Sunday, May 10, 2009

Livin' in Texas

THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING RAISED IN TEXAS

a.. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

b.. There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas .

c.. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before.

d.. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

e.. Onced and Twiced are words.

f. ..People actually grow and eat okra.

g.. 'Fixinto' is one word.

h... There is no such thing as 'lunch.'There is only dinner and then supper.

I.. *Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

j.. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

k.. DJeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

l.. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

m.. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

n.. You measure distance in hours.

o. You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

p.. 'Fixing' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

q.. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

r.. You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.

s.. There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

t.. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

u.. 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

v.. We have four seasons: Almost Summer,Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

w.. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or off to 'Wally World.'

x.. A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

y.. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . . it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What Kinda coke you want?'

z.. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

11 comments:

Steve E. said...

Those are SO FUNNY--and true!

Gin said...

I didn't grow up in Texas, but I did grow up with a redneck mother in a small country town. Your post brought back so many memories of my childhood and made me laugh. This was all sooooo true! I still call every soft drink coke. Everyone where I live now always makes fun of me.

Mary Christine said...

I really love Texas... well, second to Colorado.

Scott W said...

I wanna watch you eat catfish!

Other words:

Accrost

Heightht

Muther, as in Happy Muther's Day.

One Drunk to Another said...

Happy day, Daave!

Mark W. said...

We got possum too, with a book on 100 ways to cook road kill :)

Ahmawlaight is also one word in response to "how are you today."

Georgians would get upset with "Iced tea" - it's sweet or unsweet....

Great list!!!

Trailboss said...

We have our share of sweet tea and DJeet around these parts too. I love Texas. I wish I could lasso the state and bring it up next to Kentucky though.

Queenneenee said...

you crack me up

Ed G. said...

I have a lot of kin in Texas - I love them a lot - you speak truth...

y'all == you
all y'all == you (plural)

Zanejabbers said...

Lordy, give me some fried catfish, fried okra, and fried green tomatoes and I'm in hog heaven.
YU-UMMMMMMMMMM.

Brad said...

Fried catfish really is the other white meat, but any South Dakotan coulda' told you that!

Oh, and that grape jelly makes any BBQ recipe better! (runs and hides)

Brad :-)