a few good pix

These are some of my favorite Halloween pictures. Please don't be offended. But if you are, that's too bad.







Picking the correct Halloween costume for the kid. CLICK HERE.

no longer a shivering denizen

Please don't be offended.

It's all in fun.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm no longer a shivering or shaking denizen

for laughter LOL

that I have been spared many of the hardships common to many alcoholics

for laughter hehehe

that I got my soul back after losing it; all I had to do was stop drinking

for laughter ho ho ho

for the opportunity to build my character without many of my instinctual defects

for laughter hahaha

that I went with friends to see "This Is It" last night. I was very impressed with the movie. It was put together from 100's of hours of rehearsal footage and documents the supreme work ethic of Michael Jackson. Whatever your feelings are of his personal life or his music, his work ethic was second to none. Very much the perfectionist.

for laughter bwaaaaaaaa!!

The human race has one effective weapon--and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

another day in paradise

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my busy days. Here was yesterday ...

... get up at 5am, meditate in jacuzzi, write & publish blog, eat small breakfast
... 6:30am AA meeting
... then to the gym
... home for a shower, check emails and read some blogs
... went to a guy's house @ 10am to look at an item for my car
... to Lowe's Home Improvement for some weed killer and light bulbs
... to Lambda at 11:30 for fellowship and the 12:15pm meeting
... to lunch with the guys after the meeting
... home for a short nap
... to Starbucks at 4pm
... pick up a friend @ 5:15pm to give a ride to a work function at 6pm
... had 1 hour to kill, so went to Academy to look around
... pick up friend and go to dinner at 8pm
... home at 9pm, check email blogs
... jacuzzi at 9:30pm
... 10pm to bed


Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese proverb

My, Me

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we read "Me an Alcoholic?" yesterday morning in our Big Book study. A few high points and realizations from that story ...

... I'm no longer a coin with two faces
... the insidiousness of alcoholism is an appalling thing
... as the author wrote about his last drinking binge, he said, "it is impossible to reproduce my despair."
... I knew from my general reading that alcoholism was irrevesible and fatal.

that I learned many years ago that when I teach something, I learn a lot more about it

for the crazy laughter I experience and observe in AA meetings

that I'm comfortable being home, by myself

We only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid. So stop. Try something you’ve never tried. Teach it. Do it. Risk it.
- Jon Blais

cleaning up my side

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the huge load that was removed from my shoulders when I completed my first 9th step

for the concept of living amends

that an amends is much more effective (for me) if I do it before I die

that when I'm pressed for blog-reading time in the morning, I always read my 3 girls first ... Mary Christine, Pam and Scott.

for the great rain we had all day yesterday


Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Goodness (is) Gracious!

How I spent my Sunday afternoon. A small get-together of Riviera owners. Mine is the red/black one.

On the top picture, from left to right, they are 1963, 64, 64, 65, 66 and 1982 Riviera's.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the Houston Roundup (AA convention) which happens over the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. Their largest fundraiser was Saturday night, a Drag Auction. The costumes are auctioned off after each performance. It was very entertaining and raised over $4000.

that I went to see my friend Rodney W in a stage play as he expands his acting career.

for fellowship before and after meetings; it's essential to my recovery and probably yours too

that I get to meet more people outside the program (normies) through my car obsession hobby

It is a funny thing about life: If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

10 Best Moments

Several of you have written about the 10 best moments of your life (so far).
Here's my list, in chronological order ...

Getting a letter jacket my senior year in high school.
I worked my butt off for this as a sprinter on the track team for 6 years (that includes Junior High School).

Finishing college. Just getting finished. After 4 1/2 years, I was ready to get on with life and away from school.

Having sex with my best friend after we'd known each other for about 10 years. It was better than I ever imagined. And we're still friends decades later.

Arriving in London for the first time in 1989. Within two or three hours, I knew that I was where I always should have been. I felt right at home.
I was then home-based from there for the next 5 years.

