I can't recall a time that I didn't know --- that I am adopted.
My sister and I were both adopted at birth from a well-known agency in Ft Worth, Texas. She in 1952 and myself in 1954. We never knew our birth-parents. I have never had any problem with that. If I had the desire, I could do the research and find out about my birth-parents and even meet them, I suppose. No interest in that.
It's never posed any major problem or difficulty for me. I was raised in a wonderful home by two very loving parents. I never "wanted" for anything. Except maybe that red Sting-Ray bicycle when I was 11 years old. Oh well.
However ... (isn't there always something?)
1) I do not know the biological / genetic makeup of my birth parents. ie: medical history
I don't know if they or their ancestors were overly susceptible to cancers or other diseases. This would be a nice fact to have in my pocket, but I am not sure what I would do with it. I smoke way too much anyway and wouldn't change that if I knew one way or the other. I suspect there may be some alcoholic and addictive genes in my blood. That's a no-brainer!! LOL
2) I do not know my ancestry. ie: where were my parents from? I have blond hair (gray now) and blue eyes, so I guess that American Indian is not in my blood, nor am I African-American. Most likely, I am of European descent (I think I'm British; I'll blog about that soon). I was always a bit uncomfortable in school when they asked where our ancestors were from. I never had an answer to that one.
I'm writing this in response to a blog I read the other day. Two new adopting parents were in a quandary as to whether or when to tell their new child about his adoption. My only response is Why keep it a secret? Be honest and trust your child to live the same way. By hiding this fact from them, you are teaching them dishonesty at an early age. They will find out some day. Are you prepared for the potential resentments this may cause?
4 comments:
I am constantly told how much I look like my dad (stepfather) He's Nowegian, 6'3", blonde, blue-eyed. I am 5'10", auburn hair, hazel eyes. People see what they want to see. They say that the tendency towrds alcoholism could be genetic. I think I'd be curious to find that out as well as the medical information. Love your site. Have a great weekend!
I had a lime green Sting Ray, with banana seat and butterfly handlebars. Larry Knott, the neighborhood Adonis, had a purple one and I used to ride behind him and watch his perfect ass.
On another note, my sister had a friend that didn't find out she was adopted until she was 16. She got on her mini-bike and rode to Mayfield, 20 miles to the south of Paducah, and was found lying on the grave of her recently deceased boyfriend. Last I heard she thought she was a vampire. Maybe her parents should have told her she was adopted.
Truth is always the best course of action.
I can't imagine the pain of finding out such an important personal fact at a late age.
I didn't find out that my father wasn't my father, and that the guy who lived around the corner from us was, until I was 22. He was my best friend and mentor while I was growing up. He died of cancer when I was 13 years old. I wish I would have know when he was my father back then. It would have been nice to have been able to call him dad.
Honesty is the way to go. Those things tend to catch up with you sooner or later.
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