Day # 3000 (and counting)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 2.  Me?  Insane?

that I didn't give up before I grasped the concept behind this step.  I could not (for the life of me) understand why it was necessary to accept a higher power.  But then I didn't have any intention of stopping drinking either.

that my insanity takes on slightly different looks today.  My thinking can still go "there".  If you don't believe me, just ask my partner.  He'll be more than happy to expound on this issue.

for the excitement this week at my recovery center (Lambda Center).  You can just feel it in the air.  It's tangible.  The fellowship is ready to celebrate our gratitude.

that I've gone 3000 continuous days without a beer, rum/coke or any other alcohol.
Incredible.  Amazing.  Higher Power.

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.

- old Persian Proverb

Steps 1, 2 & 3

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to know that I'm powerless over just about everything that happens

that my faith and trust in a HP brings me comfort, which in turn offers me some serenity and sanity

that I don't have to control anything except my behavior

I think you'll enjoy THIS.

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
- Leo Buscaglia

Step Two "Came to believe ...

that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."


It took a little while.
I ignored anything to do with church/religion since I was a teenager. Any mention of "GOD" sent me running or at least covering my ears. I was afraid something yucky might rub off on me. During the summer of 2003, sitting through dozens of meetings and occasionally listening to the experience of others who felt (or had felt) the same as me finally began to make some headway. I was not aware of that at the time though. But it was slowly working on me. Those last 3 months of drinking AND going to AA meetings coincided to transform my thinking and my attitude. By the end of August 2003, I was ready to accept that a power greater than myself might be able to help me (as if I needed help! HA!).

I had no clue about any insanity due to drinking. But I did think I was having a mental breakdown. But it had nothing to do with drinking. No way. No how.



todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had some visitors at the 6:30am meeting yesterday

for the annual Memorial Day picnic sponsored by Lambda Center - great fellowship!

that I went to an Astros game yesterday. We had a lot of sober fun, but the game was terrible (for an Astros fan).


Most of us spend our lives as if we have another one in the bank.
- Ben Irwin

into the unknown

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that early on in my life of AA meetings, I heard that God made the Earth round so that we wouldn't know what's around the corner.
This statement helped me get over the hump I had been facing in accepting a Higher Power. Not long after I heard this, I was able to surrender my drinking life over to my new concept of a HP. If you know someone who is having trouble with Step 2, you might want to mention it to them.

for another peaceful, serene weekend

that a friend I made 6 years ago when I first began going to AA meetings has returned. I had not seen him since I was about 4 months sober. Today, he has 6 days clean and sober and I hope he's ready to do whatever it takes. Somehow though, I have my doubts. We've had a couple of long talks over the weekend about getting sober -- and staying sober!!


Faith and doubt both are needed, not as antagonists, but working side by side to take us around the unknown curve.
- Lillian Smith

verification

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the writing is on the wall (in many AA rooms)

that Step 2 as it is written contains no mention of God

that I get up on the right side correct side of the bed every day

that it's true; yes, I am gay and proud of it


To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
- Unknown

Mary Travers died this week at the age of 72. I loved the music of Peter Paul and Mary.

off in the distance ...

During their walk on the lunar surface one of the astronauts (probably Buzz Aldrin) snapped this photo of the Lunar Module with Earth almost directly above.

todAay i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that sobriety brings me more perspective

for a fulfilling and exhilarating experience as guest speaker at an AA meeting in Austin, Texas. The last 2 times I "told my story", I was 15-20 minutes short of the alloted time period. Saturday night, however, the words seemed to just flow and I could have easily spoken for another hour I think. Instead of telling about my drunken days and nights, I focused on the unmanageable feelings of obsession and behavior behind my alcoholism.
It felt really good to get some of that stuff out in front of a group of recovering alkies.

