Recovery / No Recovery

What could it hurt? So I said, "Sure I'll go."

My friend Molly had not had a drink in almost 6 years. We hung out at bars together but she only drank cokes. She did the other coke too, but she didn't drink.

I had agreed to go to an AA meeting instead of entering some type of treatment program. Hayden (my other half) had threatened to have my lovely mother put me away - just because of my drinking! Our compromise was an AA meeting. "Sure, I'll go."

Molly had never been to a meeting in my part of town, so I got online to find one. We went to a place called Montrose Counseling Center for a 6pm meeting. A couple of guys were there waiting for the doors to open and we told them why we were there. That I was brand-new. They told us that there was a better place to go. MCC was for more specialized treatment, they said. They said Lambda Center was the place I should go and it was for gay people.

We arrived in time for a 6:30 meeting. That was 2 years ago - this week.

I could never have imagined that day in May 2003 how my life was going to change. I was only going so Hayden would get off my back. There would still be plenty of time to get fucked up that night after a silly meeting.

I haven't stopped going yet. It's become my second home. It's become my life.

And Molly? She went to a handful of meetings with me those next few months. Molly never stopped doing the nose powder no matter how messed up it made her nose and sinuses. She relapsed with alcohol a year ago and will not return any of my calls or emails. I have no idea where she is or how she might be doing. But I have a pretty good idea.