Saturday, October 07, 2006

Working Step 10

"Continued to take moral inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

For those of us trying to live by the twelve steps, this is part of our daily maintenance. I'm writing this as a reminder to myself what I need to do to maintain my program. Maybe it will serve as a reminder to others, as well.

... Cultivate the habit of self-restraint in order to avoid making amends. When something upsetting occurs, take an hour (at least) to take an inventory of what actually happened and what my role was. (I also use this a resentment prevention)

... Include the things I did right. This may include helping others, taking initiative or being an example of working a strong program of recovery.

... Be on the lookout for self-righteousness and self-justification. Do a spot-check inventory if I feel morally superior or entitled to something.

... Examine my motives -- before -- saying or doing anything for someone else's so-called benefit. Why am I helping? Why am I telling someone about how tough my life was or is?

These are paraphrased from STAYING SOBER, by Meredith Gould, page 124

These barely scratch the surface. But they are a good start to my daily practice of Step 10. Have a great weekend.

The only people to get even with are those who have helped you.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this, Dave.

recoveryroad said...

"... Cultivate the habit of self-restraint in order to avoid making amends."

saves eating lots of crow pie.

Nice post, dAAvey-boy. I like Step 10 because it confronts the coward in me. Well. I SAY I like it...I know it does me 'good'. Lol.

recoveryroad said...

"... Be on the lookout for self-righteousness and self-justification."

That's me f*cked, then.


Shannon said...

self restraint for me is sure a whoole lot better than it used to be that is for sure-
I have come to really love step 10

Designer Girl said...

Oh, gosh. Wish I'd read this before leaving that comment on Trudge's blog regarding Mark Foley.

I SO need to cultivate self-restraint. Thanks for this great reminder, dAAve. I need to get that book!

Hope you have a great weekend!

BigSkymAAck said...

I reeally liked your post. It is my goal in life to live it so that I don't have to make amends. It will take a lifetime to accomplish this for me.

lash505 said...

getter er done daave, does that sound like Houston? lol

Ricky!!! said...

I loved that line about getting even with people that have helped you

Tab said...

I have to remind myself daily...(when I don't forget) that I have to practice my progress!
I love this post Daave..good stuff~
Thank you for sharing.

Gwen said...

I am a LOVER of all the Steps with a special fondness for 10 and 11. Ten taught me and teaches me soo soo soooo much. Thanks for this post ~ it is great.


Anonymous said...

I need this post these days! Thanks!