I wasn't sure what to write about this morning. So I'll just type few words about what's on my mind.
September 2006 was possibly the most remarkable month I have ever experienced. It may not equal September 2003 in significance, which is when I stopped drinking alcohol after a 33-year binge.
But it was remarkable nonetheless.
First, I celebrated my 3rd year of sobriety. That in itself is a miracle and a gift given to me by my HP. My wonderful friends at AA and Lambda Center played a huge role in that as well by introducing me to the existence of my HP and showing me how to stay connected to same.
Second, there was Hayden. I've already written a lot here over the past 30 days about this situation. I'm still pinching myself that not only did we reconnect as friends (that was the intention of his visit) but we rekindled our relationship and became closer to each other than ever before. In accepting my 3-year AA chip last night, I "came out" publicly that we have made a commitment to each other to be Partners For Life. For us, this means that no matter where we are, together or separate, we will always have each other. We most definitely know one another better than anyone else knows either of us. We are totally honest and open even though we are a generation apart. I've been through the wringer and have experienced all the things that a gay man growing up in the 70's and 80's can think of. He still has a lot to experience and I must allow him to grow. He comes from a society where homosexuality is oppressive. When he's here in Texas, he can be free to express himself as God would allow. I can't deny him that freedom. My ability to understand these things and accept them represents huge growth in me as a human trying to do the next right thing.
And thirdly, I have made a lot of progress over the past month in my recovery. I am trying to take the action to become a little more balanced. I have travelled again for only the second time since becoming sober. That may not sound like much to you, but it's a big step for this homebody. I'm trying to make myself more available to those who may benefit from my experience, strength and hope. And I've made a new friend who is not in recovery, an earth person. All of these things are good and require constant attention from me lest they become just a memory.
Lastly, my mother's health is not good. I am renewing my commitment to her to be the best son I can be. I feel so helpless most of the time, but my HP will show me the right things to do.
None of these things would be possible without my sobriety and recovery. For that, I am truly grateful.