Conscious Contact

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 11.  "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

"Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine.  And for the same reason.  When we refuse air, light, or food, the body suffers."

Before I came into the rooms of recovery, I never prayed.  I had no Higher Power to pray to.  It took some conscious effort at first to get into a habit of daily, scheduled contact with my HP. Today, I can't imagine doing without it.  At least, as long as I stay sober.  If I begin drinking again, there will be no room for a HP other than alcohol.  For me, it's one or the other.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

– Joseph Campbell

Step Eleven "Sought through prayer ...

and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

It took me a lot of conscious practice just to get in the habit of a nightly prayer. I resisted this for half a century. But once I could do it every night (it took about 2 weeks for the habit to form) it became something I don't feel complete without doing. Learning to pray/meditate in the morning was more difficult. But today, at almost 7 years sober, I have formed the habit of a short prayer within the first few minutes of awakening. I simply ask for guidance in being the best I can be -- for today.

I'm not one to pray multiple times during the day, although yesterday could have used some additional prayer time.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm open to just about any suggestion

that Regina told her story of experience, strength and hope

that I was able to restart my day several times yesterday. It was just one of those days for me. I have had very, very few of these since I got sober, but there can be exceptions.

for the years I spent living in many countries. I hear so many people who think that the good old USA is the only place on this planet that can do anything right. People I respect, but who are simply ignorant of the richness of the different cultures of this world.


A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
- James Dent

freedom and willingness

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am almost always willing to find the solution

for the freedom that the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous gave us to have a Higher Power of our own understanding and to establish a conscious contact in our own way

that I now have an Al-Anon sponsor and am ready to begin learning the steps

that this cold weather will pass -- we are NOT used to freezing temperatures here


If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.
- Anna Quindlen

hot idea

A friend sent me some pictures of old, used bumper cars that have been restored as street-legal vehicles;

I'll share a few photos this week.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm nothing special in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, neither superior nor inferior. Just another sober drunk.

for another Step 11 meeting -- I guess during November, we'll see a lot of them and I like that

for Gratitude meetings as well

to see Pam writing to us again and sounding purty darn normal (for Pam) LOL

I bought my 2009 Murano one year ago today and it had about 15 miles on it -- it now has 7650 miles on the odometer


We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.
- Charles C. West

onward

one of the winners in a sand castle competition




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 11 improvement -- when I look at where I was 6 years ago when I stopped drinking, I am amazed at the evolution of my own spirituality. I also know that this must continue, and it will as long as I keep doing what I'm doing.

for Fi. She's a most lovely woman from Dublin who occasionally visits Houston and comes to AA meetings at Lambda while here. She shared her experience yesterday with us before headin gfo rthe airport and then back home to Ireland. I hope that she and my significant other can connect later this month while he is in Dublin.

that I saw a PBS salute to Bill Cosby, winner of the Mark Twain Prize. It included performances by well-known comics and musicians. Great stuff! I first knew of Bill cosby back in 1966 when he was just getting started. I think I had his first album. I would have been about 12 years old.

that I know from my own recent experience that Pam will come through her current situation just fine; it just takes time

that another baseball season is done; I'm not a Yankees fan

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
- Sioux Indian prayer

all over the place today

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some good Eleventh Step meetings recently, both showing me and reminding me of things I need to be doing

that I have solutions to all of the problems I have encountered so far in sobriety

for the Houston Roundup Service Auction held Saturday which raised several thousand dollars for their operating expenses

for Sunday breakfast with sober friends

that Mary Christine hasn't lost her job

to have the opportunity to witness some giant leaps in recovery in a friend

that I now begin working out at the gym without a trainer; personal budget cuts have resulted in giving up this luxury (if this ain't a high-class problem, I don't know what is LOL)

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
- Mahatma Gandhi

NOTE: for a good story, Click here

projecting nothing

These are sold in Washington D.C.

(click on the picture to enlarge)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that when I begin my day with a conscious contact with my HP, the rest of my day usually consists of a sub-conscious contact

for an extended period of no drama in my life resulting in a very, very serene and joyful last 2 or 3 weeks

that today's story is yet to be written


What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.
- Mother Teresa

Prayer and Meditation

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful


for a good Step Eleven meeting yesterday. "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."


People discussed their experience with practicing this step in their own lives. Someone shared how they over-analyzed those words and how they made life more difficult. I like to keep things as simple as possible.

As I practice Step 11, I utilize Bill W's definition of humility (I use this often for many applications). "A clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 58

Connecting those thoughts and concepts means (to me) that I do my best with what I've been given. It means that I should do the next right thing in each and every situation as the day moves forward.

Every morning, I ask for guidance to do these things as I make a conscious contact with my HP.
Not difficult at all. As long as I remember to use these tools.


