Happy Anniversary, Robert

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my sponsor celebrates 11 years of continuous sobriety today. I can't imagine having a more effective sponsor -- for me! This man taught me to read between the lines when we worked the steps yet managed to keep it simple and meaningful. Brilliant stuff. We speak the same language and although we don't meet regularly like we used to, we are both there for each other if and when necessary.

that my home group hosted a once-a-month District-wide speaker meeting Saturday. The speaker we chose to talk was magnificent. Her story of what it was like, what happened and what it's like now kept me (and many others, I'm sure) on the edge of my seat for 50 minutes. I was pumped up all day yesterday just from that meeting. Cool!

for progress, both inside and out


Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Setting the tone for the week

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection .........

I hear some people (in recovery) use this phrase as an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Their thinking seems to be that it's OK to do the next wrong thing because their behavior is not as bad as it was when they were drinking.

I could not disagree more. I do not believe this is what Bill W. had in mind when he wrote this phrase. I think we're supposed to be the best we can be and not beat up on ourselves when we fall short. Today, I strive for excellence, knowing I am not a perfect human being. No one is.

My own spiritual progress has been amazing, considering I had virtually no idea of a spititual life in 2003 when I stopped drinking. Today, I do my best to follow a set of spiritual principles every day of my life.


Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.
- John F. Kennedy

thoughts

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I really, really try to keep it simple (everything)

to see progress in others; especially friends who have less than a year in the program

for second chances

for outside help; those in recovery who say it should not happen should keep their damn mouths shut. Actually, they are probably the ones who need it most.


Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

I woke up sober today (again).

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I don't wake up in the morning feeling a need to re-invent the wheel

to be able to see/recognize progress in others

that I have integrity - something crucial for my self-esteem

for this -- (overheard at my AA club) -- "A friend was given an award for his humility. When he accepted it, they took it away from him."


Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones - that is why they are called beliefs.

Behavior.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have much better behavior outwardly than I used to. My mind still "goes there" at times, but I don't usually behave too badly.

that I no longer spend any energy trying to find excuses for my bad behavior

for a new insight to doing a daily 10th step -- "Did my self-will cause me or another person difficulty today?"

for some progress and never perfection



If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

Back to ...

adversity


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for another day to practice the principles, as I understand them

for hope and faith, in everything. Well, I wish I had it all the time, but it may always be a work-in-progress.

for a nice weekend, weather-wise and recovery-wise

that my little game show project was successful; but mainly that it's finished. It was something in planning for almost 2 years (in my mind).


Not what we have, but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.
- Epicurus

Step Eleven "Sought through prayer ...

and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

It took me a lot of conscious practice just to get in the habit of a nightly prayer. I resisted this for half a century. But once I could do it every night (it took about 2 weeks for the habit to form) it became something I don't feel complete without doing. Learning to pray/meditate in the morning was more difficult. But today, at almost 7 years sober, I have formed the habit of a short prayer within the first few minutes of awakening. I simply ask for guidance in being the best I can be -- for today.

I'm not one to pray multiple times during the day, although yesterday could have used some additional prayer time.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm open to just about any suggestion

that Regina told her story of experience, strength and hope

that I was able to restart my day several times yesterday. It was just one of those days for me. I have had very, very few of these since I got sober, but there can be exceptions.

for the years I spent living in many countries. I hear so many people who think that the good old USA is the only place on this planet that can do anything right. People I respect, but who are simply ignorant of the richness of the different cultures of this world.


A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
- James Dent

I Identify

men can fix anything!




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to hear a wonderful speaker Saturday night - Cheryl L., whom I've only met briefly a couple of times at the 6:30am meeting. I asked her if we could share stories over breakfast soon as I would really like to get to know her better.
Cheryl spoke about being an alcoholic before she ever had her first drink. I identified with that.
Cheryl spoke about knowing at an early age that she was different. I identified with that.
Cheryl spoke about isolating amongst her peers during her growing up years. I identifed with that.
Cheryl spoke about that obsession to start drinking every morning, work be damned. I really identified with that.
... and on and on and on.

that I really feel like participating in my program. Is that called passion?



It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done over the squalls.
- Unknown

Workin' it ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some emphasis on Step 6 -- "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

that I can read Step 6 in the Twelve & Twelve and disregard the religous tone in which much of it is written

that I have (hopefully) learned to not say never

that I've learned to be content with patient improvement of my progress

that I sometimes find the willingness required of me to practive Step 6

that someone actually asked me to meet them at Starbucks for some of my Experience, Strength and Hope


To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
- Henri Bergson

Growth?

a Texas BBQ grill


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a meeting where I was reminded that when I am upset or angry, there's something wrong with me. I always want somebody else to blame. I really must remember how to respond to situations that are uncomfortable or that tend to upset me.

for progress in several areas of my life

that I know I have soooooooooooo much more to learn -- about me and my relations with the rest of the world

that Hurricane Ike appears to be headed well south of the Houston area

GROWTH

"But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances."
-- Vic Johnson

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."
-- Karen Kaiser Clark

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming."
-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."
-- May Sarton

mid week

todAAy AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Bill W and Dr Bob

that progress will never make perfection

for a good meeting with my new therapist (shrink, psychiatrist, etc...)

that an acquaintance (a waiter at a restaurant I frequent) asked me why I still go to AA meetings since I've been sober for 4+ years and I had a sober response; frankly, if I didn't still go to meetings I would not have been eating in his restaurant (LOL)

A superior person brings out the best in others.
-Chinese Proverb

another encore

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am more aware of my triggers than ever before

for tools to deal with those triggers, when I choose to use them

that I think I'm making progress against a few of my character defects

for severe thunderstorms that do no damage

that my little shoulder strain from working out is very treatable

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

-Anonymous

starting a new week...

