Thursday, October 18, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

My first bathroom remodelling project is finally complete after 7 weeks.
Click on the picture for a slideshow. It's a small bathroom, only 5'X7', so take that into account. It was difficult to get good pictures without a special lens.

HERE is the HNT website


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my Mom -- she is bed-ridden and cannot speak or walk (due to a stroke). She barely has the strength to write and can only make a few illegible scratches on paper. Yesterday I spent about an hour trying to decipher some marks on a piece of paper. Finally, I figured it out. She was trying to spell "book" and wanted me to read Joel Osteen's new book to her. She saw it on TV and knew about it from that media. Once I knew what she wanted, we both laughed about the difficulty in our communication. We go through this almost every week.

that often I don't have a clue about the next right thing to do, but I almost always know the next wrong thing to do

that I have always had enough to eat and a place to sleep

that, as a recovering alcoholic, I will always have a place to go, wherever I am

that the bathroom you may have looked at (above) is finally done; one more to go

Humor is tragedy plus time.
-- Mark Twain

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hump Day

HUMILITY

"We grow small trying to be great." -- E. Stanley Jones

"I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps." -- Mahatma Gandhi

"If we become increasingly humble about how little we know, we may be more eager to search." -- Sir John Templeton

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that when I type my gratitude list, I have the keys to happiness at my fingertips

that one of the best methods for me to get out of my head is to speak with a newcomer or someone who has recently relapsed

for a reminder that if I am to have any chance of becoming anything close to a useful human being, I must maintain a conscious contact with my Higher Power

that my only real problems today are the ones I create in my head, which in turn, means they aren't real problems anyway

for a new topic on SOBRIETY SOCIETY -- drop in and leave a comment

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy, cameras out please

"You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit."
-- Harry S. Truman





Tuesday, October 16, 2007

on second thought ...

HOPE

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence." -- Helen Keller


"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again." -- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope." -- Martin Luther

"The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof." -- Barbara Kingsolver

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my morning coffee provides grounds for serenity and peace

that I went to a Monday night AA meeting @ Lambda because I missed my regular noontime meeting

that I went shopping with my bathroom contractor to pick out fixtures and tiles for the next project, which begins tomorrow!

I should have pictures of the first bathroom (completed) this week

for some needed rain overnight and waking up to cool (for Houston) temps

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.
-Agatha Christie

Monday, October 15, 2007

Eyes Open



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am still a work in progress and not the finished product

that any progress I make will be based on my self-honesty, open-mindedness to new concepts and my willingness to change

for the examples provided by others, without which, I would have no guidance

that I can still function reasonably well

for a funny and successful drag auction, benefitting the 2007 Houston Roundup

that I made it through the embarrasment of only talking for 35 out of the 55 minutes I was given to tell my story; I simply ran out of stuff to say (that's a first!)

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear.
-Glenn Clark


Sunday, October 14, 2007

A Spiritual Awakening

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

The joy of living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step,
and action is its key word.

When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone.

We may often pass through Twelfth Step experiences where we will seem to be temporarily off the beam. These will appear as big setbacks at the time, but will be seen later as stepping-stones to better things.

All of the above sentences are from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve.

I'm just reminding myself of what they have to say.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Blog Action Day

Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day
On October 15th - Blog Action Day, bloggers around the web will unite to put a single important issue on everyone's mind.
In its inaugural year, Blog Action Day will be co-ordinating bloggers to tackle the issue of the environment.

(click on the banner to navigate to the website)

Watch the video


Friday, October 12, 2007

This is worthy of mention ...

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on 'donating a mammogram' for free (pink window in the middle).This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors /advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. So please click HERE or on the picture to help the cause.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the occasional bits of sanity provided me by my HP; the rest of the time, I just try to smile

that it's been over 4 years since I vomited whilst trying to eat something

that I wasn't driving the brand-new $200,000 Bentley I watched get hit in an accident yesterday

that I ate lunch yesterday at a table next to Dikembe Mutombo; he's got the longest legs I've ever seen (kinda like a sequoia tree)

that bathroom remodelling project #1 is about finished; just a few details remain (pictures will follow soon)

that I signed the contract for bathroom remodelling project #2 to begin next week

You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-Stanislaw J. Lec


Ya'll have a GREAT weekend!!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy


I did not get around to creating a picture for today. Sorry.

