Sunday, October 01, 2006

Remarkable

I wasn't sure what to write about this morning. So I'll just type few words about what's on my mind.

September 2006 was possibly the most remarkable month I have ever experienced. It may not equal September 2003 in significance, which is when I stopped drinking alcohol after a 33-year binge.
But it was remarkable nonetheless.

First, I celebrated my 3rd year of sobriety. That in itself is a miracle and a gift given to me by my HP. My wonderful friends at AA and Lambda Center played a huge role in that as well by introducing me to the existence of my HP and showing me how to stay connected to same.

Second, there was Hayden. I've already written a lot here over the past 30 days about this situation. I'm still pinching myself that not only did we reconnect as friends (that was the intention of his visit) but we rekindled our relationship and became closer to each other than ever before. In accepting my 3-year AA chip last night, I "came out" publicly that we have made a commitment to each other to be Partners For Life. For us, this means that no matter where we are, together or separate, we will always have each other. We most definitely know one another better than anyone else knows either of us. We are totally honest and open even though we are a generation apart. I've been through the wringer and have experienced all the things that a gay man growing up in the 70's and 80's can think of. He still has a lot to experience and I must allow him to grow. He comes from a society where homosexuality is oppressive. When he's here in Texas, he can be free to express himself as God would allow. I can't deny him that freedom. My ability to understand these things and accept them represents huge growth in me as a human trying to do the next right thing.

And thirdly, I have made a lot of progress over the past month in my recovery. I am trying to take the action to become a little more balanced. I have travelled again for only the second time since becoming sober. That may not sound like much to you, but it's a big step for this homebody. I'm trying to make myself more available to those who may benefit from my experience, strength and hope. And I've made a new friend who is not in recovery, an earth person. All of these things are good and require constant attention from me lest they become just a memory.

Lastly, my mother's health is not good. I am renewing my commitment to her to be the best son I can be. I feel so helpless most of the time, but my HP will show me the right things to do.

None of these things would be possible without my sobriety and recovery. For that, I am truly grateful.

Remarkable.

11 comments:

recoveryroad said...

Remarkable. You sound surprised?

**hands Dave a copy of the Promises**

You're reaping what you've sown. I've very pleased for you (and H') and I'm sure your mum is pleased to have her boy 'back'.

:-)
x

NMAMFQLMSH said...

dAAve my bro - I both cried and smiled while reading your post. I am so proud of you in every thing you decided to share with us (me) today. I am grateful you have been a part of my life over these past couple of years. I believe that good things happen to good people. And good things are happening to you. I want to be your best man!? As always you, your family, and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the wonderful post and making my Sunday morning.
I see you,
JJ

Tab said...

Your sobriety is so inspirational to read here Daave.I just love you.
As for you and Hayden.AWESOME.

No matter how helpless you may feel about your Mother's health issues,
nothing could be more important than standing by her side.I have been there..my thoughts are with you.This is the circle of life.

Balance is a beautiful thing...
especially if you are a homebody!

Thanks for sharing~

Scott W said...

You are remarkable.

Shannon said...

I am so happy for you and Hayden, just reading your posts, I can tell how much he means to you, and I was so happy when I read that you two are committed to each other. :)

I also wanted to share with you that I really admire how much you do take care of your mom, and how much you are there for you. YOu are such a good man, friend, son... everything. I love reading your blogs I always get a good feeling.

Have a great day today

Mary Christine said...

It is truly a blessing to me to be able to witness what you are doing, one day at a time.

sera said...

Thats just lovely. really lovely. Well done dave. The power of god goes deep!

12StepSteve said...

Dave

I'm really pleased for you and Hayden. He really does seem like a wonderful man.

I'm also sorry to hear about your Mother's failing health.

Sober Chick said...

It is wonderful to hear of your life, the people that are so close to your heart . . . and even at some tough times, that in which you speak of with your mom, you still walk forward and continue to embrace and build your emotional sobriety.

That is attraction.

Designer Girl said...

dAAve, this is an absolutely awesome post. You've shared your heart, and what is in your heart is beautiful. I'm so happy for you, for your growth, your maturity, and for the love you share with all of us.

piglet said...

I am very excited for you Dave! Life is so good. This reminds me of "don't leave before the miracle happens".