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todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


for absolutely more proof that when I do the right thing, the right things happen (but not necessarily on my schedule)

that there will be enough for today, whatever it may be

that I can be there for others, even if I have nothing to say

that I realized (from listening to others) that I can drink/get drunk over anything, or under any bridge. Does that make sense?

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
- Unknown

on being forgiving ...

In a recent AA meeting, we discussed forgiveness. The chairperson used the word "amnesty" as a means of forgiving a person who we feel needs our forgiveness.
I have never heard that term used in conjuction with being forgiving of our friends or acquaintances. For me, it brings forth thoughts of letting someone off the hook.

Also for me, I know that I must be very, very careful about doling out my forgiveness of those who I think need it. This conjures the view of me sitting up on my pedestal and judging my fellow man, then deciding who gets my forgiveness -- and who doesn't.
I DO NOT HAVE THAT LUXURY!!

In my new life of sobriety and recovery, I am learning how to just Live and Let Live. If I sit in judgement of someone and fail to forgive, I am usually going to be nurturing a resentment. And I know exactly what the big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells me about resentments.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the consequences of recovery

that since I stopped drinking 3 years and 8 months ago, I have been Happy and Joyous about 90% of the time. The other 10% I have been in my head thinking only of me, not willing to get out of it. I call this FEAR.

that a couple of days ago I did not act upon a desire to have a cigarette. This is a result of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and the principles it has taught me. (this was the first time I've wanted to smoke since I became a non-smoker almost 7 months ago)

for the humor of actor Tom Poston, who died at 85.

that I remodelled my living room by moving a few pieces of furniture and some pictures -- saved a bunch of money this way! I was planning on getting rid of my current (10 month-old) furniture, then buying a new sectional sofa. But I realized I was giving in to my enough is never enough disease and used restraint. I am having to do the same with my TV and stereo, both of which operate just fine and don't need replacing. I am tattling on myself so as to help me make myself more accountable to me!

Each day we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
-Charles Swindoll

Give me more (please)

A picture from my last real celebration of St Patrick's Day, in 2004. This was at Griff's, a bar of which I am still a part-owner, albeit a silent investor these days.


One of the things that I have come to realize in my recovery is that I rarely have enough. It seems ingrained in me that more is better; more is necessary.

This ugly trait really rears its ugly head in my personal relationship with Hayden. If it didn't surface with him, it would be with someone else. It seems like when I get what I want or what I ask for, I still want more. It's like I can never be happy with what I have. It's something I'm working on and probably will be for the remainder of my days. Then, of course, Bill W. in all his wisdom, wrote about this very thing ...

"For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, page 71

"Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger."
-Lou Holtz