This is a rerun from last year. It's one of my favorites.

HNT website


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I will always be accountable - to me!

that I've never had to sleep outside because I had no other place to sleep

that my health allows me to do just about anything I wish

that most situations don't require me to repair them

that I am much more aware today of the ways I try to manipulate people

that (once again) I will be telling a little bit of my experience, strength and hope on Saturday night @ Lambda (they only give me an hour, so I'll have to keep it short)

It is vain to expect our prayers to be heard, if we do not strive as well as pray.
-Aesop

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

No Smoking (please)

It began with a few Marlboro and then Winston cigarettes when I was 16 years old. By the time I was 17, I was smoking a pack each day. A year later after graduating from high school and no longer running track, my consumption rose to 2 packs each day. By the age of 20 I could smoke up to 3 packs/day.

This consumption rate continued unabated for the next 32 years. I changed to Salem menthols in my early 20's and smoked those exclusively for about 20 years. I smoked Marlboro Lights for the last 10 years of smoking.

Finally, enough was enough. Scott W. had become a non-smoker in 2005 simply by reading a book AND wanting to stop. He made it look so easy. I tried it and it worked. This happened one year ago -- today!

If you want to stop, get this book and give it an honest read.

It could save your life.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have so many choices

that I can change my minds

that people trust me enough to voice their problems to me

for
THIS LINK to some A.A. PSA's

that I no longer have cigarette breath

that I no longer need leg surgery to repair vascular damage caused by nicotine

that I no longer spend hundreds of dollars each month on cigarettes

that I no longer feel uncomfortable without a pack of cigs on me

There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.
- unknown

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Things I know ...



HEALTH

"Cardiovascular problems alone in America create over a thousand funerals a day… and 90% of the problem is neglect." -- Jim Rohn

"Laughter is the most healthful exertion." -- Christoph Wilhelm Hufeland

"It may be possible to incorporate laugher into daily activities, just as is done with other heart-healthy activities, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. The recommendation for a healthy heart may one day be exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day." -- Michael Miller

"We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific concrete, individualized unique." -- Benjamin Jowett


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good reminder that sobriety is NOT a cure for alcoholism

for my resentment prevention program -- it's called Step 4!

that this little pink cloud I've been floating on still remains ... sure wish I could bottle it and save it

that I am soooooo good at handling routine -- please don't take away my routine!

that I will never be a porn star
(somehow, this role bypassed me)

Patience is also a form of action.
-Auguste Rodin

Monday, October 08, 2007

just thinkin' ...


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I hear or see the things I need to hear or see, so often

that when I managed to stop drinking alcohol, coincidences became just another part of my HP's plan

that I have never been a procrastinator

for an afternoon spent with Zane in Old Town Spring (at the People's Choice Recovery Shoppe where I got the 4-year medallion) and in The Woodlands, Texas [click on the highlighted words]

while reading THIS blog, I was reminded that I have not been to Washington D.C. since Eisenhower was president. Does this make me an old relic or just a Republican? (I don't consider myself either of those) My parents took my sister and I there on vacation in 1960.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
-Victor Borge

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Happiness

I am still in a "recovery zone" of sorts, so instead of my usual Sunday joke, I am giving you this today...

