Monday, June 11, 2007

An Inconvenient Disease

Yesterday a man who has been trying for 2 decades to get sober asked me to be his sponsor. Initially, I was both surprised and humbled. Surprised, because I have less than 4 years of sobriety and exposure to AA. Why would he ask me to help him?
I was humbled for the same reason.

When I mentioned this to him, he said, "But you are successful at this thing. It's the one thing in my life I have not been able to do."

So I told him that of course I would work with him on the 12 steps that Bill W. and others formulated many years ago. (I also mentioned that I would NOT be his taxi driver, banker or marriage counsellor. In his case, it was not really necessary, but this is a formality that I tell anyone. He drives a new Jaguar, makes gobs of money as an attorney and is single.)

I think for someone like this, there is nothing I can tell him that he hasn't heard before. I will try to help him find a Higher Power that works for him. Some power greater than himself that will provide a defense against taking that first drink. I also know this: if he's not willing to follow the path laid out before him, he will not stay sober. But he's already proved that, eh?

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I begin work with another alcoholic today, one-on-one.

that I can enjoy my own company and entertain myself without drinking!

that I can call the ones who I trust when I need to vent and they will listen before hanging up on me

that the preliminary results from my physical exam are very good; there's still more tests to complete

for early morning phone calls from Hayden, who is now in England

that I don't always buy into all the hype, media or otherwise

that our Miss Lambda 2007 Talent Show comes up this Saturday night --

I will be taking photos for all you curious bloggers who can't be there

"When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"
-- Sydney J. Harris


Meg Moran said...

You will be the sponsor that God wants you to be, what a lucky guy he is to have you!

Pam said...

The sponsees always find us! Thanks for your sweet words on my blog. Enjoy your monday mr. daave.

Scott W said...

It is said some people are too smart to get sober. I hope you can help him find a way.

Mary Christine said...

It's been my experience that folks like you described teach me more than I ever seem to be able to give them.

And I can certainly understand why he would want you to be his sponsor.

jrhighpeteacher said...

You will be a great sponsor. Teach him how to have an honest relationship with you. Make him accountable in his actions, ask questions.

Four years? Remember when the book says *In his FIRST days of convalescence, helping the new man is vital...* (I'm paraphrasing here). Four years is plenty time to be a sponsor IMO.

If you've worked the steps, you can show him how to get a guaranteed spiritual experience! He is probably desperate, so strike while the iron's hot!

Good luck!

Clarity said...

I'm jealous of your new sponsee. I wish you could be MY sponsor. XO

Todd HellsKitchen said...

Step by step...

I'll bet you are a brilliant sponsor...

Trudging said...

My sponsor has less time than I do. She's got a good program and that is all that matters. Besides many women with more time than me have their asses firmly planted in FL. Its a "downside" to sobering up fairly young.

AAwoken said...

I tell them.

I have never seen someone fail who has thoroughly followed our path, period.

Directions are on the box. Follow them. Do otherwise and you will drink, maybe now....maybe in twenty years.
my 2 cents.

lushgurl said...

I think you have the perfect mix of honesty, sarcasm and love, and that your sponsee is one lucky man to have you!
Love ya!

sober Chick said...

It seems that you have something that he wants. I am sure God has something planned for the two of you. Perhaps you can guide him and show him how it is done . . . if anything he will keep you sober and growing :)