I'm learning more about me

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good Al Anon meeting concerning the topic of asking for help.
I was raised in a family where I was allowed to be very independent. As a person with "ism" which later became alcoholism, I used that independence to my advantage (or so I thought). The end result is that I have always had difficulty asking for help. Meetings like last night help me to become more aware of my shortcomings and thus I can do something about it.

that some people actually ask me to help them. I try to just offer my experience. Anything else is usually my ego talking.

for the people I meet along the way; they provide my environment. I can choose to learn and live or I can ignore them/it and remain stagnant.


You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

striking out

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am I'm almost always willing to be an ear for those who need to talk. This is NOT the dAAve of old.

that I no longer give out I'm a little better about not giving out unsolicited advice

that I rarely never drink alcohol any more

that I went to my Al Anon meeting last night for the first time this month in weeks

for Abraham Lincoln. He was has been my hero during my growing up period, which happens to be continuing.



To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

just pluggin' along ...

this is NOT Houston



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that things happen in life when they are supposed to happen

for a design for living that grows daily, as long as I don't return to my drunken instincts

that I got to lead another Al Anon meeting last night; we discussed boundaries and limits

for the good times

and the bad times


Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby

out and about

(left) the coast of Morocco

(right) in Dakar, Senegal with 2 friends



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to lead my first Al Anon meeting last night; I brought up the topic of Attitudes. I shared honestly about my domestic problems and others shared too. I thought it went pretty well.

that my friend, Scott W. (Attitude of Gratitude) celebrates 7 years of sobriety today. Drop by and give him a kiss.

for the decade of foreign travel and living that was bestowed upon me. I got to spend 4+ months in over 20 countries and had the opportunity of becoming part of the culture of many African nations along with European and South American places.
These experiences have undoubtedly shaped my thinking forever.

that I live in Houston, Texas and have no desire to live anywhere else.


Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain

change & awareness

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it's OK to be angry and that I know a method to prevent that anger from becoming a major resentment

for Step 4 and the freedom it gives me -- awareness

that I finally learned last night in my Al Anon meeting that I don't need to keep protecting my partner from his own behavior. I allow him to make his mistakes and live his life, but I have always tried to keep those things a secret and I am the one who suffers when I do that.
Hopefully, I can remember to stop protecting him. (this is HUGE for me)

that I'm so blessed and fortunate -- I must always remember to pay it forward.


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard

Going Slowly ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we got to hear a fantastic speaker yesterday at our mid-week noon meeting. He really hit the nail on the head.

that I don't always have to be up front and in charge -- it's great to let others do that

for consistency. I've said it before, but need to remind myself.

for a return to Al Anon after a 3-week absence. I needed it last night and heard some things I needed to hear. My home life is going through one of its most difficult times and I'm kinda tired of trying to figure things out. Right now, I'm taking no action other than just talking. And then, I have the Confucius quote below. LOL


Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

still workin' it

I like this joke ................

A dog lover, whose dog was a bitch and 'in heat', agreed to look after and house her neighbors' male dog while they were away on vacation. She had a large house however and believed that she could keep them apart but as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage as so frequently happens when they mate.

Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Having explained the problem to him, the vet said."hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw".

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"It just worked for me" he replied.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my sobriety is between my HP and myself - but I need the rest of y'all for my recovery

that learning is automatic but being teachable takes effort

for the Al Anon meetings that I attend

that I could tell when something truly serendipitous happened yesterday - no need for details right now though


He who angers you conquers you.
- Elizabeth Kenny

good thangs come-a-knockin'

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I didn't really have a nervous breakdown 7 years ago; I was just on my way to my alcoholic bottom

for the many things I have accomplished during my 56 years on this little planet; it's a very long list when I really think about it and I bet your list would be just as long or longer!

that I'm no longer a living hell for/to my partner

for the concept of detachment that I've learned in Al Anon, although sometimes I think I may detach too much (Syd?)


A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done.
- Ralph Nader

little reminders

I think you'll like THIS video. It's about friendship.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I go to an AA meeting early every morning; in case I don't get to another one, I've made my meeting for the day (this is hugely important to me)

for the tools I'm learning in Al Anon. My catchphrase for this program is whatever.

that I'm a slogan whore

that the universe takes care of itself pretty damn well, with or without me

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
- Franz Kafka

Attitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a bit of a realization that the things that were happening in my life that led to my alcoholic bottom weren't really much different than the things in my life today. The difference is my ... attitude.

that I like the concept of fake it until you make it (I know many people don't ascribe to this, but that's not my problem).

for the beneficial effects of the Al Anon program for me

that the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has been contained, at least for now


The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes. . . . than what other people think. . . . . or say. . . . . . . . or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home.

The remarkable thing is ….. that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day.

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play the one string we have … our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. And so it is with you.
We are in charge of our attitudes!
Author unknown

Boundaries none

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my anxiety medication. I must have burned up all of my multi-tasking brain cells during my last few years of drinking. Today, I get easily overwhelmed when too many things are happening at once. This used to be my forte when I was working. I could wear many hats every day and handle it all. No more. The last 2 days have been so busy for me, I need a break. Nothing serious, but never a dull moment during my waking hours. Seems like I have many people trying to include me in their drama and I have a hard time saying no to their requests.

for boundaries. Wish I had some. LOL.

that NOW I know I should not have skipped my weekly Al Anon meeting last night. But I need the rest.

that the BIG EVENT begins in San Antonio one week from today


If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.
- Mario Andretti

Howz this for starters?