"To make a man happy, fill his hands with work, his heart with affection, his mind with purpose, his memory with useful knowledge, his future with hope, and his stomach with food."
-- Frederick e. Crane

"Happiness comes when you believe in what you are doing, know what you are doing, and love what you are doing."
-- Brian Tracy

"Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses."
-- Dale Carnegie

"To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition."
-- Samuel Johnson

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Tats & Forgiveness

tattoo remover



FORGIVENESS
"Bitterness and an unforgiving spirit can be likened to you taking poison and expecting that someone else would die from the effect. Forgiveness is about setting the prisoner in your heart free only to discover that all along, you had been the real prisoner."
-- 'Tope Popoola

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."
-- Robert Muller

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed."
-- Bernard Baruch

"We are supposed to forgive everyone; everyone includes ourselves."
-- Denis Waitley

Friday, October 05, 2007

The Power of Attitude

click on the picture to enlarge


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to talk and share about the power of attitude

for reminders about awareness and how it has led to so many changes in my 4 years of recovery

for responsibilities, and the integrity to live up to them

that as a sober man, I can eat 3 square meals each day instead of just putting something in my stomach every 2 or 3 days

that the bathroom remodelling project is about 80% or 90% complete

that Hayden made it home to Trinidad safely

that I made it through yesterday in one peace
(I always have a difficult time departing Hayden for extended periods)

that this is my 1600th post on this blog

Half an hour's meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed.
-St. Francis de Sales



Thursday, October 04, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

Photoshop can be fun.

see if anyone else is having fun today ... click HERE

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to listen to the life story (short version) of an acquaintance yesterday; quite the tale it was

for a belated AA birthday lunch from a good friend; he treated Hayden and I to a scrumptious and healthy lunch

that I can now drive at night without fear of getting a DUI

for the past 4 months while Hayden has been here (well, most of it ~~ LOL)

When all is said and done, more is said than done.
-Lou Holtz

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Proceed with caution

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dogs at WALMART and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both."

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
(This is not a true story. It is a joke. If you don't like it, call your sponsor.)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we read Bill's Story yesterday at the Eyes Wide Shut meeting; the discussion afterward was great as we each told at least one way that we identified with his story

that I no longer have to look away from people so they won't smell alcohol on my breath

for the concept of killing 2 birds with 1 stone

that smiling at someone costs me nothing

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy, so get your cameras out now!

"It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson."
-- Emmet Fox

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

What It's Like ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get to practice love and tolerance just about all the time, even when I'm alone

that of all the things I think I need, my health is the only one that matters

for the power of Step 3 in my life as I try to remember to practice it many times daily

for a quality day spent with Hayden and the realization that we have not had any type of argument in weeks (that's amazing for us)

for his persistence/perseverance in frugality

for great progress in the bathroom remodel -- all the plumbing fixtures were installed yesterday

that the hills are alive with the sound of music

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
-Jean Cocteau

Monday, October 01, 2007

Trudging the road ...



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the wonderful fellowship on Saturday night at the annual birthday celebrations of those in recovery at Lambda Center - even got to visit with Pam!

that Pam gave me the button pictured above -- she received it 16 years ago shortly after she got sober and has had it ever since (until now)

for the lifetime gifts from Hayden (ostensibly for my sobriety anniversary)

that I have continued to do my best, the result being that I am still sober and learning a new way of life

that I got to watch (on television) the final game of the 20-year career of Craig Biggio (baseball player)

Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.
--Landrum Bolling

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Lincoln & Kennedy

Here's some Sunday information for you to read, learn and recite at the office tomorrow.
I had forgotten some of these similarities.


Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat !
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker": A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.

Weird.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

On a lighter note ...

HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING SEATMATES

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train - follow these instructions: (and maybe say goodbye!).

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
6. Click THIS link.

ALSO ...




This is why women have 2 hands.



This is why men have 2 hands.


Friday, September 28, 2007

Service

is the principle behind Step 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous.

The happiest people I know are those who have learned to live beyond their own special interests by discovering the rewards that come from giving of themselves.
Winfield C. Dunn


Recovery-related service comes in an infinite number of forms. If one can do nothing more than show up at a meeting, that is probably some of the greatest service we can give to one another.
After all, if no one came to meetings ...


