about relapsing

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have not relapsed since I first got sober (yet)

I can't help but wonder about some of my recovery friends who still go to bars and then relapse. What part of "stay away from the bars" don't you understand? That's what I want to ask them, but the few times I have done so, people seem to be offended. hmmmmmmm...

Looking at my own behavior and my motives behind that behavior is possibly the most important part of my recovery. I have to do it continuously. I think this is called Step 10.



The ego lives by comparisons...
The ego cannot survive without judgment.
- A Course in Miracles

But seriously folks ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have not relapsed (yet) from my sober life

for many frequent reminders that I have a deadly disease; something I can easily take for granted

that I have a treatment for that disease but it must be applied continuously

for the times when people tell me about how they have seen me change. I guess Ineed that validation from time to time because I just don't recognize it all the time.



The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

I'm OK, I'm OK

I attended a collector car event this weekend. This car belonged to Bobby Darin back in the day. It's obviously a one-of-a-kind.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful and thAAnkful


that I have no need nor desire to go to bars and clubs any longer. I spent several decades going to bars. I'm constantly amazed at the number of my recovery friends who still spend time at bars. Many of them have one or more relapses as part of their history. hmmmmmmm.

for a lovely night of sober birthday celebrations on Saturday.

that even though I'm sick with flu-like symptoms, I am sober with recovery-type symptoms

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

by design

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to realize, as an alcoholic, that sobriety doesn't just happen. Neither does a relapse.

for the consistency and constancy in my recovery program; it's not an accident

that I watched a BIOGRAPHY episode on Pink Floyd last night. Good stuff. I always loved their music.

that I won't get fooled, again


One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. - Clifton Fadiman

That's a good thing

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I seem to be really busy this week -- things just keep happening every hour
(that's a good thing)

that I almost always see my part in every aspect of my life
(that's a good thing)

for those who make it back to sobriety after a relapse
(that's a real good thing)

for my new car I bought this week (pictured above)
(that's an expensive thing, but good)


Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

today's potpourri

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the 3rd tradition ... "The only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking." It doesn't say quit drinking or to do something about your drinking; it says stop drinking.

that my physical health didn't suffer too much from my drinking. I had progressively worse DT's ove rthe last 10 years I drank, but it disappeared within a week of stopping

for my spiritual life; it's mine and NO ONE can take it away. But alcohol can.

for someone who returned to the rooms of AA yesterday after a relapse after 8 years of being sober

that I watched the President last night so I could get the message from the horse's mouth instead of hearing some reporter's opinion of what he said


Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

bright & shiny

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have not had a drink in over 7 years, no matter what!

that I'm accountable; to myself mainly and to others as well

for those who make it back to AA after a relapse; they teach me a lot

that I lived through another baseball season; I've been a Houston Astros fan since their inception in 1962. It's been a lifelong lesson in loyalty and patience.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Today, I won't drink any alcohol.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


for so many recovery tools. Too bad I don't always wanna use them.

that Kevin C. gave us a little more of his experience, strength and hope yesterday. He is one-of-a-kind.

that when a relapser walked into our noon meeting yesterday drunk or really high (or both) no one over-reacted. She made a complete fool of herself and had to be removed and taken to the hospital by paramedics. Damn, I'm glad I'm sober.

to be the recipient of so many blessings

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Welcome to Thursday at Higher Powered

click on the picture if you need to see it bigger


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that I've stayed relatively sane this week even though my service to others has been somewhat lacking; in other words, it'a been all about me!

to see some friends who have recently relapsed return to the rooms of AA; I consider them lucky, blessed or whatever you wanna call it

that I don't know what I don't know -- someday, maybe I'll find out, but I'm not sure if I'll know when I do

for Hayden

for reruns of the old Carol Burnett Show -- I wonder why variety shows don't work anymore


Winning doesn't always mean being first.
- Bonnie Blair

WED

Dog For Sale


Free to good home. Excellent guard dog.
Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore,
as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.
Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for those who feel comfortable enough to confide in me and those with whom I can talk to freely

that I don't bring negativity to an AA meeting; those who do, show me how far I've come

for the fellowship after the meeting

that a close friend has made it back to the rooms of AA after another relapse.

that Jeremy (Half Measures Availed Us Nothing) celebrated his 100th post on his blog yesterday with an incredible gratitude list. CLICK HERE to see it.


