Saturday, August 16, 2008

Aphorisms

I know you've been waiting for this, so I'll quench your thirst, right now ...

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE, CLEVER OBSERVATION,
A GENERAL TRUTH OR ADAGE


1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks ?

9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness - but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 70 if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

7 comments:

Syd said...

These are great. I don't know which ones I like the best but one of the worst visions has to be the millions of old ladies running around with tattoos. What will that butterfly on the butt look like at 80? Not a pleasant thought.

Mary Christine said...

I am looking forward to "happy hour" today - nap time. Have a Haappy Saaturday Daave.

Pam said...

I enjoyed that!
Enjoy your saturday. Hey, are y'all still unpacking or is everything finding a home now?

Scott W said...

Well, they don't make Yugos anymore.

indistinct said...

Hi dAAve!

AlkySeltzer said...

#17. I wouldn't mind the tattoos but (shudder!) what will the MUSIC be?

#19. A "dead" man is writing this comment!

Bill said...

I enjoyed each of these, but I'm all about #14.