Saturday, October 13, 2012

Two for the Price of One .....


A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates.

”Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asks.

”Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers.  “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman.  I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.  So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker.  I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, ‘Leave her alone now or you’ll answer to me.’”

St. Peter was impressed.  “When did this happen?”

”Just a couple of minutes ago.”


A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest’s collar and says, ”So you’re a priest. I’m a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.”

The priest replies, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.”

The rabbi continues, “And look at this. Here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to
drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then he hands the bottle to the priest.

The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest. The priest asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The rabbi replies, “No...I think I’ll wait for the police.” 

2 comments:

onesobercatholic said...

You're fnny today Dave.

Syd said...

A good one, Dave. UGH on the Mogen David.