On a Monday morning ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that you made it through another weekend and can read this

that my Mom is still hanging in, although each time I see her, she seems weaker and less connected

for a very nice weekend, punctuated by the Houston Gay Pride Parade and Scott W's 54th birthday. I was particularly impressed by the Houston Police Dept.'s Horse Battalion and their crowd control skills. As a driver of a vehicle in that parade with 200K+ revelers (many drunk ones included), there were many instances of people rushing our car to get beads or just embrace Mr or Ms Lambda.

for so many opportunities to do the next right thing

that I recognized a boundary when it was crossed, then took the necessary action to protect myself

Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you.
-Robert Fulghum

They're bigger in Texas

As you know, everything in Texas is bigger.

proud cats

Is this your cat?



Have a gay weekend and be proud!

Pride & Awareness

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I KNOW I must practice Step 6 throughout every day

that I am aware of so many more things around me these days

that I am driving the convertible with Mr & Miss Lambda Center in the Gay Pride Parade tomorrow night; there are typically 200K-300K people (many straight families) lining the parade route

for another (hopefully) productive meeting with the builder/contractor of the new house. I called my builder's agent a f_ _ king cu_ t and had to make a little apology. I won't call him that again (even though it's a very apt description). LOL

that I'm not in denial (I don't think)

that I'm attending the Astros-Red Sox baseball game tonight; it's the first ever meeting between those 2 teams. Last night, I called our friend JJ (click here) to let her know I would be there. I'll wave at ya, JJ!!

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.
-Hodding Carter

It's going, going ...

This video turns out to be a fake; it's a commercial advert, but it looks sooo real!!


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am better at detaching than I used to be, but can still be listed as co-dependent

that I didn't drink any alcohol or smoke a cigarette yesterday - again!

for so many great examples of addiction insanity around me

that our stained hardwood floors can be walked upon by sometime this evening; there's still a lot of work to do but the builder insists he can have it all done by Monday LOLOLOLOLOLOL

that I enjoyed myself at the baseball game last night; no one wanted to go with me, so I solo'd

Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.
-Doug Horton

mid week

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have not had an alcohol-related blackout in almost 5 years

to see numbers of strangers in an AA meeting at which I am a regular

that 30-35 people are going to celebrate their June sobriety birthdays this Saturday @ Lambda

that my biceps tendonitis is getting better, albeit very slowly

Heroism consists in hanging on one minute longer.
-Norwegian proverb

it seems to me ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a reminder about the importance of waiting that extra 5 minutes -- don't wanna miss the miracle!

that today, with guidance from my HP, I'll be the best I can be (I asked for that guidance shortly after I woke up)

for peaceful days in the midst of chaos -- my life 5 years ago was more like chaotic days in the midst of peace LOL


CONTENTMENT...

"I am a big believer in the ‘mirror test’. All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you’ve done your best."
-- John McKay

"Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape."
-- Dr. Michael McGriffy

"I endeavor to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content when I cannot be mended and patient when there be no redress."
-- Elizabeth Montagu

"When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace."
-- J. Lubbock

Looking back

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the limitless ways to stay connected to my HP

for some really good results from acting as if

that the topic of fellowship & friendships in Sunday night's AA meeting; this usually triggers me into self-pity as I realize I have so few real close friends in my life. I have hundreds of acquaintances but no one I hang out with.

that I'm really only about half my chronological age

for the life and laughs of George Carlin

that with a whole lot of luck and everything happening as scheduled, we'll close on the new house next Tuesday (July 1)

that Hayden and I co-exist well in a hotel room together in spite of our differences. We are wired completely opposite as far as awake vs sleep hours. He's a night person and I'm a morning person.

"People don't fail because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit."
~~ Les Brown

Musician of the day

Are you a joiner too?