that Steps 1, 2 and 3 got me sober

for lunch @ Luby's with the guys & girls


Nothing lowers the level on conversation more than raising the voice.
- Stanley Horowitz

hope and sanity

presenting the 2010 GM (government motors) Obamamobile



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

someone shared in a Step 2 meeting yesterday that a return to sanity means to him that he no longer thinks that a drink can or will make anything better

for hope that I may become even more sane than I am right now

that my partner had a safe flight to the UK; he'll be visiting there awhile

(Liz, he should be calling soon)

for indoor air conditioning (it's really hot here folks)


Tough times never last, tough people do.
- Robert Schuller

I'm now the speed limit

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the many concepts contained within the 2nd step

for the wisdom of Father Joseph Martin --- CLICK HERE

that I've only had 1 broken bone during my lifetime (so far), but my broken spirit was much worse. Fortunately it is healing nicely.

that today at 10:10am I made it to the ripe old age of 55


Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.
-Doug Horton

Me? Insane?

My cat MONO.

She was born on the night of my last drunk over 5 years ago.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had a nice discussion of Step 2 yesterday at the 6:30am meeting

that I didn't give up 5 days before the miracle; that's what I wanted to do

for all the years and all the countries and all the people I was lucky enough to meet and work with in all of those different cultures

that I choose not to air my dirty laundry in this forum mainly because of the friends and acquaintances who read this blog


Tough times never last, tough people do.
-Robert Schuller

Promptly

Bar Sues Local Church

In a small Texas town, a bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I can only live my life One Day at a Time

for a beneficial Step 2 meeting yesterday -- this question was posed ... "What does insanity look like in your life today, now that you're sober?"

that I am still an infant at relationships but don't have any temptation to drink when I temporarily fail

that I received my 150,000th hit on this blog overnight

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.
-William Feather

on a cloudy day ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that as I come to, the insanity seems to decrease

that some people trust me enough to confide in me

that Rodney and I went to see Vantage Point last night; I recommend it

that I'll never be a Governor caught in a scandal;
I don't care for politics

for another successful Shuttle launch early this morning

Don't regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
~ unknown

on awakening ...

I stole the video from "Just David"

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a continuing hope that the second half of Step 2
will someday come true for this alcoholic

that I am no longer Higher Powerless as I was when I first entered the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous

that I have lost about 18 pounds since I began working out and changing my eating habits -- 6 months ago

that I know some words with more than 8 letters

The greatest carver does the least cutting.
-Tao Te Ching

This is worthy of mention ...

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' for free (pink window in the middle).This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. So please click HERE or on the picture to help the cause.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the occasional bits of sanity provided me by my HP; the rest of the time, I just try to smile

that it's been over 4 years since I vomited whilst trying to eat something

that I wasn't driving the brand-new $200,000 Bentley I watched get hit in an accident yesterday

that I ate lunch yesterday at a table next to Dikembe Mutombo; he's got the longest legs I've ever seen (kinda like a sequoia tree)

that bathroom remodelling project #1 is about finished; just a few details remain (pictures will follow soon)

that I signed the contract for bathroom remodelling project #2 to begin next week

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-Stanislaw J. Lec


Ya'll have a GREAT weekend!!

Faith ...

is the principle behind Step Two of Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I read Step 2 on the wall at the first AA meeting or maybe my second meeting, I was about ready to get up and walk out. I wanted nothing to do with a Higher Power. I had not been to church in 30 years and wasn't about to start now.

Three months and about 100 meetings later, I was finally able to muster the bravado to admit that you guys -- the people in the meetings - could be my Higher Power. I was having none of this God stuff!

I put my faith in you guys because you said I could. You said it would suffice. For now.

You were right.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am not going to write about 9/11 - I will leave that to others

that I much prefer to take action rather than think about it

for a wonderful meeting on Step 12 and input from many on numerous avenues of carrying the message

for the Twelve Steps of AA and an almost infinite number of recovery tools to help me get through the bad times ---

AND the good times too!

for the luxuries in my life, not highlighted by anger or resentment

for Johnny Depp

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers