not just dreaming ...

my idea of a real snowmobile


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get to watch myself become a different person from the inside

that this Saturday, for an hour, it's all about me. I relate what it was like, what happened and what it's like now. The last part is very much different than the last time I told my story, 2 years ago. And I get to do it on the district level (pride & ego).

for a nice visit with Angela at Starbuck's

that I am in the early planning stages of a trip to Trinidad & Tobago (CLICK FOR PIX) -- it's a one day business trip and 5 or 6 day pleasure trip to be with Hayden and enjoy the other sites (beach) -- if anyone wants to join us or meet us there, let me know -- a few friends from my AA center are planning to go and we can all make it One Big Sober Party

for the following excerpt from Shannon's blog ...
My friends A and C went back out. I am so scared for them. A told me, she knows why, she said, she stopped going to meetings and calling people, and when she was in a bar a few weeks ago (which they never go to bars) and she had this urge like she never felt before, the urge to drink, and she felt like she had to unleash it. She said she convinced her husband it was ok, and then after she did, he did too. That is how fast it can happen. I hear this in meetings all the time when people go back out, and then come back to meetings. They always say, that they stopped going to meetings, stopped talking to their sponsor and friends, they stopped reading the literature, and finally they stopped praying. They go back out. And with in a short time, they end up worse than they were to begin with.
Nuff said.

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy - hope to see ya there

I like the dreams for the future better than the history of the past. -Thomas Jefferson

Having a bad day?

How not to rob a liquor store

The Total Package

this picture is indicative of a Catholic person who is driving a bit too fast

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a great AA 4th step meeting led by the inimitable Bob S. (30+ years without a drink); I shared that the most valuable lesson I get from working and practicing the 4th step is looking at my part in everything that happens in my life -- good and bad

for a laid-back Monday followed by today; I don't have a clue what lies in store for me today, but I know I can handle it, hopefully with some grace and aplomb

for the word ... aplomb

for the thoughts on life and living that I didn't have a concept of even a month ago -- I am changing!!

that everything I experience on this journey is part of my

Total Entertainment Package

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
-Robert Louis Stevenson

Come Fly With Me

2 of my cats, contemplating

They protect the house for me while I'm gone and I really appreciate that.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the 30 people who celebrated a combined total of 346 years of sobriety on Saturday Night at Lambda Center - they all celebrated January sober dates

for a nice weekend inside my head; completely free of the desire or need to isolate from other humans

that I am becoming more aware of the external events and situations that trigger me into isolating. My therapist is helping me to recognize these before they happen and we are coming up with little ways to prevent me from getting to "that bad place." Basically, it's like an advanced course in Awareness and Action. It will require help from others. Imagine that. I may have to ask a friend to help me sometime.

that I am trying to get a handle on the connection between selfishness and motives

that I am still willing to attend some Al-Anon meetings and they are always worthwhile

for the new HNT logo ; feel free to copy, paste and use it on your blog with the new URL link

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.
-Bill Gates

C Dior and a Joke

Galliano style :

A model presents a creation by British designer John Galliano for Christian Dior during the Spring-Summer 2007 Haute Couture collections in Paris.

(AFP/Francois Guillot)

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. “Johnny, do you have a story to share?” “Yes, ma’am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ‘till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?
“Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking.”

No Ask, No Tell

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied, "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Onward

A principle to learn from the sly fox during a fox hunt:

When you are in deep trouble, look straight ahead, look like you know what you're doing, keep your mouth shut, and say nothing!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have so much to be grateful for, although I have had a difficult time writing about those things lately

for the one hour that 6 recovering alkies spent discussing the merits of Tradition Six, which reminded me to say a prayer for the dozens of former Lambda Center members who chose to go elsewhere simply because others voted to allow a CMA meeting

for some insight and good advice from my therapist regarding ways to prevent isolating

for a very productive day and the hope and chance of another one today (for me, this means being the best I can be throughout my day and not regressing to my selfish ways)

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
-Will Cuppy

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

Has anyone seen this drunk in a map store?

he's HERE too along with the rest

of the kooks at

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to hear some different thoughts on how us addicts escape from our problems through isolating, eating and other ways

that I had the opportunity to chair the noon meeting at Lambda (filling in for someone who couldn't make it)

that we all have different talents and can help others in various ways, remembering that virtually every human unit has some impact on someone else

that Gwen gave us a new topic of discussion on SOBRIETY SOCIETY

The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence, but by oft falling.
-Lucretius

