Thursday, January 21, 2010

more awareness

something I learned about making amends ...

When I first tackled Step 9, one of my amends was to my (at that time) ex-partner. He lived out of the country, so I wrote an email explaining what I was doing. Mmy sponsor read the amends and approved it before I sent it. It wasn't until 2 years later that we saw each other again and I mentioned to my sponsor that now I would be able to go more into detail with the ex regarding my amends. He said, "NO! David, you've already made your amends. You should never have to do it twice with him."

I was reminded of this last week when I read on someone's blog that they were in the same situation. I wanted to comment then, but didn't want to be seen as telling them what to do. Hopefully, by writing this now, someone may benefit from my experience.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my sobriety does not depend on my serenity

that my serenity does not depend on my happiness

that I seem to be getting farther away from my need to control the world

that a high school friend found me on Facebook; we last contacted each other in 1999 and had lost contact since. He now lives in California. We had a long phone conversation and he was intrigued by the new (recovery) life I lead. He asked for information on Al Anon, which I emailed to him. He has 2 sons that are drug addicts, aged 15 and 30.



Imagination was given to us to compensate for what we are not; a sense of humor was given to us to console us for what we are.
- Mark McGinnis

11 comments:

Garykfc said...

As always, thank you for the double A info.

Pam said...

Now that's some service!

Mary Christine said...

I think there is never a time when we need a sponsor more than when we are making amends.

Scott W said...

Glad we made it over the hump this week.

Kim A. said...

Your friend finds you on FB after 10 years, you are in recovery, he is effected by his sons' drugging, you send him Alanon information. If that doesn't have HP's fingerprints all over it, then I'm a bullfrog.

Namaste

Lou said...

Follow up your email in awhile, and ask your friend if has found a convenient meeting near him.

Syd said...

I hope that your friend goes. That is another indication of how God works in our lives.

I think that making one amends, which is done for me and not the other person, is enough. It may not be accepted but it is enough. Thanks.

Bill said...

February is right around the corner. Is it okay to treat the amends process like Groundhog Day in February?

I love how "it" works, as demonstrated beautifully with your facebook connection with an old friend in need.

Ed G. said...

My experience is that the 9th step is the most powerful of our 12 steps - it's what allows me to live free today.

Blessings and aloha...

Todd HellsKitchen said...

When we speak from the "I" we're never wrong....

chitowngreg said...

Thanks for your post about amends. I think there's a difference between making an amends and working on a relationship, particularly with someone close to us. While it may help our relationship, the amends is for us and our recovery, not the other person. Hopefully, once we've cleaned the slate and are ready to move forward, our future actions toward them will send the ongoing message that we want a better relationship.