Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Vocal People

Done with no musical instruments except humans.

... and these are for Steve E. in case he needs them.

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much - he became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”


Scott W said...

Your comment section won't let me type 'GROAN' big enough!

Steve E. said...

dAAve, do you think that bass sound throughout was a human voice? Even so, an EXCELLENT presentation.

And thanks for the one-liners, real gold nuggets. I;ve gotten in the habit of throwing in a short one before the longer, sort of like a warm-up.

After all, an AA meeting is about jokes...not staying sober. Right?

Mary Christine said...

I love jokes like these.

Steve E. said...

dAAve, stay safe, batten down the hatches. My 'puter shows bad weather over there!

Alive And Smiling (Jim) said...

Good ones Dave!

Scott said...

amazing... those folks are really amazing, reminds me of the "swingle singers" from the 1960's

Zanejabbers said...


Zanejabbers said...

Loved der vocals. Were they

Todd HellsKitchen said...