I might have fallen for this too.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Dealing with life

click on the map for a larger view



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that sometimes, I just gotta act as if

that I have feelings (waaaaay too many sometimes) that I'm still learning how to deal with as a sober man

for the utilities most of us take for granted -- clean water piped right into our homes, air conditioning and heating, electricity and of course, cable TV

for the good AA friend who has allowed H and I to live in his home for the past 3 weeks. We are moving to an Extended Stay hotel today so that we don't overstay our welcome. Our new home builder will be covering the cost. He is hopeful to close by next Friday; I don't think so.

All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.
-Michael Carr

HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY!!

tray tables in the upright position

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I didn't drink yesterday and have no desire to do so today

for the experience, strength and hope from fellow alkies at every AA meeting I attend

for this post

for some good progress on the house yesterday -- rain gutters installed as well as the wrought-iron stair railings, stain work on all cabinets continues and tile laying preparation underway

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
-William A. Ward

Awareness

CLICK HERE to see some amazing before and after pictures of some male celebrities and the results of their plastic surgery.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I came to ...

for awakenings, ephiphanies and aha's

for patience I never used to have

that we are finished choosing bathroom tile combinations (again) after having 2 rooms totally demo'd for a re-do; the guys who did the original tile work were incompetent and we rejected their work. The builder fired them, and is going to eat the cost of new work. Another delay of the completion but we will not settle for shoddy work.

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.
-Josh Billings

I'm rarely in charge

4%

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am constantly reminded of the possibilities -- good & bad

for a Step 3 meeting at just the right time (of course, that could be anytime!)

that the bumps in my recovery road are not insurmountable

for the few people who still put up with me in spite of my shit

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.
-Buddha

progression

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I do what I can

that I woke up sober again today

for the progression of my recovery

that our Wii Olympic Games fundraiser went well Saturday night @ Lambda

that we should have major progress on the new house this week, but I don't think there's any way we'll close before next week

If you don't run your own life, someone else will.
-John Atkinson

Life tips

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if youhave to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to __________ today."
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in factories.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years,will this matter?"
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals almost everything . . . and He can heal everything if it's in His plan. We just need to trust His bigger picture.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________."
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

Political Science

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.Y ou have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half.The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English.Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Friday the 13th

random pictures shot this week of the new house

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I gain a little bit of strength each time I am around recovering alcoholics

that Mom seems to be as comfortable as possible, although her pressure ulcers (bed sores) are very nasty

that I will probably make it through another Friday the 13th without running into Jason

that it's Gay Pride month and I'm proud to be gay

that in Connecticut, it's OK to act like Miss Thing (click here)


COMMITMENT

"Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never. Never…in anything great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense."
-- Sir Winston Churchill

"If you don't make a total commitment to whatever you're doing, then start to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking."
-- Lou Holtz

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
-- Dale Carnegie

"If your energy is as boundless as your ambition, total commitment may be a way of life you should seriously consider."

-- Joyce Brothers

Easy Does It

13

How about you? Click on the box to find out.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am usually doing the best I can

that I (we) got to hear a guy with 24 years of sobriety yesterday; he's never before been asked to share his story (qualify)

that I know the procedure to take to get some help -- I have been feeling overwhelmed in the past few days with life. I am not taking my medication because it ran out shortly after my head doctor moved out of town. If I don't resume that medication soon, Hayden may become a murderer.

that we managed to manhandle the new Jacuzzi into the back yard yesterday

Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.
-Jean Cocteau

But for the grace ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that sometimes I take
First Things First

that 2 of my Lambda Center AA friends celebrate anniversaries today -- Wade H. with 4 years and Ernest P. with 16 years. And, of course, it's PAM'S 17th birthday too.

that I get to "guest" chair the 6:30 am meeting in a few minutes from now

for good advice from my sponsor - he's there when I seek him

that even though today is 6/11, I no longer drink at The 611. That is a bar I drank at during the last year of my active alcoholism. They opened at 7am. Need I say more?

that we set a tentative closing date for the new house for June 20 (I don't think this is realistic, but the builder does)

