Sunday, February 10, 2008

Dogs & Cats (diaries)


DOG DIARY


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

11 comments:

Bill said...

I can always count on you to post early. Do you take frequent naps, like a cat?

"Just David!" said...

and you just know that's what really goes thru their heads!! ha!!

Scott said...

lol, another great laff to start my day!

thanks, my friend!

Scott said...

lol, another great laff to start my day!

thanks, my friend!

johno said...

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Its a new breathing ohm from Molly, just trying it out inbetween laughing at your post! Loving the dog praying!!!

Happy sunday... evening :)

johno said...

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Its a new breathing ohm from Molly, just trying it out inbetween laughing at your post! Loving the dog praying!!!

Happy sunday... evening :)

Scott W said...

I want to be able to say after everything, that was my favorite thing!

Cats? bleh

Mary Christine said...

HA! As a cat lover, I think that was perfect!

pat said...

Love the picture of the kid and dog.

Zane-nawwaa said...

Dolly says - YEP YEP those aare my FAVORITE things. To hell with the damned cat. They are only here to be chased.

Mark said...

Da** funny!!! Love both the dog and the cat, especially the cat! I'm a cat lover!!!

:P:P:P

I can has imagination to believe that's what they sayzzzzz in dere mines.

:)