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to spend quality time with friends

that I am as honest with other humans as I can possibly be -- the rewards are certainly worth the effort

that tomorrow is Boston's 2-year sobriety birthday --
drop by and tell her howdy and wish her well!!

that tomorrow is birthday night @ Lambda Center -- we'll get to see Pam again and for the first time, Hayden will be here to join me on my birthday celebration (I'm afraid I will lose it when I speak; oh well, it won't be the first time)

that Hayden returns from Atlanta today and we can spend a few days together before he goes back home

It is a funny thing about life: If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
-Somerset Maugham


Thursday, September 27, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

In the beginning, the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous would pass a hat during a meeting with the hope that a few attendees would contribute a coin or two.

In the years since, it's common to donate a dollar bill at a meeting. With rising costs everywhere we look, today many groups ask that we donate 2 dollars.

We all give what we can, but part of the magic of AA is the freedom we all have. I don't have to donate any money at all if I don't feel like it.

look at some personal pictures of more givers HERE


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am usually comfortable with who I am

that I had the privelege of hearing a man with 9 months of sobriety tell how he came to be in AA. He is another reminder of the daily miracle we are all blessed with.

that I was born with so much

for changes ...
... in my thinking
... in my actions

to see a lot of visual progress in my bathroom remodelling project

If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator.
-W. Beran Wolfe

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Spirituality

is the principle behind the Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This was a tough one for me. I was so close-minded about anything spiritual when I first joined AA. I was still under the belief that spiritual = religous.

Finally, my life unravelled enough that I was ready to her what I needed to hear. Someone shared in a meeting that ...
AA is not a religous program. Religion is for people who don't want to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.

Those few words opened the door for me just enough that I could get past a lifetime of prejudice against God and church. It was then that I could finally let go of my obsession to drink alcohol and stay drunk.

Step 3 has changed my life. And it still does.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I've been in a serenity zone for the past week

that my perceptions rarely have any basis in reality

that I'll visit my Mom in her nursing home this morning -- after a workout at the gym and an AA meeting

for all the items in my RECOVERY TOOL BOX
(click to inspect)


that our new gym will open in a couple of weeks; in the meantime, another gym has agreed to let us members use their facilities

that I am an agent of Satan, per Mickey

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy (get those cameras out now!)

that the painter begins work in the bathroom today -- it should take 2 days

Creativity is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God.
-Bob Moawad


Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Perseverance

is the principle behind the Tenth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Once I had learned about and put into practice the first nine steps, I was told that Step 10 is one of the "maintenance steps." As long as I remember that I'm not perfect and never will be perfect, step 10 offers me the chance to right my wrongs as they occur. It asks me to do so promptly and not waste time. This requires me to constantly inventory my behavior and never let up. If I let up, my character defects will jump right in and champion themselves. By persevering with my personal inventory, these defects can be kept minimal.

Make sense?


Oh yeah, a great example of perseverance is ...
"Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle."
This can be true to so many of life's situations.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today I can't be perfect, but I can be excellent!

for gratitude meetings

that a newcomer is actually calling me on the phone

that I have Hayden's complete and total support for all things regarding my recovery -- I mention this after reading a few blogs the past several days in which spouses are not always supportive

that the tile guys will complete their work today on the bathroom #1 remodel -- the rest of the week will be the painters turn

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
-- Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, September 24, 2007

Discipline

is the principle behind the Ninth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous.


I heard early on in recovery that nothing changes if nothing changes. It took a little while for this to sink in, but now I get it.

In order for this alkie to stop drinking, I first had to become aware that alcohol was making my life miserable. Nothing else, just alcohol. Then I had to become willing to do something about it. Such as stop drinking! Once I had stopped, it has taken the discipline to continue working a program of recovery, which includes making many chages in my life and lifestyle.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I could be part of a successful fundraiser for the 2007 Houston Roundup which was held at Lambda Center Saturday night; I think it raised about $6000 over a 2-hour period

that my life today is better than it was when I was drinking


for a pretty quiet weekend, mostly by myself

that my sister and I met up at my Mom's nursing home, merely by coincidence

that I have yet to make a list of my pet peeves; why be negative?

that I didn't go ballistic when I was wronged by a retail salesperson (in my previous life, I would have yelled and cursed until I had made more than a complete fool of myself)

that I have never been in a police chase

Security is not the absence of danger, but the presence of God, no matter what the danger.
-Anonymous



Sunday, September 23, 2007

In case you didn't know ...

