Sunday, December 17, 2006

English lesson

I know people who can speak multiple languages. One of my best friends when I lived in Holland spoke 7 languages, all fluently. Hell, I'm still trying to learn English.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France (surprise!).

Sweetmeats are candies (or nuts) while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig .

And, why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

1 comment:

Zane said...

This so funny that you chose to write about this today. My nephew,
Sam (age 42), my sister Rosalie and I had this same discussion at breakfast Today. Using most of the same examples that you have posted. Man you reaaallly can
CHANNEL! HA
Zane