Open-Minded

Although I was raised in the Methodist Church, by the age of 17 I had forgone most, if not all, religous beliefs. My new life of drinking and smoking weed left no place for the church.

Besides, as I would later justify my lack of belief, how could a right-minded God allow so many terrible events to occur in this world? How could children be murdered, how could whole civilzations starve to death - through no fault of their own? No, there could be no God.

When I came into the rooms of AA, there it was: GOD.

"I knew it. I should have known they would try to make me believe this shit. I don't want anything to do with this."

They said not to be concerned with that right now. "Look at Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." OK, fine. I can certainly understand that and I know and accept what that means. But the rest, well, no way. I continued going to some meetings because (1) the words in Step 1 applied to me (2) Hayden expected me to go to the meetings and I wanted to please him (3) I enjoyed the fellowship and new friends I was making.

As I listened more and more, as I drank more and more, I finally heard what I needed to hear. "This is not a religous program. It's a spiritual program. The difference? Religion is for people who don't want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there."

WHOA!!!!

Just what I needed to hear! Those few words gave me something to work with. I could not only accept a Higher Power into my life, but I could make or create my own God (as I would later come to understand Him).

This was a major breakthrough for me and made it possible for me to finally stop drinking when the time came. I finally allowed God (as I understand Him) into my thinking and when I asked Him to help me, it happened.

These things could never have happened if I had not kept going to meetings AND, if I had not been OPEN-MINDED.