Meeting Liz in the UK. She became my best friend and was/is the best "ear" I've ever known.

When I moved to Amsterdam in 1993. I had quit my job so I could focus on sex, drugs and beer. At least I had my priorities.

The day I fell in love with Hayden (my partner-in-life). We had only known each other for a week, but I was hooked. And I knew it.

The spiritual awakening I had on September 4, 2003. The following day was my first day of sobriety, 2242 days ago.

October 5, 2003. I was sober for a whole month. Now, I knew I could do this thing.

August 15, 2008. After my Mother's Memorial Service. I had done everything to the very best of my ability with her 3+ year illness through her death.
I felt good about life.

The Wardrobe

If we are painstaking ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I know a new freedom and happiness
that I don't regret the past nor do I wish to shut the door on it
that I certainly comprehend the word serenity and I know peace
that I see how my experiences can benefit others
that feelings of uselessness and self-pity (sometimes) disappear
that I occasionally lose interest in selfish things a (lotsa work to do here) and usually have interest in my fellows
that self-seeking may one day slip away (hmmmmmmmmmm)
that my whole attitude and outlook upon life has changed
that my fear of people and of economic insecurity has lessened
that sometimes I intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me
that a few times I've realized that my HP is doing for me what I cannot do for myself

If you fail to prepare, you're prepared to fail.
- Mark Spitz

rainy day in houston

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that Jeanne shared her mysterious story with us yesterday

for reminder after reminder about how deadly this alcoholism thing is

for more peaceful and serene days -- how many can there be?

that I don't often end sentences in a preposition; but I do usually end sentences with a period.

that we're getting more much needed rain today

that I keep my political leanings away from this blog (usually)


If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure.
- Robert Hillyer

Sure glad I'm not getting any older

Eddie
The Beaver
Wally

If I need to tell who they are, you don't really need to know.






todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm happy and even proud to be alive

that I overslept yesterday, but Hayden called from London (just to say howdy) in time for me to get up, get dressed and get to my 6:30am meeting. I didn't get to take my morning jacuzzi/meditation, but I shall live through this ordeal.

that I got a lot of errands done yesterday; I felt very productive

that my HP is so forgiving (that's why I'm still here)

that I'll post my 10 Best Moments sometime this weekend


The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.
- Benjamin Disraeli

another step forward

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for busy days; it seems as though I rarely have time to do nothing. When I was drinking, I rarely had time to do anything.

for a day trip to Navasota, Texas to visit with my sister and see her new home under construction.

to help support a couple of friends-in-recovery in their Improv stage debut; then fellowship afterwards which of course included Swirll!


The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.
- James Oppenheim

for your eyes (only)

Twitter is lighting up at the moment with the uncovering of this video of the Heene family boys, better known to the world as the "balloon family", in which they rap about the "pussification" of American men and boast "I hate gay faggots, I (kill? hit?) 'em with a bat." Or something like that. You judge at the 2:40 mark. Immediately following, the kid unmistakably speaks about throwing a rock at a "faggot" in a tree. These children definitely need to be removed from the custody of their parents.

borrowed from the blog of Joe.My.God.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that I am my own person, no matter what you think

for self-commitments

for a weekend of perfect weather

that I had the courage to walk through a small fear -- I attended and entered my Riviera in a car show. I went by myself and was there for about 5 hours. There were 253 other entries, so I was kinda lost in the crowd (a good thing). I had a number of compliments on my car, but I also know that it's nowhere near "car show quality". All in all though, I'm glad I did it. And I got really sunburned.


Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

English 201 (continued from yesterday ...)

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP ,you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP ....

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so........it is time to shut UP !

English 101

You think English is easy??? Read to the end ..... a new twist

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't finger, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

red-blooded

Red Blood Cells under an electron microscope

They look like little cinnamon candies here, but they're actually the most common type of blood cell in the human body - red blood cells (RBCs). These biconcave-shaped cells have the tall task of carrying oxygen to our entire body; in women there are about 4 to 5 million RBCs per micro liter (cubic millimeter) of blood and about 5 to 6 million in men. People who live at higher altitudes have even more RBCs because of the low oxygen levels in their environment.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I began my very own outline for a design for living when I first worked the steps with my sponsor; since that time, it has evolved and been modified as necessary

for productive meetings yesterday with sponsees - they keep me honest and growing

that I learn so much just by watching and listening

for some lovely and comfortable cooler weather that arrived overnight

Money is a very excellent servant, but a terrible master.
- P.T. Barnum

just a hair

Split End of Human Hair under an electron microscope

Regular trimmings to your hair and good conditioner should help to prevent this unsightly picture of a split end of a human hair.






todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for choices and freedom -- in sobriety, they're progressive

that I got to hear Joe Mc's story again yesterday -- he is a master at describing the feelings involved with his behavior

that being honest may cost me more money at times, but it's a always going to be a small price to pay for my serenity

that I decided to share some personal family stuff in an Al-Anon meeting last night -- it had not even occurred to me to share it before. It concerned my 30 year-old nephew and his drug use, manipulation of people and his current medical problems.


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

2231 days after stopping drinking alcohol ...

Tooth Plaque under an electron microscope

Brush your teeth often because this is what the surface of a tooth with a form of plaque looks like.






todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for another day to practice the principles -- I like doing that.

that I don't have to be anybody but me

that doubting God's existence was not a barrier to a spiritual experience
see Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 374

that my sponsor knows me so well (that didn't happen accidentally)

that I was able to get my new (used) Caddy inspected, titled and registered easily

Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Lawrence J. Peter

taking a closer look

Human Embryo and Sperm under an electron microscope

It looks like the world at war, but it is actually five days after the fertilisation of an egg, with some remaining sperm cells still sticking around. This fluorescent image was captured using a confocal microscope. The embryo and sperm cell nuclei are stained purple while sperm tails are green. The blue areas are gap junctions, which form connections between the cells.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I knew what to do when drinking finally quit working

for my favorite definition of humility -- "A clear recognition of what and who we really are followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 58

that I use the above statement as a guideline to each day. In order to do so, I have to pray outloud about it or else I'll forget.


The more you have, the more you're occupied; the less you have, the more free you are.
- Mother Teresa

microscope week @ higher powered

This week I will post some amazing pictures taken with an electron microscope.

These were sent to me from my friend Jessie Young.


Colored Image of a 6 day old Human Embryo implanting itself onto the wall of the womb.




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I've done so much since my last gratitude list last Thursday ...

... flew one-way to Denver

... got to visit with Mary Christine (Being Sober) and her daughter

... got to see snow (that's a big deal for us Gulf Coast Texans)

... picked up a newly purchased classic '84 Cadillac

... drove 18 hours back to Houston across Colorado, Kansas, down through Oklahoma and then all the way through Texas

... got to see the plains of Kansas (never been there before)

that I'm able to do these things because I'm sober. If I were still drinking, well, ...
never mind.


Forgiveness is having the courage to take down the walls that we think are there to protect us.
- Suztes

Why?

Why, Why, Why,

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there
is not enough money?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does someone Believe you when you say there are four billion stars;
but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
(they're not bugs..... it's light bulb poop!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't
we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I am a non-smoker

3 years ago I stopped smoking.

I had smoked up to 3 packs/day for 36 years from age 16 until I was 52.

Today, I'm free from nicotine and the nasty habit that goes with its ingestion. I didn't know how much I was a slave to smoking until I stopped.

I'm free to smell better.

I'm free to sit in a restaurant after a meal without having to excuse myself to go outside for 5 minutes.

I'm free to do so many other of the little things in life without the need to smoke.

Today, I'm just free. And much healthier.

