Tuesday, September 04, 2012

I speak the truth ......



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that IT happened 9 years ago.  Today.  It was a Thursday.

I was sitting in an A.A. meeting, one I had been attending for 3 months.  It started at 12:15pm and ended one hour later.  During the past few weeks, I had been attending more regularly, probably 3 or 4 days each week.  

A few days before (Sunday) I had experienced a low point in my life.  My drinking had (once again, for the umpteenth time) gotten the best of me.  My behavior had deteriorated so much that I hated myself.

But I degress.

I can't tell you what the meeting was about because I probably heard very little of it.  I was crying and otherwise bemoaning the person I had become.  But here is what happened .........

At exactly 1:00pm (I know this because I glanced at my watch for some reason) I became aware of a power from above me.  I can only describe it as what being hit by a lightning bolt must feel like.  At this moment, I knew, instinctively, that the obsession to continue drinking was gone.  Poof!  It was gone.   There was no mistaking that feeling.  It lasted just a second or two and I may have smiled.
I asked my friend Don, who was sitting next to me, if we could go have a coffee after the meeting.  Of course, he said yes.
A bit later, at coffee with Don, I told him what had happened.  I think his reply was that "you got it, Dave."
We soon parted and I went home.  During the course of the rest of that day, I was ecstatic.  I had a couple or three drinks, just because that's what I had always done.  But I didn't need them.  And I din't want to get drunk.  At 11:30pm, I opened a beer from the fridge and told myself that this would be the last beer I would ever have.

And it was.

It took me 33 years of hard drinking and many hundreds of blackouts to get to this point.  I regret none of it. 
Not one time since September 4, 2003 have I even had a thought about having a drink or wanting to get drunk or to smoke a joint.  I love my sober life and am willing to do whatever it takes to maintain it.  

Thanks for reading.


It is only those who never do anything who never make mistakes.
A. Favre

8 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I never heard about that experience at 1:00 on September 4. Wow.

Debbi said...

I have chills reading this. Thank you.

Scott W said...

Perfect.

louisey said...

Loved this Dave -- I also didn't know about that moment on Sept 4. Amazing.

Jeremy Ritz said...

Congrats Dave! Thank you for sharing this, I love the freedom in your new photo

member #1128 said...

Congrats!!! Thanks for sharing

Syd said...

Powerful, Dave. Very powerful.

Jacque Gabrielle said...

Thanks for sharing your experience strength and hope...gives me hope...