Sunday, March 21, 2010

This is THE test

I aam sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South.
I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by
the University of Arkansas Engineering Department:

1.Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10-pound possum.

2.Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in
your front yard? A ‘65 Ford Fairlane, a ‘69 Chevrolet Chevelle or a ‘64
Pontiac GTO

3.If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons
of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense
the product?

4.A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of
the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3
acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers
will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5.If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6.A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field
rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet.The
porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many
hound dogs will be killed?

7.A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average
slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children
place a mobile home on the man’s land and still have enough property for their
electric appliances to sit out front?

8.A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope
on a secondary road at 45 MPH.The brakes fail.Given average traffic
conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a
vehicle with a muffler?

9.A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area.The mine
employs 120 miners per shift. An explosive gas warning is issued at the
beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be
smoked during the shift?

10.At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?


Syd said...

I laughed ou loud at this. It is priceless. The hound dog one was especialy good.

Kim A. said...

I actually tried to figure a few out. ::que Duelling Banjos::


Mary Christine said...

I aint smart enough to figger any of these out.

Carol said...

Your point well taken!

Ed G. said...

As one with kin claiming both Texas and Alabama roots, we will take this on as a family project. Thanx - you've given us new purpose!

Blessings and aloha...

Julianne said...

Giggles galore with this one! Thank you for putting a smile on my face this afternoon!

Zanejabbers said...

#10. 2.1 millineums.