It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Examples

Captain Sullenberger's view of the ditching in the Hudson ...






todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


for all of the examples put before me;

... those who are honest with not only me, but themselves too
... those who are loving and tolerant
... those who lead by example
... those who are forgiving
... those who play by the rules
... those with a constant smile on their face
... those who make it back after a relapse
... those who are judgemental and intolerant
... those who think of only themselves
... those who put things off until the last minute

I'm sure you can think of another example. Leave it in the comment section, if you have a chance.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird

a busy day past

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my yesterday morning did not go as I had it planned; instead, it was better

for Step 3 and the infinite ways it has changed my life

that I got involved in 2 twelfth step calls yesterday (a rather rare thing for me)

for up-close and vivid reminders of the disease of alcoholism and how cunning, baffling and powerful it is. A good friend decided to end his life yesterday. We had talked just a couple of days ago and he seemed ok. Another friend slipped (again) after 4+ years of being clean and sober. I hope she makes it back (again). Those dice can only be rolled so many times for many of us.


Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points.
- Knute Rockne

busy, busy, busy

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that feeling good (and spiritually fit) is not a trigger for me to lower my standards

for the few (percentage-wise) alkies that make it back to the rooms of AA after relapsing

that I intuitively know how to handle many more situations than I used to (every morning in my first conscious contact with my HP, I ask for the guidance to do the next right thing so that I can be the best I can be. Most of the time, it is no longer necessary for me to have to sit and think what that next right thing is. I just seem to know what to do. If it turns out to be the wrong thing, I have Step 10 to rely on.)

that I have a pretty busy schedule today, so I'm off to the gym in a few minutes to be there when it opens at 5am; I'll end the day at an Astros baseball game tonight

that I love recovery!!


When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
- Sydney J. Harris

Just don't do it

intimate corner


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

in an AA meeting yesterday, I was asked to share about my technique of relapse prevention. I told 'em that the best method I have found is to not drink alcohol.

for the fellowship I enjoy before just about every AA meeting that I attend. I often arrive 30 minutes to an hour early.

that my bosses (when I worked) trusted me to get the job done


Catch on fire and people will come for miles to see you burn.
-John Wesley

No soup for you!

This man had what he thought was the best tattoo in the world...



... until he went to prison.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the little fundraiser we had at Lambda -- A Country Ho-Down! Music and dancing. Food. Fun. Fellowship.

that I got to hear Jay F. share his story of experience, strength and hope for the first time

that we attended a one-year celebration of an AA buddy on a beautiful Sunday afternoon around a pool with plenty of good food

for the return of a friend to the rooms of AA after a 2-year absence


An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
-Elbert Hubbard

gettin' it together

disassembled VW




todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that fear may be a mile high and a mile wide, but usually it's just paper thin;
thus, I just have to muster the courage to walk through it

that I heard this yesterday -- it doesn't matter if I believe in God or not. He can do His work without my approval.

for all of you who have preceded me and already discovered the things I need to know

for the few who are able to make it back to the rooms of AA

that I haven't (yet) tested my desire to make it back after a relapse


If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
-Mark Twain

A Day for Kids ...

This was sent to me by Boston.





todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today is my 6th sober Christmas although as a sober adult, it has lost much of its appeal

that although I am not at all religous, I respect the religous traditions practiced by others

that I felt no guilt staying home last night while my partner and his Mom went to midnight Mass

for the compassion I sorta felt yesterday when we had a relapser appear drunk at the 6:30am meeting; he was obnoxious and disrupted the last few minutes of the meeting, but we did our best to ignore it. He has been a regular attendee of that meeting for nearly 2 years.


Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
-M. Kathleen Casey

I can stay sober -- today

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I had no reason nor temptation to drink yesterday and I can't imagine what might cause me to think otherwise today

for those who are able to return to the rooms of AA after a relapse

that This Too Shall Pass works in so many areas of my life, almost daily

that my sister will visit our new home this morning for the first time


THE FUTURE

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there."
-- Charles F. Kettering

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today."
-- William Allen White

back in the saddle

I am not attempting ot make any type of political statement or judgement by using this cartoon. It is meant solely for humorous purposes. If you are offended, talk to your sponsor or psychiatrist.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm just another Bozo on the bus

that a blogger friend is back after doing more research

for further proof that when I am able to just let things go, life is so much easier

that I rarely ponder longer than necessary over decisions that have to be made

that I can share my Astros tickets with others

"It seems to me that it's actually harder to invent excuses than it is to be successful."
-- Jeffrey Gitomer

"Don’t be content with doing only you duty. Do more than you duty. It’s the horse that finishes a neck ahead that wins the race."
-- Andrew Carnegie

reality

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for progress in my "taking care of me" program

that a friend who relapsed this week is OK; he is in the hospital after getting mugged coming from a bar Wednesday night

that relapse is not part of my program -- as I watch others who go back out, I see how difficult it is to get back into recovery

for a Higher Power that is so understanding

that my feelings often have little to do with the facts

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
-- Carl. W. Buechner