The Animal Rescue Site is in need of additional funds.
Check it out HERE ...



Now, for something more important.
This is news and information that you can take with you today.
Or later this week.

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you Proud to be American, DOESN'T IT?


Have a nice day.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

SATurday



Sometimes when you are angry with someone,

it helps to sit down and think about the problem.




An out-of-breath 7 year-old girl ran up to her grandfather, who was tinkering in his workshop, and confronted him with the universally dreaded (by adults) question. "What is sex...?"

He was surprised she'd ask such a question at her age, but thought if she's old enough to ask, she's old enough to get a straight answer. He wouldn't shirk his responsibility. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to describe for her all the variations of human sexuality he could conjure, careful to impress upon her the joys and responsibilities of intercourse and procreation.

When finally Grandpa was done pontificating, the little girl stood frozen, as though nailed to the spot, and looked at him with her mouth open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing she was overwhelmed, he asked what caused her sudden curiosity.

His granddaughter shook off her reverie and replied, "Grandma says dinner will be ready in a couple of secs."

Friday, September 21, 2007

Brotherly Love ...


is the eighth principle behind the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I try my best not to make the steps any more difficult than necessary (for me). At this point, I am simply making a list of persons harmed during my lifetime. Most if not all of these people have already appeared on my 4th step. Additionally, it's time to become ready to make amends to such people. This may take a little more time, but my willingness to practice love for them AND myself is paramount.
Until I can attain this level of willingness, my progress in recovery may well be stifled.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I stopped digging my alcoholic hole just in time

for some insight into how I keep contact with my HP

that we had an interesting meeting about Easy Does It

that I have been pampering myself this week; staying sober and enjoying recovery, a manicure and pedicure, a 2-hour massage, a new and stronger workout program with my trainer

that I have only spent 1 night in a hospital -- when I was 5 years old and had my tonsils removed

There are two kinds of people: those who do the work, and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.
-Indira Gandhi

Thursday, September 20, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

FRIENDS


HERE are some of my HNT friends

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I don't have a clue what my life will look like a year from now, so I'll just keep trudging the road

for the gratitude lists that I continue to receive from various people in recovery

that some of my old behavior is history and nothing but a memory

that Hayden arrived in Atlanta safely and on time

for multiple reruns of The Twilight Zone on the Sci-Fi channel

the tile man starts work today @ the bathroom remodel


Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
-Carl Bard

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Humility ...


is the seventh principle behind the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My favorite mantra since I entered the world of recovery is found on page 58 of the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. It reads ...


"Another great dividend we may expect from confiding our defects to another human being is humility -- a word often misunderstood. To those who have made progress in A.A., it amounts to a clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be."

Nuff said.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my Mom's health remains stable 23 months after a major stroke -- she is not able to eat or speak, however (howz that Liz?)

that we read the Forewords to the Big Book (4th edition) yesterday at the 6:30am meeting

that when I don't get my way, I tend to experience life's necessary lessons

that I have finally realized this ... half of my problems are how I relate to other people; the other half of my problems are how I don't relate to other people

that Pam reminded me yesterday to work on my own character defects and not anyone else's

that my next-door neighbor knew who to call when I had a plumbing leak at 10pm last night

It is human to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.
-Anatole France

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Willingness ...

is the sixth principle behind the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

As much as anything, I'm grateful that I was willing enough NOT to give up 5 minutes before the miracle.

My beginnings in AA were not pretty I was only willing to attend some meetings; I had NO intention of stopping drinking. It wasn't until I became willing to try something new that I began making any real progress.

