This is draining and humourous

THIS may come in handy for you someday.


Enjoy this...



courtesy of Todd at Postcards from Hell's Kitchen

Brain test

1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999969999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3- Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist. Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.


Congratulations!

Oh. One more test....

Find the 44th USA President.











Well, congratulations, you're not color blind either!

these boots were made for walkin'

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that you guys were right

that it's all pretty simple

that I'm not in charge

that we all play a part

that I've only just begun

that I don't know how little I know

for the promise of a beautiful weekend


There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap.'
- Carrie Fisher

back again (in case you were wondering)

motorized barstool

(I just used my car instead)



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that I volunteered to chair the noon meeting for each Wednesday in June; this is a speaker/discussion group, so I get to pick whom I want to share their (short) story, AKA what it was like, what happened and what it's like now

that I already have 3 speakers lined up for June -- LOL

that I've had such a blessed life

for 2092 days of an alcohol-free life

that I'm a television addict and I'm not afraid to admit it or correct it

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Russell Lynes

Gratitude list

Man of Few Words










todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we finished reading A Vision for You in the Big Book study group I attend -- next week we'll start (again) the stories in the 4th edition

for no blackouts or lost days since 2003; that coincides with the first day I got sober

for the freedom to become the person I should be

that those who said I was in denial were wrong. At least I think they were wrong. Weren't they?


Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.
- Maimonides

Welcome home

This is good to view on any day. Doesn't have to be on Memorial Day.


todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the Lambda picnic yesterday --- an almost cloud-less day with midday temps about 84 degrees. There must have been 50-60 sober recoverettes and enough food to feed many more. As far as I know, nobody got drunk or used any drugs improperly.

that a sponsee and I went to an 8pm meeting last night away from Lambda; I had not been there in 2-3 years but knew almost everyone there. That's kind of cool.

that during my working years, I was more often gruntled than disgruntled


Life is like a mirror. If you frown at it, it frowns back. If you smile at it, it returns the greeting.
- Herbert Samuels

Memorial Day

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the countless Americans who've given so much so that I can sit here and type at will

for Bob S., a good friend at Lambda, who is 85 and was in the Navy in WWII in the Pacific region. He goes to a meeting every day and is very active in his recovery. He remains an inspiration to all who know him. He's been sober 33 years.

that we've got a Memorial Day Lambda Center picnic today @ Memorial Park

that I'm almost never wrong -- about anything!
There! I said it. I feel better now.

that I watched Night at the Museum last night on TV -- I loved it and now want to see the sequel that was just released


All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
- Lucy, Peanuts

Bicycle dog

making pancakes

Fellowship

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the benefits of not being alone anymore -- those days of sitting alone on a barstool are my history, but don't have to be part of my future

that I have more friends than I'm willing to acknowledge -- for example, I have over 200 Facebook "friends", most of whom are in recovery

for the drama that I won't create today - hopefully

that I've been taking myself much too seriously and need to remember Rule 62 (see Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 149)

that a few of us went to the baseball game last night -- fellowship!!


When all is said and done, more is said than done.
- Lou Holtz

No place like home

Don't look now, but can you guess who lives here?

(the answer is at the bottom of yesterday's post)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my friend Ricky!! (One Day One Step) is posting again. Drop by to say howdy to a really great guy.

that Mary Christine reminded me of something I heard and sometimes remember to use when not sure whether to say or react to someone...

1. does it need to be said?


2. does it need to be said now?


3. does it need to be said by me?

for Scott W's new red shoes! Wow!!

that I'm finally finished with my latest dental work; getting implants, which took 7 months and way too much money

that I finally sold my 1967 Ford Thunderbird; it had been sitting at a car lot on consignment since December. Now, we're just a 2-car family.


The more you have, the more you're occupied; the less you have, the more free you are.
- Mother Teresa

it's never the same

He may have a tough time finding a buyer.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that we read a few pages from Chapter 11 of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) yesterday.
These words mean so much to me because I absolutely identify with them ...

