8 & 9

1956 Cadillac convertible



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the really good AA meeting yesterday about steps 8 & 9.   It occurred to me that before I can make a list of people I've harmed, first I have to define "harmed".  Then, before I can become willing to make amends, first I must define "amends".  I shared these two thoughts and then, of course, stressed the importance of working these steps with a sponsor who can be objective.  Left to my own thinking, I may think I've never harmed anyone or that I have harmed everyone with whom I've ever come into contact.  I need my sponsors' guidance on this.

for the wisdom of folks who have been there and done that

that I watched the movie "Tora, Tora, Tora!" last night.  It's been many years since I've seen it and I really enjoy the film.  This Saturday, I plan on going to see the new movie "The Iron Lady" with some movie-buff recovery friends.


The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson

Don't be a doormat.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for my step work with another alcoholic. Yesterday, we read more about Step 8 -- "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

"The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own."

"Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one."


I'm really grateful that I'm not nearly as affected by denial as I might have been. I've met many people who live in denial. It can be really tough getting through to them. Another good reason to keep coming back. LOL

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

round and round

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get to be responsible and dependable to the degree that people trust me to be there for them, even at 5:30am (LOL)

for the lessons in willingness that can be developed as a result of working Step 8

for friends who give me baseball ticket$ with great! seats

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. - Anonymous

it's in the trunk ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful Step 8 meeting; I shared about becoming willing to make amends. It's not always easy, but it's certainly worth it.

for a clear head

that I have an instruction manual that tells me how to get sober, how to stay sober and how to live sober

that we got a brand new car yesterday (not another one of my old collector cars). Our 3rd straight Nissan Murano. I think it may be the most car for the money.


This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

Friday morning stuff

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a great! Step 8 meeting yesterday. There can be soooooooo much more to the steps than just the words as they're written.

That I got to work with 2 of my sponsees yesterday. They keep me straight.
Wait. Maybe I should re-word that.

that strange words come from my mouth when I work with another alcoholic one-on-one. Ideas, suggestions and overall comments that come from somewhere deep inside of me. Does this happen with you too?

that this seems to have been a very productive week. I am due to close the deal on my home re-finance this afternoon. Over the course of my mortgage, I would save over $100K.
We'll see how that works out.


To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

Tuesday lite

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

the color green

silliness without hurt

that I rarely take myself too seriously; when I do, life ain't much fun

for Step 8 and the willingness involved. That was an interesting process.


Is a small rainbow any less a miracle than a large rainbow?
~~ anonymous

Step Eight "Made a list ...

of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

Making the list was easy. I just referred to my fourth step and thought a little harder and maybe added a couple of more names. Many people have businesses and institutions to put on their list, but this was not my experience.

Becoming willing to make amends. Well, first my sponsor made sure that I knew the AA definition of amends. He said it was not an apology. Had nothing to do with apologizing. He said I'd probably done that enough times already during my lifetime. No. He said an amends is (1) making right a wrong (2) an assurance that I will change my future behavior.

Well, that would make for quite a challenge. But I was supposed to become willing to do this thing. Was I ready to go to any lengths to stay sober? Yep.
Before long, I was ready.


todAay i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I continue to attempt to live up to the amends I made to my partner. I relapse into old behavior at times and I'm always quickly aware of it. Thank God for Step 10.

that I'll probably never know of some of the people to whom I could have made an amends to

that the Peruvian authorites have Joran van der Sloot in custody and I really hope he never sees the light of day again (I rarely comment on news issues here, but this guy is a real monster)


You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.
- Chinese Proverb

layin' back for the weekend

2 of my 3 girls



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for alternatives

that I am a whole lot less judgemental than I used to be

for the process of working Step 8 for the first time
(a sponsee is doing this now)

that I'll never have to rearrange my life so that I can get drunk
(it was always a time management issue)

You only live once-but if you work it right, once is enough.
- Joe E. Lewis

BONUS THOUGHT ...

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Enjoy the weekend

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for another Step 8 meeting yesterday -- that's 3 of them in less than a week

for a sponsee who is willing to do whatever it takes

that I am doing my best NOT to take myself too seriously but I take my recovery program as if it's life or death (actually, it is!)

that we in Houston are so lucky to have such mild-ish weather during the winter. I know many of you are experiencing hell lately. It's gorgeous here, although a little chilly for us, but this afternoon should be about 65 deg.


Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don't like to do.
-Albert Gray

Pumpkin burger

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have so much, actually more than I ever imagined

that Steps 8 & 9 require me to make a commitment to myself to change my behavior

that I don't ever have to get too old to learn

for my life-partner and our cats (in that order)

that my wrist is much much better now -- it healed quickly


I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have.
-Coleman Cox

potpourii

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the importance of Step 8 of Alcoholics anonymous. Becoming willing to make amends to everyone I've done wrong -- well, that seemed like an impossibility.

that I forgive myself for my character defects

for all the lovely comments and emails from you guys regarding my Mom. It helps to know that I am not alone on this. The numbers of people who have made these same decisions is amazing.

for the great bed we were able to buy. It's a king-size canopy bed. I've never had anything like this before. Pix coming soon. I promise.


ENTHUSIASM

"The key that unlocks energy is desire. It's also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited."
-- Earl Nightingale

"Enthusiastic people experience life from the inside out."
-- Nido Qubein

"I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom."
-- Anatole France

"I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got."
-- Walter Cronkite

exposed

It's L.U.E.Y. weekend here in Montrose (Houston) Texas. I don't participate, but my significant other does.

Leather anyone?

CLICK HERE to find out what's happening.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to realize that my less-than-good attitude can be as harmful to others as any other of my bad behaviors and actions

for the role models in my life

for my AA friend Ron, who broke his leg for the 2nd time in the past 6 months. Maybe he should not have bought that new Harley.

that my motives are almost always good

that my sponsor usually answers his phone or at least calls me back. I've heard of many sponsors who don't do either of those. They have nothing I want.

for integrity

that I've never been denied a visa to enter a country; see Amy Winehouse

for some immense assistance from a program friend

When I kick God out of the rooms of AA, alcohol will bring me back in.
~~ heard in a meeting

A Day of Boldness and Italics

A friend sent me this email ...

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet! I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their rear, doing drugs, while I work.
Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the gifts derived from accomplishing Step 8

that so often, the difference between a good day and a bad day is my ATTITUDE!

for the benefits of doing whatever it takes

that I have never felt the need to disrupt an organized meeting so that I can further my own agenda

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
-Unknown

Brotherly Love ...

is the eighth principle behind the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I try my best not to make the steps any more difficult than necessary (for me). At this point, I am simply making a list of persons harmed during my lifetime. Most if not all of these people have already appeared on my 4th step. Additionally, it's time to become ready to make amends to such people. This may take a little more time, but my willingness to practice love for them AND myself is paramount.
Until I can attain this level of willingness, my progress in recovery may well be stifled.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I stopped digging my alcoholic hole just in time

for some insight into how I keep contact with my HP

that we had an interesting meeting about Easy Does It

that I have been pampering myself this week; staying sober and enjoying recovery, a manicure and pedicure, a 2-hour massage, a new and stronger workout program with my trainer

that I have only spent 1 night in a hospital -- when I was 5 years old and had my tonsils removed

There are two kinds of people: those who do the work, and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.
-Indira Gandhi