This seems to remain true today with everything I do.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some new realizations of the connection between progression - obsessions - compulsion as those things relate to my alcoholism and alcoholic thinking and behavior

that my self will does not run quite so riot these days

that I usually try to take my fellows feelings into consideration

that Designer Girl is back from rehab - check out her blog It's a Girl Thing

for some real progress with the bathroom remodel -- the sheetrock is all up now

Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.
-Maimonides

Monday, September 17, 2007

Integrity ...




is the fifth principle behind the Twelve Steps of Alcohol Anonymous.

I am a nut about following the rules. This can be evidenced by the fact that I was a baseball umpire for a decade. I also officiated a number of other sports, but not as obsessively. I knew the rule book (which is quite complicated) forward and backward.

I try to take the concept of honesty seriously. I try to obey the rules and the law. When I screw up (I often do), I don't try to hide it (usually). There's still a lot of room for improvement here. But becuase I am sober, I am aware of this need to improve and am also able to make progress from time to time.

If you must judge me, please make that judgement by my actions rather than my words.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that Saturday was my friend Sonny's twenty-fifth sober anniversary -- Sonny runs Lambda Center as its only full-time employeee for the past 20? years

for a beautiful weather day on Sunday, although we stayed home and had a quiet day

for my relationship with my sponsor -- he DOES NOT try to run my life nor would I allow that. He knows my story and he knows me. I can talk to him without reservation about anything and I think he feels that he can confide in me too. He gives me suggestions and then lets me decide what to do. This is my idea of the proper AA sponsor-sponsee relationship.

that Hayden and I have recently spent a lot of quality time together

that I have now owned my home for 4 years -- I closed on it Sept 15, 2003 and moved in on Sept 20th -- just a few days after getting sober

In pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.
-R.H. Grenville

BY THE WAY - on Saturday, I received the much-and-always coveted
Inspirational Blogger Award from Pam



Sunday, September 16, 2007

Drug Problem

I don't know who wrote this or where I got it from. I've had it on file for some time and thought I'd publish it today. Enjoy.

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?''

I replied, "I had a drug problem when I was young.

I was drug to Church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and Cockleburs out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think.

They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place."

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Saturday

YOUR AGE

This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757... If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are ...
YOUR AGE !

Friday, September 14, 2007

Courage ...

is the principle behind the fourth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I wrote my 4th step initially, it took some soul-searching to look back over the years and remember a few situations and people whom I had conveniently forgotten.

As I trudge the road of happy destiny, Courage is often required. Learning to live sober requires me to do things I have never done. With a little bit of courage, I get to experience a new life as a sober man.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a newcomer to the 6:30am Eyes Wide Shut meeting yesterday

that I can make some painful admissions to my therapist; he gives me good advice but I often do not have the Courage to carry it out; actually, more often, I just forget LOL

to read Katia's new recovery blog, Seeking the Cranberry.
Drop by and pay her a visit when you have the opportunity.

that I have a personal trainer that keeps me on a workout program even when I am too tired, or don't have the intestinal fortitude to keep on goin'

that there's been a load of comprisin' on the road to my horizon

y'all have a great weekend, please

In pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.
-R.H. Grenville

Thursday, September 13, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy



A new commode will be installed here. Part of a complete remodel job in one of my bathrooms.

clicking HERE could be a Royal Flush


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that Tropical Storm Humberto passed just east of greater Houston last night and spared us some potential major flooding

that I got to hear (along with 30 others) part of an A.A. story yesterday that I really identified with

that I can still fulfill my living amends to my mother during her remaining days (maybe years)

that this emotional illness from which I suffer has its ups and downs and gives me plenty of fodder for my therapist each week

for the years I spent in West Africa, learning lessons that only a physical presence can teach

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out--it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
-Robert Service

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Hope ...


is the principle behind Step Three of Alcoholics Anonymous.

