Saturday, January 10, 2009

Maintaining your insanity ...

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the Intercom. Don't disguise your voice!

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write For Marijuana.

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go'.

9. Sing along at The Opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

11. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When leaving the zoo, start sunning towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, then go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

10 comments:

Patty said...

Love it! I want to do the hair dryer one really bad.

big Jenn said...

Some really good ideas! jeNN

Mary Christine said...

The first time I went to an ATM (in the early 80s) I screamed when money came out. I thought I hit the mother lode.

Bill said...

A healthy sanity level is exactly what I've been seeking. Thanks for the tips.
I'll report back after I've tried these.

♥Shann♥ said...

lol oldier but a goodie have a great day

molly said...

lol

Scott W said...

For men: go to the lingerie counter at a department store, ask for a bra and panties and when the clerk asks if they can wrap it up, say, "No thanks, I'll eat it here."

steveroni said...

Scott, thanks...earlier this month *I* was the 'bad boy'...

I like "Sing along at the opera"...

peanut said...

oh, dAAve,
you are such a mess ! And, I'm so glad that you are !

Love you

Syd said...

These are great. I liked nos. 12-14 especially.