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-Oscar Wilde

Promptly

Bar Sues Local Church

In a small Texas town, a bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I can only live my life One Day at a Time

for a beneficial Step 2 meeting yesterday -- this question was posed ... "What does insanity look like in your life today, now that you're sober?"

that I am still an infant at relationships but don't have any temptation to drink when I temporarily fail

that I received my 150,000th hit on this blog overnight

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally.
-William Feather

Slogan week

117,764 People


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that sometimes I Think, Think, Think

that I heard a good AA story on Saturday, although it was a little difficult for me to follow

to know that my perceptions are usually the cause of my lack of serenity

for the nurses and their assistants who take care of my Mom. They don't get much recognition, it seems to me. She continues to live, although I think she is about to die at any time. She can barely acknowledge my presence but seems to be in little or no pain.

for a very short Lambda Board meeting

that I don't automatically just believe anything the news media tries to make me think; I am constantly amazed at the gullibility of people I consider friends, who just believe everything they hear, read, watch. Most of the "news" we see these days should be reclassified as "opinions."

It is not the cards you are dealt but what you do with them that counts.
-Anonymous

How about you?

How long do you think you could survive in your own home?

Click on the box.



Now that we've got that out of the way, watch this butthead.

don't let your dog see this

These people were always finding water all over their pool deck and furniture, every time they came home, after being away for a few hours. They thought the neighborhood kids were watching for them toleave, and using the pool. However, they could never catch them doing it. So, they set up their video camera and left.

This is what they found out.

the last Friday of the week

click above


todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for patience (sometimes)

for willingness (most of the time)

for sobriety (all the time)

that my sponsor and sponsee (and myself) were all at the same noon meeting yesterday; that rarely happens

that I love a good challenge (and I love to win too) Oh well.

that the rehab therapy on my shoulder (biceps tendonitis) seems to be working, albeit very slowly

No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself."
-- Conrado I. Generoso

Onward

Nominated as best short joke this year.

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the simple and indisputable fact that today, I am sober!

to get phone calls from new friends who are trying to stay sober for a day

that random events seem to happen each day

that I slept so late yesterday morning (until 8:30am)

for some good progress on the new house

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
-William Jennings Bryan

better late than ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I had a brief, minor mental meltdown, then applied my program and got over it

that drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes are no longer part of my daily life

that Hayden arrived safely and we had a busy afternoon

that I can post on my blog late and live through the experience LOL

Each day we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
-Charles Swindoll

Happy birthday, dear

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting, "13....13....13..."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Somebody poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting, "14....14....14..."


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for those who make it back to try again, after using again

that we had a great! Step One meeting yesterday, led by Jeanie P.

that I'm not homeless and never have been (even though I don't have a home right now)

that Hayden arrives today (on his birthday) after finishing his academic pursuits in Trinidad; hopefully we can settle down soon and resume a peaceful and serene life together (although he still wants to do a lot of travelling)

that former American Idol Clay Aiken played for President Bush in Washington D.C.
Apparently, this is the first time that the words Clay Aiken and Bush have been used in the same sentence. haha

"Truthfulness is the main element of character."
-- Brian Tracy

"From long familiarity, we know what honor is. It is what enables the individual to do right in the face of complacency and cowardice. It is what enables the soldier to die alone, the political prisoner to resist, the singer to sing her song, hardly appreciated, on a side street."
-- Mark Helprin

"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."
-- Phillips Brooks

June Two

Test -- before leaving me today, please leave a short comment. Good or bad. It doesn't matter; let it be on your head.

I want to see how many people will actually do this.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a birthday night at Lambda with many many years of sobriety being celebrated

that I went to the 7pm AA meeting last night -- Mark D. led the meeting and the topic of discussion was our individual favorite passage(s) in AA literature

that I'm not Tatum O'Neal today (click here)

that I almost never get what I deserve

and that I rarely deserve what I get

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

to begin the new month ...

A Riddle

A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.

The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain.
He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.

He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.
2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.
3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag.
He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.