I loved Hayden and would do anything for him. But I also loved drinking. Finally, one day he had enough of my behavior and told me to just stop.
I was in a miserable condition. My days began about 6am when I got up and drank a couple cups of coffee. By 8 o'clock, I headed to one of 2 nearby bars that opened at 7am. I would drive there even though it was only a 2 minute drive to either of them. Two rum and cokes. That's what I would have. Just two. Then I'd drive back home because I didn't want to get a DUI. (I never considered that I was still drunk from the night before.) Then I'd drink beer until Griff's opened at 11am.
This went on for some months, almost the same, almost every day.
Finally, one day he told me to just stop. I tried. That's when I realized that I couldn't. I had never tried to stop before.
todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful
that I know without any reservation that I am powerless over alcohol
and that I am also powerless over
... my Mom and her illness(es)
... my sister's alcoholism and my nephew's drug-addiction
... every other person who touches my life
... every driver on the streets on which I travel
... all the politicians that try to control me and you
... the movies that win awards and the ones that don't
... whatever you may think of me
... the color of the sky and the day of the week
... everything else, except
Instead of saying,
"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?"
"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING FOR ME?"