By the time I got to the rooms of AA, I had lost all hope that life would ever be anything other than dying drunk. I thought it was just meant to be. My fate. You guys told me differently.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we completed the fourth reading of the Big Book (of Alcoholics Anonymous) at yesterday's 6:30am meeting; we read a few pages each Tuesday and it takes about 14 or 15 months to get through the entire book

that I don't have to make any major decisions today -- it can all wait; this is the case just about every day of my life if I so choose

for the lunch bunch after each weekday noon meeting

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy - c'mon, get involved. I really enjoy the challenge of coming up with something new each week.

for fellowship with some guys yesterday as we went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science to see this

that the only clubs I go to these days are Lambda Center and Sam's Club

for some tangible progress on the bathroom remodel

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
-Dale Carnegie

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Faith ...

is the principle behind Step Two of Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I read Step 2 on the wall at the first AA meeting or maybe my second meeting, I was about ready to get up and walk out. I wanted nothing to do with a Higher Power. I had not been to church in 30 years and wasn't about to start now.

Three months and about 100 meetings later, I was finally able to muster the bravado to admit that you guys -- the people in the meetings - could be my Higher Power. I was having none of this God stuff!

I put my faith in you guys because you said I could. You said it would suffice. For now.

You were right.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am not going to write about 9/11 - I will leave that to others

that I much prefer to take action rather than think about it

for a wonderful meeting on Step 12 and input from many on numerous avenues of carrying the message

for the Twelve Steps of AA and an almost infinite number of recovery tools to help me get through the bad times ---
AND the good times too!

for the luxuries in my life, not highlighted by anger or resentment

for Johnny Depp

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers

Monday, September 10, 2007

Honesty ...

is the principle behind Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Some prefer to think of it as being "cash register" honest. I think this means that we don't out-and-out steal from others. But there are so many more levels of honesty - or dishonesty.

Am I honest with myself? Always? Or do I try to justify or rationalize situations so I don't have to look at me? Am I ignoring a person or event because it might be too uncomfortable to deal with? Do I tend to just sweep problems under the rug? Let somone else fix it.

I guess we could all write books on this subject.

It's worth giving thought to -- every day.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the good half of mood swings

for a productive Board meeting at Lambda yesterday


for a completed assignment from a sponsee -- regarding patience -- something I always need to know more about

for reminders of why I go to meetings

for the new topic on SOBRIETY SOCIETY - drop by and throw in your sense

for Dr Wayne Dyer on PBS

for quiet nights at home with my favorite person (other than myself)

for the video tributes I have seen the past few days for Luciano Pavorotti -- I am not an opera fan, but his talent seems to transcend that -- I can watch him for days hours minutes at a time

Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.
-Michael Iapoce


Sunday, September 09, 2007

Step 10

I'm having a hard time getting some of you to open up your Twelve X Twelve and read it. So here's a little taste...

There are cases where our ancient enemy, rationalization, has stepped in and has justified conduct which was really wrong. The temptation here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons when we really didn't.

We "constructively criticized" someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument. Or, the person concerned not being present, we thought we were helping others to understand him, when in actuality our true motive was to feel superior by pulling him down. We sometimes hurt those we love because they need to be "taught a lesson," when we really want to punish. We were depressed and complained we felt bad, when in fact we were mainly asking for sympathy and attention.

Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living. An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be the permanent assets we shall seek.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp 94, 95

Saturday, September 08, 2007

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

In recent weeks/months I seem to have reserved Saturday's and Sunday's (ocassionally) for jokes or humorous pieces. So, for today, I give you this ...

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun? What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

By the way, the date, time and a hotel room number I once had in Lagos, Nigeria are included in the title of this post.





Friday, September 07, 2007

FRIDAY




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good day yesterday

that my trainer has taken me to a higher level of working out -- this boy was doing some sweating yesterday

that the bathroom #1 remodel project got underway with the demolition of the walls, ceiling, cabinets and shower

that I have been writing this blog for 2 years and 9 months

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.
-Unknown

Thursday, September 06, 2007

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy


With the enactment of a new Houston city ordinance, Lambda Center is now a non-smoking facility.

