Sunday, September 13, 2009

renewing a passport

This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough)..
You definitely feel the guy's pain!


Dear sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? You have my birth date on my Social Security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs Declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address.
What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know,the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed
- An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang........However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !

 

15 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Good Morning David.

Trudging said...

Thanks so much for sending the crew on by.

Scott W said...

He said yingyang!

Pam said...

and yet there are people who want to give them even more control.

Steve E. said...

Thank God (yes!) the next life is probably in a spirit world, with no pictures, fingerprints, locks, addresses, cell phones SS numbers, IRS, and what all else...

Recovery Road London said...

Beauracracy is like that Japanese thingy which takes over gardens. Looks useful and appropriate at first then spreads and spreads and then by necesscity devours those it is meant to serve.

Come and join us anarcho-syndicalists...the water is warm, the red tape a pale shade of tope...

Boston B. said...

ying yang - ding dang. hi dave.

Boston B. said...

ying yang - ding dang. hi dave.

Anaya said...

Good morning Dave,
I know which blog to read when I want a laugh. Where do you get all this stuff from? No, don't tell me, it's much more fun to come here and get sruprised. Thanks.

Raechelle said...

hahahaha! good one!
:-)

garden-variety drunk said...

wow- i don't remember my passport renewal being such an involved and infuriating process. guess i'll count my blessings : )

Scott said...

hey, I have an idea, let's put the government in charge of health care...

NOT!!!!!

Syd said...

Sigh....I actually had little trouble getting my pass port. Just sayin'.

dailypiglet said...

that dude has a few good points.

Military Gems said...

I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang........However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !

Was your military credentials not good enough ????