Day # 3000 (and counting)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 2.  Me?  Insane?

that I didn't give up before I grasped the concept behind this step.  I could not (for the life of me) understand why it was necessary to accept a higher power.  But then I didn't have any intention of stopping drinking either.

that my insanity takes on slightly different looks today.  My thinking can still go "there".  If you don't believe me, just ask my partner.  He'll be more than happy to expound on this issue.

for the excitement this week at my recovery center (Lambda Center).  You can just feel it in the air.  It's tangible.  The fellowship is ready to celebrate our gratitude.

that I've gone 3000 continuous days without a beer, rum/coke or any other alcohol.
Incredible.  Amazing.  Higher Power.

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.

- old Persian Proverb

Progress, Not Perfection

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm not crazy, just a bit weird at times

for the Memorial Day picnice yesterday sponsored by Lambda Center; there were about 60-70 of us and waaaaaaaaay too much food

that most AA events have more than enough food

that I get more and more fixed, almost every day


Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
- Leo Buscaglia

Back to the present .........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for awareness of my own self-will when it runs riot (yes, Ethel, that still happens)

for the speakers I was able to host during this month of chairing a Saturday night AA speaker meetings; this coming Saturday is our birthday night at Lambda Center when we celebrate many sobriety anniversaries

that I will not try to make any money or receive any other type of financial compensation from this blog, or from my recovery

for the fellowship that I am part of; it's so much richer than the bar "friends" I had

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

Thoughts about Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for our speaker Saturday night at Lambda. He came from Austin (a 3-hour drive) and brought a 6-man contingent/support group with him. They are all very inspiring.

for all the things I have, beginning with my life, my sobriety and my friends. These things are so much more appreciated and held close to me when I watch the chaos that is happening in Japan and in Libya. I'm an avid watcher of news and world events, so it's really staying in the front of my thoughts.

for those who "get it" and those who are hoping to "get it"


The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.
- Neale Donald Walsch

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, Thank You, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.
- Jean Baptiste Massieu

Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy, however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow

the way it is .......

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful experience this weekend. We had a fundraiser at Lambda Center and my homegroup (6:30am AA meeting Eyes Wide Shut) participated with an entry. Each entry (team) had to build a small Mardi Gras-type float using a grocery store shopping cart as the chassis. We spent about a month planning and buying materials and costumes and putting it all together. Our entry won the competition by raising the most money (from the crowd).
Winning is nice, but the fellowship and teamwork we had was incredible. I can't include pictures because of anonymity issues, but trust me, the float and the costumes were out of this world!!

that Step 3 has really been in my face lately (that's a good thing, a real good thing)

for the awareness that most of my troubles are of my own making (damnit!)

that even though I'm staying very occupied, I am still fighting the tempatation to isolate. Not sure why.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

2+9=11

arrival of a cold front

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for almost infinite patience that I didn't used to have; I'm not sure where it came from, but it seems to coincide with my level of spiritual fitness. hmmmmmmmmm...

that I don't have to wear a flat-top in order to have a level head

that an old friend showed up at Lambda yesterday and we got to spend the afternoon together

for healthy relationships - something pretty much unknown to me before I got sober

that my significant other returns from overseas today. He's been away for a month. nuff said.


Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for birthday nights at Lambda Center, where we celebrate years of continuous sobriety every month. For January there were 35 people celebrating 480 years of not drinking.

that my form of mental illness doesn't require me to make a total fool of myself

for the way that things happen, just the way they're supposed to happen. I'm grateful when I recognize this.

for the 22,000 runners who competed in the 39th Annual Houston Marathon yesterday

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Less than 2 weeks remaining in 2010

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for another recovery/birthday night at Lambda Center, followed by our little Christmas gift exchange event

that I still feel the need to stay on top of my gratitude via this list, using this medium

for other ways of expressing my recovery gratitude

for Step 12 and that I try to carry this message to alcoholics (this message being that of the first 164 pages of the Big book of Alcoholics Anonymous)

that I got my computer repaired - $200 but cheaper than getting a new one


Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain.
- Vivian Greene

Ten-Four, good buddy

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that our friend, Zane, told us his story of experience (lots of it), strength (it's obvious) and hope (everlasting) at the Saturday Night Live speaker meeting at Lambda Center

for a relatively quiet weekend

for naturally funny people; I am around many of them every day

that I came across The Recovering Alcoholic. He's the "best drinker ever". Drop by and help make him welcome to this unique world of recovery.

for beautiful weather to be one of many who showed off our cars this weekend; I took a lot of pictures and will psot some of them this week


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain (humorist)

ups & downs

This week, I'll post a few pictures of some cool and unusual streets and roads.







todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that AA accepts anyone who wants to stop drinking.

to know that I'm so powerless over other people, especially others in the program who want to blame their problems on me -- LOL

that most of the people I know seem to like me or at least accept me for what I am

that I had the honor of emceeing a fundraiser Saturday night. It was a spoof on the old Newlywed Game, which we renamed The Gaylywed Game. Lotsa fun and recovery.

that I usually volunteer to participate in my own recovery

I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou

Step this way ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a very pleasant weekend, although it's hot as hell here (like many places)

for the things I've learned from Step 4 -- "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." It teaches me to continuously look at my part in everything that happens in my life.

in a meeting about Step 4, someone shared, "I am waiting for the day when I don't have a part in something that happens in my life." Love it!!

for end-of-the-month birthday nights at Lambda Center. For July, we had 24 celebrants with 290 years of sobriety.

that I got to participate in another Lambda fundraiser -- our own version of The Gong Show. It was a lot of fun. Later this month, I'll be hosting/emceeing our own version of The Newlywed Game, which we've renamed The Gaylywed Game.


Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

fixin' the step

men can fix anything!


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I do my best NOT to make blanket statements that includes other people. The TV announcer before the USA-Ghana soccer match on Saturday said that "this American team has become first-name friends with all Americans." What a bunch of rubbish and a very irresponsible thing to say on worldwide television. I also hear (way too often) people sharing in an AA meeting who include that all alcoholics do this or do that. Speak for yourself buddy. Not me.

that this rant is done (for now)

for a really busy weekend - sober!

that we crowned a new Ms Lambda Center Friday night in a fun-filled drag contest

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.
- Robert M. Pirsig

Step Two "Came to believe ...

that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."


It took a little while.
I ignored anything to do with church/religion since I was a teenager. Any mention of "GOD" sent me running or at least covering my ears. I was afraid something yucky might rub off on me. During the summer of 2003, sitting through dozens of meetings and occasionally listening to the experience of others who felt (or had felt) the same as me finally began to make some headway. I was not aware of that at the time though. But it was slowly working on me. Those last 3 months of drinking AND going to AA meetings coincided to transform my thinking and my attitude. By the end of August 2003, I was ready to accept that a power greater than myself might be able to help me (as if I needed help! HA!).

I had no clue about any insanity due to drinking. But I did think I was having a mental breakdown. But it had nothing to do with drinking. No way. No how.



todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had some visitors at the 6:30am meeting yesterday

for the annual Memorial Day picnic sponsored by Lambda Center - great fellowship!

that I went to an Astros game yesterday. We had a lot of sober fun, but the game was terrible (for an Astros fan).


Most of us spend our lives as if we have another one in the bank.
- Ben Irwin

"I feel free"

A few of the beauties at a Buick Club picnic yesterday.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the Lois Wilson Story last night on the telly; I thought it was really more about Bill, but I enjoyed it

for the passing of another Lambda Center birthday night

that I got to see a friend who moved away about 3 years ago; he's in Houston visiting for a few days from Hawaii

that we have a spare bedroom that another ex-Lambda friend will be using for 2 days while visiting here from NYC

that I get to visit with my therapist today - we haven't talked in over 3 months (because I have not really needed it). Today, we'll just do a life update.


In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.
- John Churton Collins

a simple guy with complicated thoughts

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for people who think outside the box -- they can be a great inspiration to me

that AA birthday night @ Lambda Center is so well attended -- this month, we had 31 celebrants with 314 years of sobriety

that recovery allows me to pretty much overlook those who don't like me and those who treat me with disdain (I think it's more about them than it is about me)

that being my best seems to get easier the more I practice it


All we have to decide is what to do with the time we are given.
- Gandalf to Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring

back to ... ahhhhh ... nevermind

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a quiet weekend, except for ...

a fun night at Lambda ending with a one hour drag show with nine talented contestants

that I am going to take a short trip today in a car that has about 600hp

that the fellowship I find in recovery means just about everything to me; without it, I'd be drinking again


Love means to love that which is unloveable, or it is no virtue at all; forgiving means to pardon that which is unpardonable, or it is no virtue at all.
- G.K. Chesterton

sobriety and serenity

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


that my Valentine returned from 3 weeks in California just in time for a nice weekend

for the fun and fellowship many of us had participating in another Lambda fundraiser; our annual Mardi Gras Parade and we raised about $1300 for the Center

someone asked me yesterday how I remain so serene. I automatically started rattling off some of the tools I've learned over the past 6 years. He said something like, "So that stuff really works?"

You wake up in the morning, and your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life! It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. No one can take it from you. And no one receives either more or less than you receive.
- Dr. Thomas Arnold Bennett

The Total Entertainment Package

A 1961 Lincoln Continental Presidential convertible allegedly used by President Kennedy. It still has the special radio equipment under the dashboard and a telephone in the back seat area.

This was one of the autos on display in the classics section of the 2010 Houston Auto Show this past weekend.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that someone whose recovery I much admire made a point of emphasizing that the Big Book says we "claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection." Many people seem to remove the word "spiritual" from that phrase. They then use this as a reason or excuse to do less than their best. Am I wrong to point this out?

that we celebrate sober birthdays on the last Saturday of each month at Lambda Center. January saw 39 celebrants with a total of 527 years of sobriety. It was amazing to be around all that recovery.

that I can accept the fact that the world sometimes seems to be passing me by -- I say this after watching the Grammy Awards last night. I'm not familiar with many of the performers or songs.

that I had a good time at the Auto Show with a recovery friend

that title of this blog is one of my phavorite frases (I think I coined it several years ago)

We cannot hold a torch to light another persons path without brightening our own.
- Ben Sweetland

just thinkin' ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I had a rather normal childhood (whatever normal is)

that the worst abuse I've ever suffered came at my own hands

for some newcomers at Lambda who seem to be doing their best -- what more can one ask for?

that my constant, never-ending tendency to exaggerate has completely abated since I got sober. The thousands of people in my support group can't say the same thing.


People who matter are most aware that everyone else does, too.
- Malcolm Forbes

so this is what I have typed so far ...

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, And carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my sobriety has passed all the tests put before it -- so far

that my HP seems to know what I can handle much better than I know

for trying new behavior in unfamiliar territory

that I'm helping again this year with Lambda Center fundraising. We're non-profit and self-supporting. Raising money every month is crucial to paying the bills, which can run up to about $9000.

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.
- James Bryant Conant