being sober and stayin' that way

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the results of being sober

that I can't be sober 2 days at a time

that I've learned how to stay sober

that I choose to do the right things (mostly)

that I know how to take direction, without resentment


"The gap between your expectations and your reality is your suffering".
~ St. John Augustine

Merry Christmas, Adam & Eve

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the specialness that is today and tomorrow

that my sobriety has zero tolerance, but my compassion has much (well, it's getting better)

for the little things in life

for Step 10 -- some of my favorite reading is about this step, especially ...
... love and tolerance of others is our code
... continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear
... we have ceased fighting anything or anyone
... alcohol is a subtle foe
... our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness


Every thought we think is creating our future.
- Louise L. Hay

Taking my own inventory

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for these excerpts from Step 10 (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions) ...

... when a drunk has a terrific hangover because he drank heavily yesterday, he cannot live well today. But there is another kind of hangover which we all experience. That is the emotional hangover, the direct result of yesterday's and sometimes today's excesses of negative emotion -- anger, fear, jealousy, and the like.

... Our inventory enables us to settle with the past.

... It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.

... We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.

... Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not.

... Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified.

Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
- Marianne Williamson

change & awareness

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it's OK to be angry and that I know a method to prevent that anger from becoming a major resentment

for Step 4 and the freedom it gives me -- awareness

that I finally learned last night in my Al Anon meeting that I don't need to keep protecting my partner from his own behavior. I allow him to make his mistakes and live his life, but I have always tried to keep those things a secret and I am the one who suffers when I do that.
Hopefully, I can remember to stop protecting him. (this is HUGE for me)

that I'm so blessed and fortunate -- I must always remember to pay it forward.


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard

Freedom (as I understand it)

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that Step 9 catapulted me into the next level of recovery. I instinctively knew that my side of the street was as clean as it could be. No more secrets, no more lies, no more grudges and resentments. Freedom!

that I got a second chance to be the human that I should be

that I have NO intention of blowing that chance and must keep a conscious contact with my HP in order to make good on that chance

for my sponsees and my sponsor

for the contributions of Arthur Penn, Tony Curtis and Greg Giraldo
(and many more; these just made the news)


Follow what you are genuinely passionate about and let that guide you to your destination.
- Diane Sawyer

just thinkin'

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that all those feelings I had during my 30's and 40's (I got sober at age 49) turned out to be wrong.
I didn't have to die with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

that I've never attempted suicide. I have thought about it a few times, more on an intellectual basis. I've thought about how I might accomplish it, but have never been serious about actually doing it. I know many who have done so however.

that I have no big resentments, but there are a few things that I wish weren't the way they are.

for some common sense


You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie.

The Key Word is *CONTINUE*

senior biker's bar


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we read some power writing yesterday morning from pages 84-88 of the Big Book.

... we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes
... it should continue for a lifetime.
... continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear.
... we turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
... love and tolerance is our code.
... we have ceased fighting anything or anyone.
... the problem has been removed.
... we are not cured of alcoholism.
... we have a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.


These ideas are covered in 3 paragraphs. Amazing.


The Promised Land always lies on the other side of a Wilderness.
- Havelock Ellis

No controversy here

I want to know your opinion of people texting during AA or Al-Anon meetings.

Go ahead. It's free.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the tools I've learned in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, such as ...

... restraint of tongue and pen This keeps me out of trouble. I don't have to create more wreckage.

... live and let live The practice of Step 3. I don't need to control the world. It does just fine without my hands all over everything.

... let go of expectations My expectations are future resentments.

... I'd rather be happy than right See all of the above. LOL


It is never too late to give up your prejudices.
- Henry David Thoreau

Step Ten

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

how the practice of Step 10 of Alcoholics Anonymous allows me to ...
... continue working my program throughout each day
... keep my side of the street clean
... monitor my behavior and actions
... prevent getting resentments
... prevent giving resentments
... stay aware of my character assets and defects

What can you add to this list?


We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. - Anais Nin

today is lovely

my friend Boston celebrated 4 years without any mind-altering drugs





todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it might have been worse**

that I no longer have to make excuses for trips in order to drink without restraint

that I no longer have to plan my drinks or what time I will start drinking

that I remember what I did last night -- and every night for the last 2217 nights

that I no longer resent people for interfering with my drinking

that I went to Boston's 4th sobriety celebration last night


Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
- Vesta M. Kelly

** Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 348

my part

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the spiritual life is not a theory

that I was asked at the last moment to chair yesterday's 12:15pm AA meeting. It's a step -oriented meeting and we focused on Step 4.

that in practicing Step 4 often and many times without my conscious participation, I have learned to let go of most resentments becuase I now recognize the part I play in my life

that it's the 1st day of Autumn

for a note from our blogging friend, Trudge (Outright Mental Defective) ... "Dave can you tell everyone that I am sorry but I cannot access my blogger or my gmail accounts. Hope to be back with you all soon."

