Saturday, November 01, 2008

Post # 2000

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope,propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with trembling hands, read the letter...'Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call me when it is safe for me to come home.

12 comments:

Bill said...

My parents would have just been thrilled by the possibility of grandchildren.

Have a grand weekend, Dave!

Syd said...

Good post for number 2000. Have a good day Dave.

Scott W said...

That Bill, always looking at the bright side!

Lou said...

This brought a smile, and reminded me in a tender way of my son, who plays these kinds of jokes on me.

Pam said...

damn a little trailer in the woods sounds so good today.

Mary Christine said...

That kid would be in more trouble with me for the lie than he would be with Stacy.

J-Online said...

I love this letter. It could always be worse!

Trailboss said...

Good one Dave

Sarah Laurenson said...

LOL

Wonderful letter.

Zanejabbers said...

I've read that somewhere? Dad should have sent a note to his friends house that said "Son we hope you will be happy. Your Mum is in the hospital with a coronary and I am on my way to the looney bin. So don't worry about the damned ole report card, I'm sure your new parents will be glad to sign it for you.

Love your Father.

PS. get your sorry Ass home, its got a whupping comming.

Boston said...

funny.

Patty said...

That was cute!