some of these are kinda punny

Creative Puns for Educated Minds

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was ----Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, ----but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, ----but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class ----because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder ----and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, ----it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road ----and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France ----would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. ----They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. ----Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. ----The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism ----is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. ----One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.---- Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ----'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.---- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road ----is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison ----was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray ----is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet ----writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. ----In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, ----they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: ----Practice safe sects !