Difference Between a Marine Officer And an NCO


A young Marine officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, but the only visible permanent injury was to both of his ears, which were amputated. Since his hearing wasn't impaired he remained in the Marine Corps. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of major general. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance.

One day the general was interviewing three Marines, prospects for his headquarters staff.
The first was an aviator captain, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the general asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
The young officer answered, "Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears."
The general got very angry at his lack of tact and threw him out.
The second interview was with a logistics Lieutenant, and he was even better. The general then asked him the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
He replied sheepishly, "Well, Sir, you have no ears."
The general, now really pissed, threw him out also.
The third interview was with a Marine gunnery sergeant, an infantryman and Staff NCO. He was articulate, looked extremely sharp and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The general wanted this guy, and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise the sergeant said, "Yes, Sir, you wear contact lenses."
The general was very impressed and thought, what an incredibly observant NCO, and he didn't mention my ears. "And how do you know that I wear contacts?" the General asked.
"Well, Sir," the gunny replied, "it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no friggin' ears."


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have ears and sometimes use them to listen, really listen.

for those willing to step up to the task

that our Al Anon meeting was about gossip. I wanted to get up and leave, but decided to stay and learn more about myself.

for the laughs and enjoyment supplied by Art Linkletter over the years. He died yesterday at age 97.


The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
- Hadia Bejar

change

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have found the Courage to Change, although it's rarely easy

that I've been blessed with a full life, most of it very enjoyable

to know I still need a lot of emotional development, but it won't all come today

for the Al Anon meeting I attended last night. I was reminded to see the patterns of behavior that can be a trigger for my reactions.


Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
- Richard Bach

Staying fresh

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a sponsee who gets it

for those who do what they say they're gonna do -- it's called integrity! Those who don't do what they say they're gonna do provide me with pertinent information about themselves.

that I've really been enjoying my life recently. It was just a few years ago that I was passing out every night after drinking all day (most days I drank 12-15 hours). I thought I was so lucky to be able to drink that way. Nobody, I mean nobody, got in my way.

for the (usually) intangible lessons I pick up in Al-Anon meetings.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- Lily Tomlin

another new week

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I discovered a healthy boundary I didn't know I had -- it seems to have developed during the past year (Al-Anon?)

that I no longer drink nor do I have any desire or temptation to drink, but some of my other addictions and obsessions are in full bloom

an AA friend once said that recovery is a life of diminishing addictions; I am finding this to be true

that it's baseball season -- the Astros begin their season tonight


If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.
- Mary Pickford

This is gonna be another sober day

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I woke up sober this morning. I remember when ...

that I know what I did last summer

that I'm a regular attendee of AA and Al Anon meetings at a recovery center where we talk about solutions

that I've recently formed a better friendship with someone who speaks my language of cars and planes

How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have discovered a friend.
- William Rostler

Olympic recovery

This is NOT Olympic snorkeling.
But it's thought that alcohol may have been involved.


todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I don't know what great things might happen today nor what terrible things may happen, but I DO know I won't need to have a drink, regardless

for the sharing of personal moments by friends in recovery

that I have friends - LOL

that my Al Anon program (such that it is) has allowed my relationship with my partner to become much more serene (at least, for me)

"Just living isn't enough," said the butterfly, "one must also have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Anderson

cross with caution

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a little more balance in my life each day

for my first official meeting with my Al Anon sponsor -- he made it through it OK

for a really touching first step meeting at noon yesterday because of a couple of newcomers in the meeting

that I always want more of whatever it is I like, so I might as well like being sober, eh?


There's an important difference between giving up and letting go.
- Jessica Hatchigan

freedom and willingness

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am almost always willing to find the solution

for the freedom that the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous gave us to have a Higher Power of our own understanding and to establish a conscious contact in our own way

that I now have an Al-Anon sponsor and am ready to begin learning the steps

that this cold weather will pass -- we are NOT used to freezing temperatures here


If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.
- Anna Quindlen

All the world's a stage ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I had the pleasure of attending 2 very powerful AA meetings yesterday AND a very good Al-Anon meeting as well

that I belong

that Scott W stayed sober another day

that we read Acceptance Was the Answer (a story from page 407 of the 4th edition of the Big Book) in the 6:30am AA meeting.
Here are a few excerpts ...

... "If you had my responsibilities, if you needed the sleep like I do, you'd drink too."
... "The pep pills affected my hearing at times: I couldn't listen fast enough to hear what I was saying."
... "In the hospital, I hung on to the idea I'd had most of my life: that if I could just control the external environment, the internal environment would then become comfortable."
... "To this day, I am amazed at how many of my problems -- most of which had nothing to do with drinking, I believed -- have become manageable or have simply disappeared since I quit drinking."
... "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."

OK. I'll stop here.


Self-discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don't talk back.
- W.K. Hope