Carnaval

click the pic for more info

Money in the bank

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I had a very good day yesterday, nearly free of self-pity and low-esteem, basically back to my regular abnormalness

that on September 4, 2003, I finally knew how to keep from starting to drink again and that my HP was the key

that Mary Christine spilled green tea all over the conference table during a professional presentation yesterday -- apparently, she's human, just like me!

that I am not as friggin' dumb as the managers of the Legal Departments at either BEAL BANK or COMPASS BANK here in Houston. My Mom has money invested in accounts in both those banks. Money totalling about $95K. I have a Durable Power of Attorney that is accepted in every other legal, financial and medical institution that I have presented it to. However, those 2 banks will not accept my Mom's POA, which means they will not even accept her address change now that I have sold her home. She now lives in a nursing home. The mail they send her does not always get forwarded by the Post Office and is lost wherever mail goes to when not delivered. This includes the 2006 tax information that I need. Both Legal Departments insist she must show up in person to sign papers. I have explained she is an invalid and often doesn't even know her name, much less not being able to travel. They leave me with no alternative other than to hire a lawyer and sue their friggin asses. I will begin that action this month and may try to at least double her money because of the trouble they are putting me through.
There! Just need to vent a little. (this may eventually be an esteem builder LOL)

for a new topic - ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE, on Sobriety Society -- please drop in and give your two sense

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy -- if you want to participate and haven't yet gotten access please let Gwen know today

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.
-Marian Wright Edelman

The D Files

Early in December, I put myself into therapy.
My self-esteem was / is at an all-time low. I don't know why this is, but it is very real to me. I am frustrated and confused. And it is as painful as anything I've ever felt. My psychiatrist has told me that my problems can be worked out through communication therapy and medications should not be necessary. I like that.
Part of the problem is that I am feeling things that used to be shielded by alcohol. This seems to be showing itself in two ways: (1) being incredibly over-sensitive to criticism and (2) the feeling that no one wants me in their midst. Regarding number 1, I find it interesting because I used to be an baseball umpire. I was constantly called every name in the book (a very thick book). Lately, it seems like everyone is criticising me throughout every day. No matter what I do, it's the wrong thing. I pray every day (multiple times now) to be shown the right things to do. But whatever I do, (it seems) someone finds it necessary to tell me how wrong I am. Or my low-esteem tells me what a loser I am. So I stay frustrated and want to remain away from humans.
This is stuff I'm trying to deal with. I just need to put that out there. I have good days and bad days. A couple of people have emailed me asking what's going on with me. I doubt that I am the only person ever to have these feelings and if writing about it can help someone, somehow, that's a good thing. I also know that if I can stay clean and sober and continue a conscious contact with my HP, this will pass. At least enough so that I can continue my intended path.
(the irony of the quote below is not lost on me)

The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed.
-Nelson Boswell

Keeping it simple

i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be sober today


HERE'S vetver, another new recovery blogger, drop in and say howdy!

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This Too Shall Pass.
unknown

Enjoy flying?

Yves Rossy had a dream. That dream was to fly. Like a bird.

His dream has become reality mainly because of 4 model-engines which were built under his wings. With these, he can fly at over 200km/hr and conquer mountain summits. During the flight, Yves's body becomes the likes of a bird and, other than a gas handle, Yves does not ride his wings but truly flies them, using various light body movements that he has learned to handle with perfection.

CLICK HERE for the website and a video performance.


submitted by Jessie Young Jr.

Beware! All bad drivers ...

Too many bad drivers where you live? I have the solution. You may not like it. You're gonna have to trust me here.

I think ALL bad drivers should have their license revoked. Legally. By the court system. Who will be responsible for determining who is a bad driver? ME!! Of course.

If I single you out as a bad driver, you must go to court and a judge will immediately revoke your driving privilege (it is a privilege, you know, not a right). The judge already knows that if I send you to him, you deserve it. He will levy a fine for driving badly which will go towards the public transport system in your city. He will take your license and tear it up. You must now use your city's mass transit system. Take the bus. Take the monorail or streetcar (if you have one). Get a bicycle. Get there however you must. You just can't drive anymore.

This idea has some wonderful repercussions.

There will be millions of fewer cars on the road. Gasoline demand will be greatly reduced as well as harmful emissions from vehicles. All of the new road and bridge construction can be cancelled. Won't need all that now. In fact, I may be the only driver left on the road when this is all said and done.

