Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Drug of Choice

"When I was drinking, I was okay. I understood. Everything made sense. I could dance, talk and enjoy being in my own skin. It was as if I had been an unfinished jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing; as soon as I took a drink, the last piece instantly and effortlessly snapped into place."

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the paragraph above is from "Student of Life", a story from the Big Book. We read that yesterday at the 6:30am meeting and I soooooo much relate to the descriptions and feelings in that story.

that you guys did not show or tell me how to drink right; that's what I wanted, you know

for a clearer recognition of my insecurities

that I took the time to take care of myself yesterday, which included a long massage and 3 trips to Starbucks for fellowship

for a very long and enjoyable phone conversation with Hayden, my drug of choice

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy; get your picture ready

"When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take -- choose the bolder."
-- William Joseph Slim


Pam said...

That picture SO me. How totally ridiculous I must have looked to the passer by, but if I was comfortable (comfortable being passed out drunk)..then so be it.
I love that story in the BB.

Redhead Gal said...

Student of Life is one of my favorites--I can really identify with it.

Mary Christine said...

Love that photo and that quote.

lushgurl said...

Wow dAAve, thanks for that! I never want to forget how bad I felt/looked/sounde to the outside world.
HUGS (and BTW, I love that Hayden is your new drug of choice, you rock!)

vicariousrising said...

Hi! I think this is my first time posting here, although I am a frequent lurker. I love that photo.

That quote from the Big Book always strikes me, but it's funny because I think I feel more like the unfinished jigsaw puzzle that has found the missing piece now rather than when I drank. I think when I drank, I was trying to fit the pieces in places they didn't quite go, but I thought it all looked quite smashing and brilliant, and wasn't I the cleverest thing ever?

I had to step back to get a little perspective that I had it put together all wrong.

Excellent blog, btw.


Anonymous said...

"for a clearer recognition of my insecurities" I wish I could understand mine more clearly.
I like the sounds of your drug of choice..mine is called Bob.
(my Bob not JJ's!)

Have a beautiful day.

Scott said...

I too can relate to that passage.... so very much! Thanks for sharing that, my friend!

I can also relate to the photo, lol sadly....


"that I took the time to take care of myself yesterday, which included a long massage and 3 trips to Starbucks for fellowship"

I have to learn to take better care of myself...I'm working on it with my therapist. I love you dAAve.

Happy 2 days before your birthday.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

So, a long massage and 3 trips to Starbucks it is.

recoveryroad said...

Hey Dave.

I'd like a massage. My shoulder blades are tight, tight, tight. I may treat myself to one.

Shannon said...

HUH? my request could not be processed????? please try again??? huH??? oh well, got to love blogger

what I said Daave, was, good story. Tell Hayden HI for me next time.
I too indulge in Starbucks many many times. and hmmm dont remember what else... oh welll have a super good day Daave

lash505 said...

I am totally with you on that one yikes is that you holding up the tree.