Promises

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the Promises as laid out on pages 83 and 84 of Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book)

that I'm flying to Denver this morning to pick up my newly-purchased Caddy. I will meet up with Mary Christine and we'll go to one of her favorite AA meetings before I leave for home.

that going to an AA meeting was a no-brainer for me when I planned this short trip (I could have had the car shipped to Houston but I wanted to visit Mary's home.)

that the neighborhood in which I live, MONTROSE, in Houston, was named one of the top ten great neighborhoods in the USA. But I already figured that.

that I joined Classic Chassis Car Club - primarily for gay and lesbian car lovers and collectors in the Houston area

I may not post tomorrow morning. But I have pre-posted and pre-dated a post for Saturday because the date is special to me and I wanted to share it with you.


A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't.
- Jack Dempsey

Literature

(this video has nothing to do with literature, but I think it's kind of funny)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the meetings I attend DO NOT allow excessive talk of Jesus or any particular religion; if they had, I would have run out of those rooms as fast as possible

that we read TIGHTROPE yesterday in the Big Book meeting. It's a story in the 4th edition, page 359. Here's a few excerpts that I really identify with ...

... Alcohol helped me to hide my fears; the ability to converse was an almost miraculous gift to a shy and lonely individual.
... My sponsor was gentle with me. He did not push his opinions on me. He had the sense to see that I was so afraid and so used to being alone that I could not face a "hard sell" approach.
... But once a conversation starts, communication frequently continues.

that I bought a classic Caddy yesterday (on eBay) and will pick it up in a couple of days. Some details on that soon.

Know that you are your greatest enemy, but also your greatest friend.
- Jeremy Taylor

Drunks just wanna have fun ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that for today, I can be the best me that I can be

to be slowly (very slowly) learning how to live as a sober man

that my addictions and obsessions today are much less life-threatening than my drinking was


I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on the way.
- Carl Sandburg

another day

It's all about balance.





todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the way that things work out just the way they really should, even though it may not always seem best at the time

that even in this city of more than 3 million human units, I run into AA friends and Friends of Bill (those whom I've yet to meet) in the oddest places - and frequently!

for retail therapy

that this isn't me

that I get to help a friend at 5:15am today; a ride to the hospital for scheduled surgery

It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us...Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
- Mother Teresa

The Diamonds - then and now

Fun! That was the way one fan described the Diamonds. And who could argue? After listening to "Little Darlin'" for the first time, it was a foregone conclusion. It was only a little over two minutes long, but it was fun. Songs such as "Little Darlin", "The Stroll", and "Why Do Fools Fall In Love" were only three of the Diamonds' 16 hits that made it on the Billboard Charts. They had 21 appearances on America Bandstand and countless TV shows and concerts. They guest stared in a movie and sang the theme song for two others. All of this insured their place in the history of early rock & roll, and endeared themselves to the hearts of their fans. It also got them in several music Halls of Fame.

LOL @ Stanley and Gabriel

music, smiles, traditions

I am a fan of calypso music, made famous in the USA by Harry Belafonte (click here). If you have time, watch some of his other performances highlighted on the right column of YouTube.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get 3 doses of AA today; it's something I choose to do

that it's rarely painful to walk with a smile on my face

that the only requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is a desire to stop drinking (fortunately, it doesn't say for how long)

for the early experiences of sober members of AA and that they didn't give up

for a little better understanding that my episodes of intolerance are because of a fear I am experiencing

for the cool temperature brought to us this morning with a powerful weather front


Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
- Kahlil Gibran

Oktober onced

Do I look like an idiot?




