todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful
that IT happened 9 years ago. Today. It was a Thursday.
I was sitting in an A.A. meeting, one I had been attending for 3 months. It started at 12:15pm and ended one hour later. During the past few weeks, I had been attending more regularly, probably 3 or 4 days each week.
A few days before (Sunday) I had experienced a low point in my life. My drinking had (once again, for the umpteenth time) gotten the best of me. My behavior had deteriorated so much that I hated myself.
But I degress.
I can't tell you what the meeting was about because I probably heard very little of it. I was crying and otherwise bemoaning the person I had become. But here is what happened .........
At exactly 1:00pm (I know this because I glanced at my watch for some reason) I became aware of a power from above me. I can only describe it as what being hit by a lightning bolt must feel like. At this moment, I knew, instinctively, that the obsession to continue drinking was gone. Poof! It was gone. There was no mistaking that feeling. It lasted just a second or two and I may have smiled.
I asked my friend Don, who was sitting next to me, if we could go have a coffee after the meeting. Of course, he said yes.
A bit later, at coffee with Don, I told him what had happened. I think his reply was that "you got it, Dave."
We soon parted and I went home. During the course of the rest of that day, I was ecstatic. I had a couple or three drinks, just because that's what I had always done. But I didn't need them. And I din't want to get drunk. At 11:30pm, I opened a beer from the fridge and told myself that this would be the last beer I would ever have.
And it was.
It took me 33 years of hard drinking and many hundreds of blackouts to get to this point. I regret none of it.
Not one time since September 4, 2003 have I even had a thought about having a drink or wanting to get drunk or to smoke a joint. I love my sober life and am willing to do whatever it takes to maintain it.
Thanks for reading.
It is only those who never do anything who never make mistakes.