"He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it.
Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end."


that I have so many opportunities to pass along my experience, strength and hope

for discussions about the infinite number of types of relationships

that my life will never be the same

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
- Kahlil Gibran

Answer to No Place Like Home -- John Travolta

a bit lethargic

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had a first-time newcomer at the noon AA meeting yesterday -- he was very receptive and seemed to take it all in quite well

to see more clearly how unmanageable my life was for so many years

for the feeling that I'm just kinda going through the motions the past few days -- it's an odd feeling for me; nothing real good, nothing particularly bad

that most of the good things in my life require very little of my own willpower, but they do require my participation


The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

getting older by the minute

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the longer I stay sober, the older I am

for some lovely, cooler weather that allowed us to have a friendly BBQ in the backyard

for the men and women who put forth the effort Saturday night at Lambda for the annual Mr/Ms Lambda Contest (it was a drag show)

HERE is one performance from that show

Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
- Janet Long

That's no bull

some of these are kinda punny

Creative Puns for Educated Minds

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was ----Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, ----but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, ----but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class ----because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder ----and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, ----it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road ----and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France ----would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. ----They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. ----Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. ----The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism ----is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. ----One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.---- Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ----'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.---- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road ----is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison ----was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray ----is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet ----writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. ----In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, ----they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: ----Practice safe sects !

True or False

patience

and

wisdom



todAAy, we're doing a True / False test....

1. The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. true or false

2. Much of the everyday talk we hear highlights man's pride in his own achievements. true or false

3. Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted. true or false

4. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance and true love of man and God the daily basis of living. true or false

5. As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. true or false

Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.
-Alphonse Karr

just a few words

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that David G. told his story to us yesterday -- very touching and very qualifying

for so many freedoms (I know I've said this before, but it's true, it's true!!)

for wasted days and wasted nights --- well, you guys said to NOT regret the past, and I don't because it's what got me here


Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.
-Lou Brock

Just don't do it

intimate corner


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

in an AA meeting yesterday, I was asked to share about my technique of relapse prevention. I told 'em that the best method I have found is to not drink alcohol.

for the fellowship I enjoy before just about every AA meeting that I attend. I often arrive 30 minutes to an hour early.

that my bosses (when I worked) trusted me to get the job done


Catch on fire and people will come for miles to see you burn.
-John Wesley

I'm blessed to have another day

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good night's sleep - I remember when I was drinking, a good night's sleep was only something other people had.

that we had 16 humans in our 6:30am meeting yesterday; it's been at least a couple of years since we had more than 15; it's usually about 10

that we discussed Step 10 at the nooner; it seems so all-encompassing

that all is well in my life recently; I don't care to search for any drama


You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.
- Chinese Proverb

Back to the grindstone

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I was able to handle Mother's Day without any problem. It was my first MD since she died last August.

for a most incredible AA story of survival and recovery that I heard Saturday night -- some seem to think that it's too much to believe. Time will tell.

for reminders of my very full spiritual toobox

that our Houston Rockets (basketball) beat the LA Lakers yesterday even though we were without the help of our 2 top players (both injured). The Rockets actually decimated the other team. Very unexpected.

that I enjoy doing yard work, which this weekend mostly involved pulling weeds in the Serenity Garden @ Lambda Center


The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.
-Victor Hugo

Livin' in Texas

THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING RAISED IN TEXAS

a.. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

b.. There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas .

c.. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before.

d.. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

e.. Onced and Twiced are words.

f. ..People actually grow and eat okra.

g.. 'Fixinto' is one word.

h... There is no such thing as 'lunch.'There is only dinner and then supper.

I.. *Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

j.. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

k.. DJeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

l.. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

m.. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

n.. You measure distance in hours.

o. You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

p.. 'Fixing' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

q.. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

r.. You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.

s.. There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

t.. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

u.. 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

v.. We have four seasons: Almost Summer,Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

w.. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or off to 'Wally World.'

x.. A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

y.. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What Kinda coke you want?'

z.. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

Caulking Gun

Italics

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a great weekend to look forward to

that I had an appointment with my psychiatrist (first time since December) and I'm still a free person. Those guys with the straight-jackets were not for me (yet).

that I was directed to a really great place to find reading glasses

that an appriaser will finally come by to do his thing today in preparation of refinancing our mortgage


Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
-William Jennings Bryan

Thursday

eliminate spillage

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we heard the new AA story of a young woman with 40 days in the program. I must admit that she would not have been my choice, simpley because she is so new. But she deserves much credit for having the courage to sit in front of a group of recovering alkies and relate her story.

for dinner at a friend's very, very eclectic home. She celebrated 25 years of sobriety 2 days ago.

that my back (L5) is much better. I strained it a few days ago and that stirs up my chronically bad sciatic nerve.


