I do not enjoy computer jokes.  Not one bit.
I changed my i Pod name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can
stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
A guy got arrested for playing the guitar.  For fingering A minor.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.  I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer Bunny arrested.  Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water?  Boil the hell out of it!
What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog.  I mist. 
What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro - what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again?  Oh deer!
Earthquake in Washington, D.C., is obviously the government's fault.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.