I have a friend from AA who is "back out." He's relatively new to recovery, having put together about 2 months clean and sober before relapsing for what is now the third time. It's painful to see. Actually, I am not seeing it. He won't return my phone calls, so I know what is going on. It is a very common trait amongst active relapsers.
I know in my heart and from everything I've learned in AA that he must find his bottom. Maybe he must experience the incomprehensible demoralization that most of have been through. My prayers are with him.
I also know that everyone will not hit their bottom at the same time as me nor will they "get it" at the same time. We must each have our own experiences, whenever those occur. I just feel so damn helpless and pray that God has not chosen to take my friend away. I accept that possibility and know that others have the opportunity to learn from my friend's unwillingness to do whatever it takes. There is always a lesson to be learned. I want my friend back from this deadly disease. I want to see his smiling face again. I want him to be happy, joyous and free like me. But I can't make him want it and I can't force it on him.
I am powerless.