What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
- Yiddish proverb

FYI

click on the pic to enlarge it



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


for steps 3 and 11 and the roles they play daily in my recovery

that my sponsor showed me the way and continues to be a fine example

that I heard the short AA story of Barbara L. yesterday. I don't know her very well even though I've seen her around Lambda Center the entire time of my sobriety. Today, I know her much better.




Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
-Robert Frost

Friday morning

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a sober Thursday in which I went to meetings where Step 11 was read from the Twelve & Twelve and then discussed

that two of my sponsees are on Step 4 but neither are making much progress (yet)

that I am really gonna try to be my best today (this includes being [more] careful about the words that roll off my tongue)

that 6 of us will join together and make a hospital visit this morning for a mutual friend who needs an AA meeting

that today is Boston's belly-button birthday - drop by and wish her well!

that I made a first-time investment in some gold -- I moved a little money around (some of what's left) and diversified.

No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.
-Francois Muriac

being aware

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am generally a responsible person; part of my alcoholic "bottom" was punctuated by several examples of being very, very irresponsible

that although I don't always improve my conscious contact with my HP, I don't disprove it either

for hands-on help from Scott W at my home; he's hanging some shelves and pictures for us, but mainly, his sense of placement is needed


Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
-Ann Landers

No Bull (please)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my Mom and everything she has meant to me - so far

for an 11th Step meeting yesterday that did me some good

for the hugely successful fundraising dinner & AA play we had at Lambda Center on Saturday -- as par tof the organizing committee, I happen to know that we expected about 40-50 for the dinner and maybe 80 for the play -- instead we had over 80 for the dinner and 130-ish for the play and we raised about $2400 for Lambda

that my 3 cats are enjoying their new home

that today is moving day -- all my old stuff is arriving from 6 weeks storage

Often God has to shut a door in our face so that He can subsequently open the door through which He wants us to go.
-Catherine Marshall

It really does ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have formed the habit of praying every morning. Each morning within minutes of waking up, I say a short prayer asking my HP for guidance to be the best I can be, for today. I ask for help in knowing the next right thing to do. (I feel that I don't have to ask to stay sober because that would be included in both of the forementioned requests.)

Yesterday morning I had plans to workout at the gym before going to my early AA meeting, followed by a sponsee meeting. As soon as I had prayed, I knew that I was supposed to go visit my mother in the hospital. I had taken care of all the details the previous night and had no intention to go see her yesterday. But I just knew it was the next right thing to do. And it was.
It turned out that my physical presence was necessary to make some decisions (I am her primary caretaker and hold complete power of attorney).

So all day long I felt totally serene and comfortable with myself. I knew that Step 11 had played a huge part in my day. Then I went to the 12:15pm meeting at Lambda. The topic?
Step 11.
(of course)

There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-Gandhi

Developing

How did this guy know he could do this?


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the mixture of Steps 10 and 11

that I am less judgemental than I used to be, but ...
when I see someone (in the program) lying through their teeth to me and others, it's very difficult impossible for me to remain non-judgemental (I guess I have a long way to go)

that alcohol and tobacco are just 2 more of my ex's

that we had our local elections yesterday, including the Mayor of Houston election with The Outlaw Josey Wales IV running against the incumbent Bill White

that one year from today, the Presidential election will be over!!!

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.
-William Feather

Spirituality

is the principle behind the Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This was a tough one for me. I was so close-minded about anything spiritual when I first joined AA. I was still under the belief that spiritual = religous.

Finally, my life unravelled enough that I was ready to her what I needed to hear. Someone shared in a meeting that ...
AA is not a religous program. Religion is for people who don't want to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.

Those few words opened the door for me just enough that I could get past a lifetime of prejudice against God and church. It was then that I could finally let go of my obsession to drink alcohol and stay drunk.

Step 3 has changed my life. And it still does.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I've been in a serenity zone for the past week

that my perceptions rarely have any basis in reality

that I'll visit my Mom in her nursing home this morning -- after a workout at the gym and an AA meeting

for all the items in my RECOVERY TOOL BOX
(click to inspect)

that our new gym will open in a couple of weeks; in the meantime, another gym has agreed to let us members use their facilities

that I am an agent of Satan, per Mickey

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy (get those cameras out now!)

that the painter begins work in the bathroom today -- it should take 2 days

Creativity is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God.
-Bob Moawad

The Future is Now

more pencils
(click on the pic for more detail)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

as a recovering alkie, that I have resources at hand to use when I am out of my mind (I refer to the Virginia Tech shootings yesterday)

that I am wrestling with my future and what it may look like

for prayer to help me when I just don't know what to do; the best guidance my HP gives me these days is to do nothing right now; nothing must be decided immediately

for those little reminders that I need to practice living in the moment instead of the future

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
-Unknown