Sure glad I stopped smoking when I did. It's just one less thing I have to deal with.

Visit a few other friends whose lives have gone up in smoke, some of whom are flamers...
CLICK HERE


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that, for me, reality comes with responsibility

that all problems have solutions

that many solutions don't happen the way I want or envision

for good ideas from my therapist

for Hayden's support at meetings

for all the comments left here yeterday by Pam, Mary Christine, Scott W, Shannon, las, peanut, lisa, drew's sis, anonymous, syd, johno, kathy lynne and tab

that I may get a break on my health/medical insurance policy now because of stopping smoking

for memories of watching The Flintstone's when I was about 6 years old (1960) and that Walt Disney brought programs to me in living color

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life.
-Baruch Spinoza


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Keepin' It Simple

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for all of you (you know who you are)

for all the things that come in sets of 12

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
-Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Time is a Gift, not a Threat



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnfkul

that 1,460 days ago, I had been to nearly 100 meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous over the previous 3+ months although my alcohol intake was as heavy as ever

that 1,460 days ago, I drank 4 beers during the course of the day and night (a miracle in itself because that is only a fraction of my usual daily requirement)

that 1,460 days ago, the last beer of the day was at 11:30pm and it was the last alcohol I drank

that today I have an opportunity to see the world through sober eyes and a (somewhat) clear head

that I heard some things I needed to hear (or be reminded of) at the 6:30am meeting yesterday regarding patience

that I acted on a whim last night (unusual for me) and went to a movie by myself -- "Death at a Funeral" -- I highly recommend this very funny movie

Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Monday, September 03, 2007

No Holiday for Gratitude


(click on the pic for a more detailed view)

EXPERIENCE

"That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach." -- Aldous Huxley

"Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience." -- Denis Waitley

"The good times we put in our pocket. The hard times we put into our heart." -- Les Brown

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I so totally identified with someone who shared this in an AA meeting ...
"I don't do moderation very well."

that I am OK and just keep trudging, albeit as lightly as possible

that I know how to keep-in-check the life-threatening disease that I have

that my desire to lead a drama-free life must be worth something!

that one more dishonest politician is out of power, although he will receive $130,000 retirement income + many other senatorial benefits for the rest of his miserable life

that Scott W is a basketball fan

that The Astros ridiculously poor season will be complete in a month

To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.
-Robert M. Pirsig

Sunday, September 02, 2007

The Not-So-Good Old Days

June 2004

When I was 9 months sober, I got to Step 9 with my sponsor.
Time to make some amends.

We had only identified 3 major amends that I needed to make with others. One of those was with Hayden, my partner (actually, ex-partner at the time). He was living back in Trinidad and we communicated very little. I had some very strong resentments toward him.

But, in good AA fashion with the help of my sponsor, I made those amends (via email). Also, true to form, I asked him what I could do to make right some or any of the wrongs I had done him during those drinking days. His response was simple. "Just don't treat me that way any more."

Great.

September 2006

Hayden is back in Houston visiting for the first time. We make the decision to rekindle our relationship. I've changed. I have changed a lot. I have not, however, been in any intimate relationships since sober. My character defects come leaping out of hibernation. At first, very slowly. But as the months have progressed, new character flaws have emerged that I have never been aware of previously.

September 2007

As I type this today, we are on the rebound (once again) and love each other more than ever. My craziness (insanity?) flourishes. My words and actions seem to bounce off him. He often points out to me that in spite of my behavior, he is still here and has no intention of leaving me.

My problem is this : I repeatedly break the amends I made to Hayden back in 2004. Those amends have become hollow words to me. For this, I am now beating myself up. It makes me wonder why I can't stay true to those amends. I know I'm not perfect; far from it. I know it's all about progress, not perfection. I also know I need to discuss this with my sponsor and most likely work some steps on this.

Comments? Suggestions?

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Beautiful people

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Walmart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think they look alike, dickhead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would f*ck you twice!"

Security system (video)