Saturday, November 11, 2006

Did You Know ...

Stuff to remember, in case you already knew it ...

Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.
It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will.
He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

4 comments:

Tab said...

Is this what goes on in your brain
in the wee hours of the morning Daave? Cute stuff..made me smile.
Cept for that dog..kind makes me leary of our local dogs now..hope I'm not on any list..lol

Have a beautiful peaceful day:)

Anonymous said...

thanks for the laugh......i had one when i read the jim and jimmy book

keep um coming

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious!

I wonder if Ted Haggard will write the foreword for the paperback edition? Or whether they will just stick with the hardcover?

piglet said...

I laughed until I cried over this one:
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Thanks Dave!