A walker noticed an old lady sitting on her front step, so he walked up to her and
said, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On week-ends, I pop pills, get laid, and do no other exercise at all."
"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Twenty-four," she replied.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good meeting on relapse; the thought came to me that my recovery is NOT dependent on your sobriety. Comments??

that I survived another day of living inside of my head; it can be a very nasty place

that PJ (It's a Girl Thing) celebrated her One Year AAniversary 8 days ago. I was a bit slow in realizing it. Better late than never.

for the honesty I find so plentiful in recovery;
drop by and visit An Alcoholic's Story.

for progress, here and there

that MC changed her blog-name to One Sober Alcoholic
(I'm not sure why I'm grateful for this, but let's act as if, eh?)


Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
-Anais Nin

reality

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for progress in my "taking care of me" program

that a friend who relapsed this week is OK; he is in the hospital after getting mugged coming from a bar Wednesday night

that relapse is not part of my program -- as I watch others who go back out, I see how difficult it is to get back into recovery

for a Higher Power that is so understanding

that my feelings often have little to do with the facts

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
-- Carl. W. Buechner

TUESDAY

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I try to keep the twelve steps as simple as possible

for the times that I am aware of my progress, especially my emotional sobriety

for all the people who are willing to give it a try, even though many aren't quite ready to give it up (I really identify with these feelings since I was once there)

that I saw a former sponsee who has been out of contact for about 6 months -- he looked like a skeleton compared to his former self (another good in-my-face reminder)

some say the road gets narrower as they get more time, but sometimes I think the road just looks narrower because I am fatter.
- friend of Bill

and a bonus quote ...

Don't worry if your work is hard and your rewards are few. Remember the mighty oak was once a nut like you.
-Unknown

Now hear this ...

water tower located in north Houston

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

tomorrow night is Birthday Night @ Lambda Center where about 25 folks will celebrate another year of being sober

for the power of Honesty, Open-Mindedness & Willingness

that my behavior is sooooo much better than before getting sober, but I still have the potential for endless progress

that we're getting ready to start another even-numbered year -- I like those much better

Every time we open our mouths, men look into our minds.
-Anonymous

Eyes Open

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am still a work in progress and not the finished product

that any progress I make will be based on my self-honesty, open-mindedness to new concepts and my willingness to change

for the examples provided by others, without which, I would have no guidance

that I can still function reasonably well

for a funny and successful drag auction, benefitting the 2007 Houston Roundup

that I made it through the embarrasment of only talking for 35 out of the 55 minutes I was given to tell my story; I simply ran out of stuff to say (that's a first!)

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear.
-Glenn Clark

Willingness ...

is the sixth principle behind the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

As much as anything, I'm grateful that I was willing enough NOT to give up 5 minutes before the miracle.

My beginnings in AA were not pretty I was only willing to attend some meetings; I had NO intention of stopping drinking. It wasn't until I became willing to try something new that I began making any real progress.

This seems to remain true today with everything I do.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some new realizations of the connection between progression - obsessions - compulsion as those things relate to my alcoholism and alcoholic thinking and behavior

that my self will does not run quite so riot these days

that I usually try to take my fellows feelings into consideration

that Designer Girl is back from rehab - check out her blog It's a Girl Thing

for some real progress with the bathroom remodel -- the sheetrock is all up now

Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.
-Maimonides

In order to minimize confusion ...

(click on the pic

for greater detail)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some really helpful suggestions about how to deal with just about any problem --
One Day at a Time

that I am not the only person who usually doesn't get it the first time I hear something

for a really nice Step 9 meeting yesterday

that I am not beating myself up so often today because my relationship with a certain Trinidadian has hit the rocks; I am very comfortable knowing that I have done absolutely everything I can to allow it work and have been the best person I can be.

that I have volunteered to produce 3 very amateur art pieces for our AA Roundup Service Auction in September (watch out, SW)

When you rise in the morning, form a resolution to make the day a happy one for a fellow creature.
-Sydney Smith

No Expiration Date

Scott (Attitude of Gratitude),

Pam (Sobriety is Exhausting),

moi,

Zane (Zanejabbers)

We posed for this picture Saturday night just before an AA meeting which was followed by the annual Miss Lambda Contest (see post below).

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a full weekend of contentment

for a little more progress (tangible) on not depending on others to make me happy

that we raised $1500 Saturday night at Lambda Center; it'll pay the electric bill for June

that I have a full week ahead of me; no time for shenanigans

that Hayden made it to Ireland safely

"I'm looking forward to looking back on all this."
-Sandra Knell