Think it more satisfactory to live richly than die rich.
-Sir Thomas Browne

Daily maintenance

"Meet me on the balcony."



"Which one?"







todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm alcohol-free and nicotine-free today -- again!

for an afternoon spent helping a new friend in recovery find a place to live

that I no longer have to look elsewhere for my happiness (this is HUGE for me)

that I seem to have surrounded myself with so many wonderful and practical examples of effective recovery; all I have to do to learn is to keep my eyes and ears open


There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.
-Victor Hugo

Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo is a date of great importance for the Mexican and Chicano communities. It marks the victory of the Mexican Army over the French at the Battle of Puebla. Although the Mexican army was eventually defeated, the "Batalla de Puebla" came to represent a symbol of Mexican unity and patriotism. With this victory, Mexico demonstrated to the world that Mexico and all of Latin America were willing to defend themselves of any foreign intervention. Especially those from imperialist states bent on world conquest.

Cinco de Mayo's history has its roots in the French Occupation of Mexico. The French occupation took shape in the aftermath of the Mexican-American War of 1846-48. With this war, Mexico entered a period of national crisis during the 1850's. Years of not only fighting the Americans but also a Civil War, had left Mexico devastated and bankrupt. On July 17, 1861, President Benito Juarez issued a moratorium in which all foreign debt payments would be suspended for a brief period of two years, with the promise that after this period, payments would resume.

The English, Spanish and French refused to allow president Juarez to do this, and instead decided to invade Mexico and get payments by whatever means necessary. The Spanish and English eventually withdrew, but the French refused to leave. Their intention was to create an Empire in Mexico under Napoleon III. Some have argued that the true French occupation was a response to growing American power and to the Monroe Doctrine (America for the Americans). Napoleon III believed that if the United States was allowed to prosper indescriminantly, it would eventually become a power in and of itself.

In 1862, the French army began its advance. Under General Ignacio Zaragoza, 5,000 ill-equipped Mestizo and Zapotec Indians defeated the French army in what came to be known as the "Batalla de Puebla" on the fifth of May.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the freedoms I realized after completing my ninth step almost 5 years ago

that a sponsee called me last night and I actually told him what to do (I rarely do this; I usually just make suggestions)

that I'll probably never have a parade named after me

the Rockets won!! On to game 2.


The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
-G.K. Chesterton

The Steps

This ladder seems like a pretty cool invention.









todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I heard some of the experience, strength and hope of a fellow member of Alcoholics Anonymous Saturday night. A man with 14 years of sobriety with whom I can really relate.

that I'm currently working on Steps 1, 6 and 7 with 3 different sponsee's

for a Saturday afternoon spent at home, by myself, being happy and productive

that I'm part of the Houston Roundup this year (again) - I really enjoy being involved

that Pam's computer is well

that I told you this guy was to good to be true


Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
~~ unknown

The Cougar and the Bear

disclaimer

Please do not be offended. These are for comedic purposes only.




Mexican words of the day



1. *Cheese*

The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese fat.



2. *Mushroom*

When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.



3. *Shoulder*

My fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn't know how to read so I shoulder.



4. *Texas *

My fren always Texas me when I'm not home, wondering where I'm at!



5. *Herpes*

Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.



6. *July*

Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!



7. *Rectum*

I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!



8. *Chicken*

I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.



9. *Wheelchair*

We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair.



10. *Chicken* *wing*

My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.



11. *Harassment*

My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey harassment nothing to me.



12. *Bishop*

My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.



13. *Body wash*

I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.



14. *Budweiser*

That women over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?

Happy May

Barbie recently turned 50. Our photographers were there.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that AA is not a cult, but it does allow me to experience a different culture

for the superb Step One meeting we had yesterday -- we read the first chapter in the 12/12 and then discussed it

that I finally realized why it was necessary to confess my faults and make restitution to those I had harmed. At first, I wondered what the hell those things had to do with my drinking. And why would I need to learn to meditate and pray?

that More is Being Revealed, just like y'all said would happen


Miracles sometimes occur, but one has to work terribly hard for them.
-Chaim Weizmann