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a new month -- I've never experienced October this year

that I've never really been one to set goals -- I've always just gone with the flow

that I have a goal today - to be the best person I can be; to be patient, loving, kind and tolerant to myself and others

for a most lovely weather day in Houston yesterday - I was able to do some yard work without getting all hot and sweaty

for funny stories like THIS


Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.
- Golda Meir

today is lovely

my friend Boston celebrated 4 years without any mind-altering drugs





todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it might have been worse**

that I no longer have to make excuses for trips in order to drink without restraint

that I no longer have to plan my drinks or what time I will start drinking

that I remember what I did last night -- and every night for the last 2217 nights

that I no longer resent people for interfering with my drinking

that I went to Boston's 4th sobriety celebration last night


Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
- Vesta M. Kelly

** Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 348

they get younger every year

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the more often I practice these principles in all my affairs, the easier my life seems to flow

OK, now for yesterday -- 12:15pm AA meeting which is normally a step-oriented meeting. We were goin g to discuss Step 6. The chairperson had begun when in walked about 20 teenagers. They were from a local treatment/rehab center. He welcomed them as they took seats and we discovered that only 1 had never attended an AA meeting. From that point, the topic was centered around the first step - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." For the last 20-ish minutes of the meeting, the chairperson asked for sharing from the teens. Some of the stories they shared brought yours truly to tears.

When I left that meeting, I felt so grateful to be a sober and recovering member of society, not having to worry about jail or death, not having to deal with parents who are abusive or violent addicts, not having to deal with peer pressure from so-called friends or gang members, etc...

Today, I shall be the best human I can be, having learned from my own experiences and those of others.

Living well and beautifully and justly are all one thing.
- Socrates

thanks for dropping by

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I seem to have simplified Step 3 into one word -- whatever

that I can usually keep my mouth shut when someone shares in a meeting about what we need to do or what I should not do or how I feel or act instead of keeping it just about themself

for a wonderful sobriety birthday celebration at Lambda this past Saturday -- we celebrate a month's worth of birthdays in one night -- this month there were 32 people with a total of 314 sober years

for fellowship with others who think (almost) like me

Don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
- General George S. Patton

The Periodic

A "periodic" is an alcoholic who is able to put together some dry time -- sometimes for considerable periods -- in between bouts of uncontrolled drinking.
The challenge for a periodic alcoholic is that these "dry times" (understandably) confuse the issue as to whether or not they are powerless over alcohol.
I once heard someone at a meeting sum up his process in sorting this out this way:
"I didn't think I had a problem drinking -- until I finally realized that virtually every time I drank I had a problem."

As I'm fond of observing, Alcoholics Anonymous is not selling anything. As a whole we have no investment in convincing someone that they are alcoholic. Each person must make this diagnosis on their own -- if they don't there is actually very little -- nothing, really -- that the AA program can do to help them.
Thus, in the case of a periodic drinker, while individual AA members may offer their own experience (direct or observational) on the matter, if a person eventually decides that their extended dry periods prove that they are not, in fact, powerless over alcohol ... well then, "our hats are off to them."
That is one of AA's great strengths; its welcoming spirit coupled with a policy of attraction rather than promotion.
And if they're wrong, and they are in fact an alcoholic, well then, I guess if they survive their next drinking episode (and I mean that literally), they'll know where to come for help.

reprinted from a file on my computer (this means I don't know where it came from, but I like it)

a poem about judging others

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
was rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

"And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He, "they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you."

Judge NOT.

having enough

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

I woke up early this morning after about 4 hours sleep and could not get back to sleep. So I read blogs, facebook and browsed eBay. At 5am, I'll go to the gym and do 45 minutes of cardio, then go to my 6:30am AA meeting. I have AA meetings at 10am and 12:15pm as well. Then lunch with the guys and then will pick up my Buick which has been in the shop getting some interior restoration work done. By late afternoon, I think I will have had -- enough.

I didn't write this, but I sure agree with it ...

The only difference between needing more and having enough is your attitude. At any time, in any circumstance, you always have the option of deciding that you are enough, and that you already have enough for the moment you're in.
Always longing for more will eventually wear you down into a painful, frustrating and overwhelming sense of disillusionment. Having enough, on the other hand, puts you into a peaceful, positive and productive state of mind.
Just imagine how completely satisfying it would be to suddenly have everything you need. You can know that satisfaction right now, in this very moment, just by allowing yourself to have enough.

