Thursday, June 03, 2010

Step Four "Made a searching ...

and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

Contrary to what I hear from so many people, I had no hesitancy or fear in doing this step. I was about 6 months sober when I wrote my inventory. I must have done a pretty thorough job if it because very few situations or people have since popped into my mind that should have been included. When guiding others through this step, I try to emphasize that some positive attributes must be included. It's so easy to focus on the negative aspects of this disease and ignore that we are humans beings with something to offer.

The great lesson I got from Step 4 was that resentments were a pattern of my thinking. I saw that I must look at or find out what my part is in every situation. I am responsible for my actions and reactions. By doing this constantly, I can avoid having resentments against and myself. Everything that happens is a lesson -- both good and bad, but nevertheless, a lesson. Indeed.

Then, I was ready to tell my sponsor about my life. Things I hadn't mentioned to anyone. Or at least, no one person knew all the stuff about me because I had kept my life compartmentalized.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that a friend told his story of addiction and recovery yesterday; I continue to be amazed how similar my thinking is to people who are so different from me

for the volunteer work I still get involved with

for greater balance in my activities than when I was newly sober

that today is my partner's birthday. Unfortunately, he's travelling today and will be gone for several weeks.

The less I give away of what I have, the less that people want what I have.
~~ me


Mary Christine said...

I had no hesitancy about doing my 4th step either. I was ready to be rid of all that junk.

steveroni said...

I used a Hazelden Guidebook--did not know it was an AA "mortal sin". Forget what "devil" gave it to me. But it was very helpful.

Em said...

I love reading about the steps on your blog. My sponsor also had me be sure to list positive assets as well while doing my inventory and it definitely helped. thanks for stopping by, and thanks for sharing :)

Syd said...

I too did not mind my fourth step. It helped me to know myself. I have sponsees who have been afraid of step 4. I encourage them to move forward.

marie said...

I was still so emotionally numb when I did my first 4th and 5th step that it wasn't a big deal for me. Love the end quote from "me." He sounds like a pretty wise guy (no pun intended - hehe!)