that our President is a black man and freely admits to being one for many years


You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be.
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

pretty much

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a first-time newcomer at the noon meeting yesterday

that he joined us at lunch after the meeting; there were 18 of us at lunch at the local cafeteria

that my fears are pretty much under control

that I pretty much know how to handle resentments

that I pretty much feel comfortable around others

for the lovely thunderstorm we had yesterday afternoon; only got a half-inch of rain, but no complaints here


Hope is like a road in the country; there wasn't ever a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.
- Lin Yutang

on the road to recovery ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I know the way to a fast resolution of my anger and resentments

for Step 7 and the humility that has come about because of its practice

for my extensive recovery tool box; I just have to remember to use it

for the multitude and wide range of folks whose blogs I've had the pleasure of reading. Steve of Another Sober Alcoholic is retiring (for now) and while I hate to see him go, I am glad I got to know him a little bit over the past year. I doubt that any of us will be blogging forever, so the times we have together are not to be taken for granted. Just like life, eh?

that it’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.


Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.
- Greg Anderson


NOTE: Does anyone know whatever happened to Mark of A Dozen Steps Reborn?

Can you do this?

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I didn't trip over the fork in the road

for some of the lessons from Step 10 ...
continuously looking at my actions and even my thinking
the spot-check inventory
doing the next right thing
pause when agitated
letting go of anger and resentments
live and let live
compassion towards others and myself
recognizing my motives

What have I missed?


We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
-Marianne Williamson

on the freeway ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the constant reminders around me that my alcoholism is alive and waiting

for the changes that have occurred in my life due to becoming a more responsible person

that I carry absolutely no resentments towards people, or groups of people, with whom I disagree on a political or social basis (this is pretty big for me)

that I had the opportunity to witness another fascinating day in court yesterday; a friend accused of sexual abuse of a child. While that charge sounds very ugly, there are extinuating circumstances that brought the jury to a deadlock during the late afternoon, but the judge directed them to continue deliberating.


He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
-Persian Proverb

If you don't have the time to do something right, where are you going to find the time to fix it?
-Stephen King

the fellowship matters

I want this towel.


todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

that being sober seems so natural these days, I often forget to include it on this list

that most of us can speak endlessly about the topix of fear and resentments

for the wonderful and humorous speakers that Scott W. chose during his month of chairing the Wednesday 12:15p AA speaker meeting

that Pam, Zane, Hayden and I had the opportunity to meet Lash (Coffee Bitch) and enjoy a dinner with him (he paid) while he was in town

that Hayden and I visited and graded 9 properties yesterday; we'll see about 6 more this afternoon and then it may be time to make a decision, one way or another

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.
-Brendan Francis

Fear

FEAR ...
is a mile high
and
a mile wide,
but only paper thin.

Walk Through It!!!
(overheard in an AA meeting)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a good meeting about fear where we tied in the connection between fear, anger and resentment

to remember that unless and until I am entirely ready to have my HP remove my character defects, they will most likely always be there for me to use or practice

that I need to practice Step 6 daily (along with everything else)

that I just smiled and actually laughed when a plumber working upstairs knocked a 2'x3' hole in my ceiling, directly over my computer desk (while I was sitting at it!) LOL

for the first cool front of the season to hit Houston; it's wonderful to finally get a break from the heat

Those who want much, are always much in need.
-Horace

Today, I'm not full of s_ _ _

CLICK HERE to see The World Clock


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have a very effective program of resentment avoidance, because I have almost no ability to say NO or to set boundaries with most people

for new ways and suggestions on how to deal with old feelings

that I feel so cleansed today (LOL)

that I'm having a colonoscopy later this morning / a friend mentioned that maybe I'll finally find those keys I lost a few years ago

for all the recovery bloggers I have had the opportunity to meet; many people who live here in Texas, but also in Colorado, Massachusetts, California, Ohio, Indiana, Minnesota and Great Britain.

"The most heated bit of letter-writing can be a wonderful safety valve -- providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby."
Bill W.

as seen from a different angle

"My resentments mounted at the realization that I had flushed a career down the drain, disgraced and alienated my family, and been relegated to the meanest of institutions, a skid row shelter. But I was also able to realize that this bonfire of resentment and rage was beckoning me to pick up a drink and plunge in to my death. Then I realized that I had to separate my sobriety from everything else that was going on in my life. No matter what happened or didn't happen, I couldn't drink. In fact, none of these things that I was going through had anything to do with my sobriety; the tides of life flow endlessly for better or worse, both good and bad, and I cannot allow my sobriety to become dependent on these ups and downs of living. Sobriety must live a life of its own."
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, 4th edition, pages 450, 451

I love the concept that sobriety is totally separated from everything that happens in my life. Apples and Oranges. Anytime I drink because something happens, it's just an excuse to drink.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we had 2 first-timers at the noon meeting yesterday in addition to the return to the rooms of a person who just relapsed after 5 sober years

that I am always glad when someone returns after a relapse; I am glad for them (of course) and I am glad for me, because they offer such a poingant reminder of the nature of this disease

that the resentments I entered the rooms of AA with are gone / non-existent

that I don't mentally beat myself up as often as I used to

for my bike, which I ride infrequently

for the Professor and Mary Ann

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life."
-- Albert F. Geoffrey