Sunday, February 13, 2005

Powerless

"My name is Dave. I'm an alcoholic. I am powerless over alcohol."

That's a typical opening line at an AA meeting when a person is asked to share his experience. Some day, I may follow that with ...

"I'm also powerless over people. Over their actions. Over their behavior. Over their thinking. I am powerless over my homosexuality and relationships with other people, be it family or an intimate affair. I also sometimes suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and I am Anal-Retentive. I love to collect things, mostly meaningless things. Things that most people would throw away.

I'm powerless over affairs of state - whether they be local, national or anywhere else in the world. I can vote, however, and I do that at 7am on a given voting day (I have to be there early; see Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder).

I'm powerless over drivers, other alcoholics & addicts, over my boss. I'm powerless over dial-up connections, the weather, tomorrow, yesterday, HIV/AIDS, oil companies and Mad Cow Disease. I'm powerless over Ford, Southwest Airlines, people who litter, smokers and Microsoft. My cats won't listen to me; I am powerless over them too. I can't control the TV networks, Dan Rather or Ted Turner. Jane Fonda is out of control and I can't dictate to her either.

Today, I know in my heart the only thing I have any chance of controlling is my behavior. And the only way I can do that is by remaining sober.

All the rest of it, I have to turn it over to my Higher Power, God (as I understand Him)."

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