Proceed with caution

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dogs at WALMART and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both."

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
(This is not a true story. It is a joke. If you don't like it, call your sponsor.)


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that we read Bill's Story yesterday at the Eyes Wide Shut meeting; the discussion afterward was great as we each told at least one way that we identified with his story

that I no longer have to look away from people so they won't smell alcohol on my breath

for the concept of killing 2 birds with 1 stone

that smiling at someone costs me nothing

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy, so get your cameras out now!

"It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson."
-- Emmet Fox