It costs you nothing to decide that you have enough. For having enough does not preclude you from creating more abundance in your life.
In fact, having enough sets your creativity free and allows your effectiveness to soar to new heights. When you get away from the stifling mindset of lack and limitation, truly magnificent things will happen.
By having enough, your struggles disappear and are replaced with countless opportunities for real joy. See right now that you have enough, and delight in the warm and genuine richness it brings.
~Ralph Marston


Don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
- General George S. Patton

as my brain bounces around ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my perceptions seem a tad better than they were a year or two ago, but I'm still way off the mark sometimes

that I shared in the Al-Anon Double-Winner meeting last night

that someone spoke last night in that meeting (see above) that to be a Double-Winner, one must first be a Double-Loser. LOL

that I'm not a false echo on someone's radar

that we're only 8 inches short of our averge rainfall total after this weeks' rainfall

Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz

fear vs courage

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that fear is only paper thin

that many of my fears are only in my head and turn out to be little or nothing at all

that my biggest fear today is that I will stop wanting this good life and allow my thinking to revert to the old days. Because of this, I must constantly stay on top of this thing.

that courage is no longer in a bottle, can or joint


It takes courage to show your dreams to someone else.
- Erma Bombeck

my part

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the spiritual life is not a theory

that I was asked at the last moment to chair yesterday's 12:15pm AA meeting. It's a step -oriented meeting and we focused on Step 4.

that in practicing Step 4 often and many times without my conscious participation, I have learned to let go of most resentments becuase I now recognize the part I play in my life

that it's the 1st day of Autumn

for a note from our blogging friend, Trudge (Outright Mental Defective) ... "Dave can you tell everyone that I am sorry but I cannot access my blogger or my gmail accounts. Hope to be back with you all soon."

that our President is a black man and freely admits to being one for many years


You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be.
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

back to the (coffee) grind

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the freedom I have to be me

for another little aha! moment during a meeting on Saturday morning. It's too involved to get into here, but I will say that a great many of my aha! moments come to me during AA meetings.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that's worth thinking about.

that Morgan M. finally got to qualify her AA experience and she did it with much humility

that my nephew (injured in a motorcycle accident) is now out of a coma and is no longer listed as critical. He's been in ICU for almost 5 weeks now.

that although I've been doing some retail therapy the past few days, I have found some great clothing sales. Now, I need to gather some older shirts and take them to the Salvation Army.


You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be.
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

it's been a weird week

I heard that Kanye West interrupted the Swayze funeral benediction to remind the congregation that Michael Jackson had the greatest funeral of all time.
When that happened, Rep. Joe Wilson immediately stood up and screamed "You lie!"and then Serena Williams promptly cursed them both out.



have a nice day

underwear cops

verification

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the writing is on the wall (in many AA rooms)

that Step 2 as it is written contains no mention of God

that I get up on the right side correct side of the bed every day

that it's true; yes, I am gay and proud of it


To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
- Unknown

Mary Travers died this week at the age of 72. I loved the music of Peter Paul and Mary.

What an order!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm still doing the best I can every day

to remember to practice the Tenth Step throughout my day (every day)

for those times when all I can do is act as if

that I'm still trying to figure out Al-Anon


If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird

overheard in a meeting ...

The more I miss meetings, the more I miss drinking.








todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for laughter in AA meetings

that I have never texted during an AA meeting

that my (projected) schedule can be flexible without me going nuts when there's unexpected changes

that I got this new deodorant and the instructions said….remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk but when I fart it smells amazing.

Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.
- Basil King

don't do drunk

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I don't do drunk anymore

that I use the concepts and principle (faith) behind Step 3 throughout the day, every day ...
"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

when I practice Step 3 as I should, my life is easier and more serene

that I not only enjoy participating in service to others but I also understand its significance to my recovery

that I had the opportunity to know Patrick Swayze before he was famous. We went to high school together (he was a year ahead of me, of course)

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

back to ...

one of the great drunk pranks




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to hear Jason W. speak Saturday night @ Lambda -- he is a very inspirational speaker to me

that I got to meet Lou (aka Subdural Flow) and her mother

for my friend Scott W. (aka Attitude of Gratitude)

for my friend Pam (aka Sobriety is Exhausting)

for more life lessons as I remain sober and aware


You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out he hates all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

renewing a passport

This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough)..
You definitely feel the guy's pain!


Dear sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? You have my birth date on my Social Security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs Declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address.
What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know,the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed
- An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang........However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !

　

dancin' birdie

rock and roll is for the birds

nine eleven

I love this song when it's performed this way. I've never really cared to hear it sung/performed with artistic impression. But that's just me. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.




todAAyi AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have visited Ground Zero in Manhattan and could feel its significance

that Al-Queda terrorists have laregely been thwarted in this country for the past 9 years.

that most meetings where the first step is discussed, more is revealed to me

for THIS wonderful story of freedom from louisey over at Letting It Go

for the process of discussion versus argument

that I'm going to another Astros game tonight with a friend in recovery


Enthusiasm is a volcano on whose top never grows the grass of hesitation.
- Kahlil Gibran

here and beyond

Have you been watching the new series called "Planet Earth" (click here) on the Discovery Channel?

It is some of the most awesome photography and storytelling I've seen.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm a little less judgemental and a little more compassionate these days

for some really good points made in the Double Winner (Al-Anon) meeting last night

for the people who show up consistently in my environment

that we are finally getting some much needed rain here in the Housotn area -- we are drastically behind the normal average rainfall

for the incredible photographs taken by the improved Hubble telescope

Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we are going to show.
- Mignon McLaughlin

090909

AFV - Cats Gone Wild! @ Yahoo! Video


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I further my recovery every time I go to an AA meeting

for a first-time newcomer that graced the meeting room yesterday

for the many varied experiences I've been so fortunate to have during my 55 years, including
... 6 years running track
... 4 years of university and earning a degree in education
... 10 years as a baseball umpire
... 1 year teaching public school and coaching football & track
... 1 year as a retail store manager
... 2 years as an office manager in the trucking industry
... 19 years in the offshore oil exploration industry
... living and working in 25 countries
... visiting an additional 7 countries
... 33 years as a practicing alcoholic
... 6 years as a recovering alcoholic
... waking up sober this morning
... today, with all its opportunities

Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.
- Soren Kierkegaard

In less than 12 months ...

I am curious who is going to attend the Alcoholics Anonymous 2010 International Convention next July in San Antonio. If you need to register, I have a link on my sidebar under the blogroll. It will stay there until next summer.

I'm going to keep a running list somewhere on this blog's sidebar. Let me know if you're going to attend for certain. We'll probably set aside a day and time to all meet each other.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm not running from anything today; I believe I'm able to face everything that confronts me (so far)

that I still have my senses -- to see, hear, taste, smell and feel

that I'm Honest (I think), Open-Minded (seemingly) and Willing (almost always)

that the psychic change I had 6 years ago removed the insane obsession to get drunk


Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale

just sit back and enjoy it

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my seventh year of recovery has been a breeze (so far) and there's no reason for that to change

that I got to hear Keith F's story Saturday night; he is as sick as I am and somehow, that's comforting LOL

that our friend TRUDGING aka Outright Mental Defective has returned to the blogworld after a lengthy hiatus

for another sober blogger I just became aware of -- SOBER -- drop by and say howdy

that I went to an Astros game by myself and ran into 2 sober friends who were working at the game in different capacities -- we're everywhere!!


"Why is it called "common sense" when so few people seem to have it?"
~~ me

Do you identify with any of these? part 2

Bad decisions make good stories

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner.