OK. Hear me out.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to get out of my little comfort zone yesterday and attend a meeting that I've never been to before.  I went specifically to hear a sponsee tell his story of recovery. 

One more notch on my recovery belt.

that I'm a fan of the Traditions of A.A. and attend a meeting that discusses them.  I also attended an excellent workshop this past weekend where small breakout groups of 2 or 3 went through each tradition thoroughly.  It was sponsored by our local District 20.  It saddens me to witness so many people (especially on Facebook) routinely violate the very traditions that have saved our lives.  Some of these people seem to think that "they know better" and have actually cursed (as recently as last night) at me for trying to uphold different traditions.  That does not stop me from being true to A.A. and myself, however.

Rant complete.

that I don't have to use 2 hands to hold a cup of coffee anymore (during my last years of drinking, that was common)

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.- Anonymous

Aha!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have to live by the basic teachings from my first months in sobriety

for another one of those AHA! moments that came to me during an AA meeting this weekend.
I know now that when I was hitting my alcoholic bottom 8 years ago, there was actually nothing wrong.  I thought my world was falling apart, yet now I know that nothing was really wrong.  I thought the whole world hated me and despised me, yet now I know that nothing was really wrong.  I thought I was having a mental breakdown and told people that, yet now I know that nothing was really wrong.
All I had to do was stop drinking.  I did.  And then, nothing was wrong.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It DOES work.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the basics ...

go to meetings (on a regular basis)

get a sponsor (who has a sponsor)

read the literature

find a Higher Power and let that relationship evolve

don't drink between meetings

I have done and I do all these things.  It works.

Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.
-Michael Iapoce

An experience I am not missing

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today is the only day I can live today

that I got to catch up and eat dinner with one of my first recovery buddies last night; we don't see each other very often any more

that I get to chair an A.A. meeting this morning; it's always a good experience

that I am going to enjoy the fellowship of many alcoholics today, many of whom are just like me

that I'll laugh more times today than I did during my last month of drinking



Expressing gratitude seems like a cosmic invitation
for all kinds of thankfulness and appreciation to pour in.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Back to work

todAAy i Am grAAteful & thAAnkful

to have played a small part in a wildly successful and entertaining fundraiser for our Houston Roundup (AA convention)

for the following excerpt from Alcoholics Anonymous (the book) ...
"Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate."

I have attended four meetings in the past week where this paragraph was introduced as a topic of discussion. Coincidence? I think not.

I had better stay on top of my game and really, really work on Step 10.

that my days as a manipulator are fewer and farther between than they used to be



Do what you feel in your heart to be right -
for you'll be criticized anyway.
You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Laugh!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the visitors from California we had at Lambda yesterday; 3 people are here independently from each other, all from the LA area. Kinda strange coincidence.

that I keep hearing that there are no coincidences

for the humor in AA meetings. I have heard there are places where laughing is looked down on in AA meetings. Those people are missing out on some significant recovery (in my humble opinion).

for a fundraiser we're having tomorrow night -- DRAG WARS -- Kings vs Queens (men against the women).
This oughta be good!


We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

something new

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I made my first-ever attempt at Yoga last night. We have a combination yoga/A.A. meeting at my recovery center. One hour of simple yoga stretching and then 1/2 hour of an A.A. meeting. The facilitator had us go round the circle and pick a letter of the alphabet and come up with a word beginning with that letter and then talk for a minute or two about that word and its relation to recovery. Comprehend? Very interesting.

that I'm changing as a person; not sure how or where it will take me, but I know I'm changing. For the better, I hope.


Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese

no title today

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my experience tells me that I can stay sober through anything, so far

for AA meetings when we talk about the first 3 steps, fear, and gratitude

to recognize that I'm going into another phase of my sober development; I don't know where it will take me, but I'm ready to go

that my friend, Scott W., had a successful gallery opening on Saturday; he says there were over 700 attendees viewing his wonderful art. Many of you know Scott through his former blog, Attitude of Gratitude.


Gratitude is an attitude that hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are, the closer you become to your maker, to the architect of the universe, to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor

Thanks for dropping in ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a first-time newcomer to the noon AA meeting yesterday. I was proud and inspired to hear the shares by my fellow alkies.

for those who need help and aren't afraid to seek it

that my own little world of martyrdom has diminished more and more over the last few years

that Houston has been spared the violent weather that has hit so many areas of the country; instead, we're in the 4th month of a severe drought


If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden

Today's words are very filtered.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to remember how life once was and know that I never have to go there again!

that I had enough conviction to NOT be a doormat; it wasn't pretty, but I got my point across (but damn, I hate confrontations)

that I got to chair some noon AA meetings in May and I really enjoyed the responses during the discussions we had

that I have respect for most people, until they show me I shouldn't



Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Laying it out in front of me

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it only took about 3 months (50 AA meetings?) to realize that alcohol just might be part of the reason for the mental breakdown I was experiencing in the summer of 2003; I thought that my drinking to oblivion every night was the only thing getting me through my problems

for some new ways to respond to old triggers

that I know the best and most efficient ways to do just about everything, but I no longer have to claim it outloud (just pretend you didn't read this)

for the radio announcers who taught me the game of baseball every night when I was a kid. I didn't play on a team; instead I learned the game by watching and listening. Those guys (Gene Elston and Loel Passe) were the best I've ever heard at describing the action and explaining why a particular player did a certain thing.


May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours.
- Irish Blessing

Consistency

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am able to be consistent with the recovery meetings I attend

for the wisdom and experience of the people with whom I choose to surround myself

that I can give back to others so easily, but I have to show up in order to do that

that I am able to be consistent with this blog



If we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

doin' the deal

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for humor in recovery. I got to hear one of my favorite speakers yesterday at a speaker meeting. He is entertaining and informative. His story is not much different than mine or yours but he tells it in a way that makes me want to hear more.

that since my mother died in 2008, my partner is the only person who knows where my buttons are. And he pushes them often.

that this blog is my first attempt at service work on most days

for all of you who continue to do whatever it takes

You're standing on the threshold of success. Don't look down, it'll make you dizzy.
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the Walt Disney movie Dumbo

Solutions and stuff

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for solutions to all my problems

that I don't share in AA meetings about the reason my problems are so bad; I try to share about the solutions I have found

that before I could stop drinking, I had to realize and admit that many of my problems were because of my drinking

** and here's another phrase I really identify with -- Try praying. Nothing pleases God more than to hear a strange voice.


If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labor. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will think of past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be the master of my emotions. - Og Mandino

Does it need to be said?

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I was on hand to hear Scott D. tell his AA story Saturday night. He's one of my favorite people and someone to whom I really look up to.

that I'm back just enjoying every minute of my life. I love it when this happens. Nothing seems to bother me. Even things that ordinarily bother just seem to slip away almost un-noticed.

for the great lines and mantras I've heard and learned in recovery. I'm going to share a few of them this week. One of my favorites is ...

Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me?

This has kept me out of arguments and helped prevent having to make future amends. Many times. Sometimes numerous times in a day. Try it. You'll like it.

Whoever is happy will make others happy too.

- Anne Frank

Taking action

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to learn more about a really cool young woman yesterday when she shared her alcoholic story with us. She is a frequent visitor from a European country but an alkie is an alkie.

to know that I know so little

for this little gem heard in a meeting ........
"My attitude is like a flat tire. If I don't change it, I won't get anywhere."

that I feel comfortable getting outside my comfort zone (sometimes) -- action outside the box!


Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow.”
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Back to the present .........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for awareness of my own self-will when it runs riot (yes, Ethel, that still happens)

for the speakers I was able to host during this month of chairing a Saturday night AA speaker meetings; this coming Saturday is our birthday night at Lambda Center when we celebrate many sobriety anniversaries

that I will not try to make any money or receive any other type of financial compensation from this blog, or from my recovery

for the fellowship that I am part of; it's so much richer than the bar "friends" I had

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

the way it is .......

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful experience this weekend. We had a fundraiser at Lambda Center and my homegroup (6:30am AA meeting Eyes Wide Shut) participated with an entry. Each entry (team) had to build a small Mardi Gras-type float using a grocery store shopping cart as the chassis. We spent about a month planning and buying materials and costumes and putting it all together. Our entry won the competition by raising the most money (from the crowd).
Winning is nice, but the fellowship and teamwork we had was incredible. I can't include pictures because of anonymity issues, but trust me, the float and the costumes were out of this world!!

that Step 3 has really been in my face lately (that's a good thing, a real good thing)

for the awareness that most of my troubles are of my own making (damnit!)

that even though I'm staying very occupied, I am still fighting the tempatation to isolate. Not sure why.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

back to gratitude ........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I remember to go to my regular AA meetings so I won't forget what it was like before I went to my regular AA meetings

for moments of peace and serenity and the awareness that comes from those moments

that the early guys and gals in AA recognized the necessity of principles before personalities

that although I'm almost 57 years old, I still love to be silly


A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

More is being revealed

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I completed my month of commitment of chairing the 12:15 Speaker meetings

for a small AHA! moment regarding some childhood thinking. It's so true what they say -- More Shall Be Revealed.

that I no longer sit on a barstool, fantasizing and wishing

I'm not so great at math. One of you tell me WHY this works.
Take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and it will equal 111.

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde