Pay no attention

I am soooo obsesseive about things.

I write a GRATITUDE LIST every day which I then e-mail to about 45+ people (most of whom are in recovery). More often than not, this list consists of 10-20 "things" for which I feel grateful on a given day. I try to come up with new and different "things" each time I write the list. "Don't repeat yourself, David."

For the past 2 or 3 weeks, the list has become more difficult to write. I can think of less "things" to be grateful for. I know that this is a reflection of what's going on in my head, not my heart. The same holds true for this blog. I have had difficulty coming up with "things" to blog about.

The result is that I feel almost guilty for not having anything worthwhile to write about. This artificial pressure I put on myself can be the very thing to have a drink over. None of those 45+ people base their day on the "things" I feel grateful for. Nor does anyone really care if I blog today or not.

The lesson here is that I need to learn how to better just "go with the flow" and let life happen instead of trying to force MY will on life.