY SOCIETY. Drop in and leave a comment.

for the Doppler Effect

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

I'm not a delegate

I stole this little gem from Todd, who lives in Hell's Kitchen.
Click on the box and take the test, if you dare.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a nice visit with Mom in her hospital room although she was mostly knocked out

for little reminders that most of my fears are imagined

for serenity's sake, I don't have to participate in the madness

that my twisted knee seems to be repairing itself as long as I let it

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

... to be continued

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my Mom seems to have pulled through yet another close call;
her blood sugar went out of control and she suffered a series of minor heart attacks

that I was sober and could drive to the hospital to meet the ambulance at 3am

that I could sit and hold her hand in peace,
and even though she was unconscious, we communicated

for the freedom and happiness that came my way after completing Step 9; I would never have believed it possible

for patience

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.

Monday, February 04, 2008

on awakening ...

Looking vaguely like marbled paper, the Belcher Islands meander over some 13,000 square kilometers (5,000 square miles) in southeastern Hudson Bay, but within that area, only 2,896 square kilometers (1,118 square miles) is dry land. NASA’s Landsat 7 satellite captured this image of the archipelago on August 9, 2000, when the far north’s brief summer was coming to an end. The mostly brownish hues of the land areas in this image attest to a lack of vegetation; cold temperatures prevent the growth of robust forests. The deep waters of the Hudson Bay appear almost black, with the exception of shallower areas close to land, which appear peacock blue. The archipelago’s small population makes use of the trading post in the town of Sanikiluaq.

Although they appear delicate, the Belcher Islands are actually composed of tough rock that has survived unimaginably long stretches of geologic time. The islands are composed of folded metasedimentary rock. Beginning as the minute grains of rock or dirt eroded off larger rocks by the actions of wind or water, sediments are often re-deposited elsewhere, eventually hardening into sedimentary rocks. If those rocks are subsequently subjected to intense heat and/or pressure, they change into metamorphic rocks. Metasedimentary rocks show evidence of both sedimentary and metamorphic processes, and geologists estimate that rocks in the Belcher Islands range in age from 1.6 to 2.3 billion years old.

NASA image created by Jesse Allen, using Landsat data provided by the University of Maryland’s Global Land Cover Facility. Caption by Michon Scott.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my program of recovery sometimes kicks in when I need it

that doing the next right thing is not always my preference, but it keeps me from feeling guilty

for the courage (stupidity?) to prance around Lambda Center in diapers just to help raise some money (out of respect for the Traditions of AA, I won't include any pictures) Yeah, right.

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
-Charles Varlet Marquis de La Grange

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Favorite Things

Julie Andrews turns 69.
To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music".
Here are the lyrics she used.

(Sing It! - If you sing it, it's especially hysterical!!!)

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts,
and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
when the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets
and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads
and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad!

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

And now, it's time for something funny from Donald Rumsfeld ...

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Jesus is watching you

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
The burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird 'Moses'?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

Friday, February 01, 2008

No problems to speak of

"The problem is not that there are problems.
The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -- Theodore Rubin

"Problems are good, not bad. Welcome them and become the solution. When you have solved enough problems, people will thank you."
-- Mark Victor Hansen

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have very few problems today

that most of the problems I have today are high-class ones

that someone needed to "vent" about their relationship yesterday in the midday AA meeting; that person has one month in the program, in their mid-20's, and is in an abusive relationship. She does not yet understand that she's most likely going to have to let that person go their own way. Certainly at this point, sobriety must come first, no matter what it may take or look like.
That concept will serve her well for a lifetime.

that my new gym opened yesterday. It's new, spacious, smells good and has brand new equipment.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
~~ anonymous