Of course, there may be a few jobs lost in car and truck manufacturing. Suppliers may have to cut jobs and the trucking and shipping companies will have to cut back. A few construction jobs may be lost, but for the overall good cause (of course). I can overlook these little negative points on the economy because my serenity level shall remain high.

And I won't be shooting the finger at you again.

Spiritually drunk

today's art courtesy of artist

Julian Beever

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for some AA brainstorming with 2 entirely opposite recovering alkies, yet arriving at the same conclusion

that when I make a commitment, I keep it (whatever it takes) unless my memory glands just totally quit operating

for a Step 6 meeting and some wildly different views on the way Bill W. wrote that chapter in the 12/12

that Scott W led a fine meeting about Serenity; I think many left that meeting feeling ... serene!

that Hayden can make me feel so good from 2558 miles away (I'll be visiting Trinidad & Tobago in early May if anyone wants to join me on the beach there for a few days)

to introduce another new recovery blogger, CAM PASSI ; he's from Lambda of course, here in Houston

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
-Steve Bartkowski

hAAlf nAAked thursdAAy

The Serenity Prayer was crucial at the beginning of my sobriety. I heard it and learned it at Lambda Center, a gay recovery center in Houston.

They both remain a large part of my recovery program today.

see more fellow HNT'ers at the new website -- CLICK HERE


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I am still willing to do whatever it takes

that people with long-term recovery seem to have a better grip on how not to have another drink; so I am at least willing to listen to their experience

for the significance of Tradition One of Alcoholics Anonymous; without it, I would be dead

that I no longer have to deal with the craving to drink alcohol nor the obsession to stay drunk

that I have the right NOT to support my fellow AA'ers when they celebrate milestones, but I lose my right to expect their support

that the Houston area was spared the really terrible weather conditions that might have been

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Things to remember

pavement art

by

Julian Beever

CLICK HERE

for a short video

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I had a psychic change when I needed it -- another example of my HP doing for me what I could not do for myself

that I never have to experience an alcoholic bottom again; also called incomprehensible demoralisation

that I don't go out of my way to behave in such a way as to set myself up for resentments - I have seen a rash of this over the past few days by people sending out unnecessary emails

that today I can carry on a relatively intelligent conversation with Hayden on the phone, every day and remember it! This is not like the old days.

that a weekday 12:15pm AA meeting @ Lambda Center is not complete when Scott W is not there

to discover Lounge Daddy - another recovery blogger

that tomorrow is hAAlf nAAked thursday - make sure to update your blog with the new URL

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their ground.
-Anonymous

This year is flying by ...

Hollywood welcomes The Beckhams


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a couple of days of winter weather; that's enough for most of us down here

that I don't use the rooms of AA to preach or to push my opinions on others NOR do I feel the need to alter the published words of AA so that they fit my agenda

to add another recovery blog to the list - drop by and visit Mary Anne at One Primary Purpose

for sharing some Experience, Strength and Hope over breakfast with another Dave

that we had our annual Homeowner's Association meeting last night without any harsh words or particularly nasty accusations -- I have learned to just keep my damn mouth closed!

I do not understand the mystery of grace--only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.
-Anne Lamott

Monday morning

more pictures from the pavement artist called
Julian Beever


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that somehow, I was able to overcome my usual weekend isolating trend. This was absolutely done by a power greater than myself. I wanted to isolate; I intended to isolate. But I never "got around to it" and was spared. God doing for me what I could not do for myself.

that it works if you work it

for a fine meeting about the connection between being powerless and the need to set personal boundaries (it was an Al-Anon meeting, LOL)

that I got to see our old home; now remodelled and upadated and beautiful

for vivid dreams that aren't nightmares or even bad stories

for the wisdom of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

NOTE: a reminder to all who participate in HNT, please update your links and URL's to reflect the new site/address.
The new address is http://haalfnaakedthursday.blogspot.com/

Inner Resources

"With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves."
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, page 567

That has certainly been my experience. Because I pushed the concept of a Higher Power away from my thoughts and consciousness for all of my life, this inner resource never had the chance to make itself known to me. With sobriety and some clarity of thinking, my inner resource(s) have the opportunity to reveal themselves, in numerous, unsuspected ways.
It's my duty to myself to remain open minded and willing to receive. When I do, I grow.

Your thoughts?